January Poetry Competition Results

Apologies for the delay in judging, and thank you to Gazoopi for reminding me.

The January Competition on the theme of Winter Complaints started off well: three excellent contributions from FEEG, Janus and Christopher.

A pity more entries were not forthcoming but thank you to the three who managed to write thoroughly grouchy pomes!

There can be only one winner, unfortunately, so well done Janus, and I must say, I was rather influenced by your apposite illustration.

The Epic poem result

It won’t be long until The Chariot Epic poem (Earth- stranger visits third rock from the sun) is read in universities around the world. The tale of Marvin’s wander through the wonders of this world will thrill generations to come. I’d like to thank the three contributors to this ambitious enterprise: Janus, John Mackie and FEEG.

JM used the opposite tactic of mine of not sucking up to the judge. His anti-Glasgow verses flowed smoother than Edinburgh trams and made me laugh. His poem was a stoater.

FEEG’s account of nasty politicians was anything but feeble. Some inspired rhymes in his denunciations- CO2, poo, venturi, Alpha Centuri. High definition poetical stuff.

Janus took Marvin all over the place. Marv will be glad to see the backside of him. Of the many J odes I particularly liked the Yorkshire moors one. And me being a Lancashire CCC man, born and nurtured. Janus book-ended the epic nicely meaning I didn’t have to insert one of my eccentric codas.

And the winner is… Continue reading “The Epic poem result”

The day the alien saw a wedding

In the distance
Church bells
Church bells ringing
“It’s a wedding” said Magellan
“What’s a wedding? asked Marvin
“It‘s when a man and a woman join together on holy matrimony”
“But it’s two men. What is all this baloney?” Continue reading “The day the alien saw a wedding”

Summer Caving (August poetry competition)

I know you lot are quite a bit older than me so this generation’s offering might not be for you. The Neutron bomb, although old enough to be our big sister, did it for us. Grease is the word.

Summer Caving

Summer caving, had us a whack
Summer caving, me, Debbie and Jack Black
We got fed up with the beach
So we went somewhere out of reach
Summer caving, in the depths
To, uh oh, those summer caves Continue reading “Summer Caving (August poetry competition)”

Short and Sweet – Poetry Competition Winner

Thank you for your entries, FEEG, Janus and JW. I smiled and chuckled my way through your imaginative, charming and hilarious poems. Each one was a winner in my book, but in the end I decided that Janus had the edge for the invention of the deliciously naughty Miss ANGELICA CINNAMON BUNN.

Congratulations, Janus! 🙂

I’d like to teach the world to drill

Our team is boring
Deep into the earth
With much effort
We drill for all we’re worth

Blood, sweat, tears
The toil is incessant
A long line coming up
It’s a wonder we’re not on antidepressants Continue reading “I’d like to teach the world to drill”

Underrated: B Keeper

There are poetry workshops up and down the country and there are many poetry competitions going strong- some in places you would never imagine- yet still school children are taught the metrical classics of all the usual suspects. There are a couple of little-known rhymeteers out there that should be put into the syllabus. One such poet is the daring, modern, superbly sculpted pastoral poems of Mr B Keeper. Continue reading “Underrated: B Keeper”

An effigy

Who’ll sit atop your bonfire this eve?
The current trend would you believe
Is someone famous, an effigy
A simple guy is, oh so passé

Celebrities and politicians
Royalty or sports officials
Dead or alive, it matters not
Light the fire, with them on top

But who to choose I hear you ask
Its really not an onerous task
A kiddie fiddler ought to do
Jimmy Saville or one of the other two