This morning I went to the Benefits Office to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, “Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.” So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English and have no frigging clue who their Dads are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
My dogs get their first cheques next Friday.
Just a thought Val, you mentioned the other day about a change of phone. Mrs Toc’s nephew changes his every year and always after much research. His main aim is always towards the camera element on it. The other week he showed me his latest. Very impressive it was too.
As you know, I’m an Apple fan but the weak point of the phone has always been the camera facility. So, if you are serious, have a look at this one.
The results it produces are indeed fantastic!
I was sitting in the Cafe Caprice in Camps Bay Cape town sinking a few beers, watching the sun go down with Sipu, who, at the drop of a hat drove over the mountain to chat with someone whom he had only ever met on line. It was great fun and he was an interesting companion. Our time together was all too short. We should have more beers and more chat. He was driving though.
It would appear we have lost two valued members. Val & Zen. I hope they come back. They both offered a great deal to this site.
WW1 explained using a bar fight as a metaphorical learning vehicle.
From a history teacher in the UK. I wish I had history teachers like that….
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Read more…
There was a Scottish painter named Hamish Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where it could, so he regularly thinned down his paint to make it go just a wee bit further. Read more…
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry. ’Is this your husband?’ he nervously asks.
‘No, silly,’ she replies, snuggling up to him.
‘Your boyfriend, then?’ he continues.
‘No, not at all,’ she says, nibbling away at his ear.
‘Is it your dad or your brother?’ he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
‘No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!’ she answers.
‘Well, who in the hell is he, then?’ he demands.
She whispers in his ear ‘That’s me before the surgery.’
The latest toy has hit the shops…
a talking Muslim doll.
Nobody knows what the fuck it says,
because no one has the guts to pull the cord.