Category: Bad Poetry

Moratorium

With the whole world now revolving around the times of 3pm CET, 6pm CET and 9pm CET important duties have to be sandwiched between the Euro 2016 games or discarded altogether. Discarsions, for me, have included no trampolining practice or parkouring. Other pieces of business have to be rushed. Blogging has been put on the Croatian flares backburner.

Then a window of opportunity presented itself. Right now.

Pass the open window
For it bodes ill
The sash could break
Your neck on its sill

Your fave toons

Not for the faint-hearted, the Grauniad reveals HM the Queen’s pop picks. Few surprises of course. And if One may do it, so may we, innit?

So I’ll start you off, just to cause a mild flutter of interest or disgust here.

Michelle, the Beatles, Rubber Soul.

Road to Hell, Chris Rhea.

Let’s dance, David Bowie.

…and almost every Buddy Holly and Billy Holliday number!

So now it’s your turn. Don’t be shy.

Putin put out

I couldn’t miss out on a headline like this, could I? Even though I refuse to watch or enter discussions about the much-feted Eurovision extravaganza, which, allegedly Vlad himself dictated Mother Russia must win at any cost. Heads will roll, it is reported, now that a Ukrainian song about genocide in the Crimea (in English) beat the Russian entry. The votes were rigged by the pesky Western organisers, of course. So what’s new? Apart from the Aussies wanting to horn in on the show too. Typical Eurononsense.

 

Travelling through different dimensions

If you’re insane, do you know you’re insane?

If you can withstand pain, where is the pain?

If you’re a zombie, what is a zombie?

If you’re ugly, why are you ugly?

If you can work any of these out, you’re a better worker outer than me.

A ditty for gaz and FoE

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

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