Fantasticks – January

As befits the New Year, here is January from Fantasticks, the strange calendar by Nicholas Breton (1554-1626).  I have been altruistically copying out months, as you may see from past postings.

JANUARY

It is now January, and Time beginnes to turne the wheel of his Revolution, the Woods begin to lose the beauty of their spreading boughe, and the proud Oke must stoop to the Axe: the Squirell now surveyeth the Nut and the Maple, and the Hedgehogge rowles up himselfe like a football: an Apple and a Nutmeg make a Gossips cup: and the Ale and the Fagot are the Victuallers merchandise: the Northerne black Dust is the during Fuell, and the fruit of the Grape heats the stomake of the Aged: Downe beds and quilted Cappes are now the pride of their service, and the Cooke and the Pantler are men of no meane office: the Oxe and the fat Weather now furnish the market, and the Coney is so ferreted, that she cannot keepe in her borough: the Currier and the Lime-rod are the death of the fowle, and the Faulcons bels ring the death of the mallard: the trotting gelding makes a way through the mire, and the Hare and the Hound put the Huntsman to his horne: the barren Doe subscribes to the dish, and the smallest seed makes sauce to the greatest flesh: the dryed grasse is the horses ordinary, and the meale of the beanes make him goe through with his travel: Fishermen now have a cold trade, and travellers a foule journey: the Cook room now is not the worst place in the Ship, and the Shepheard hath a bleake seat on the Mountaine: the Blackbird leaveth not the berry on the thorne, and the garden earth is turned up for her roots: the water floods runne over the proud bankes, and the gaping Oister leaves his shell in the streets, while the proud Peacocke leaps into the pye: Muscovia commodities are now much in request, and the water Spaniell is a necessary servant: the Lode horse to the mill hath his full backe burthen; and the Thresher in the barne tyres the strength of his flayle: the Woodcocke and the Pheasant pay their lives for their feed, and the Hare after a course makes his hearse in a pye: the shoulder of a hog is a shooing horn to good drink, and cold almes make a begger shrug. To conclude, I hold it a time of little comfort, the rich mans charge, and the poor mans misery.

Farewell.

The Coney “cannot keepe in her borough”  – wonderful spelling

Underrated: B Keeper

There are poetry workshops up and down the country and there are many poetry competitions going strong- some in places you would never imagine- yet still school children are taught the metrical classics of all the usual suspects. There are a couple of little-known rhymeteers out there that should be put into the syllabus. One such poet is the daring, modern, superbly sculpted pastoral poems of Mr B Keeper. Continue reading “Underrated: B Keeper”

Overrated: Joan Collins

The right wing journal, Standpoint Magazine, has two monthly features written by different columnists entitled Overrated and Underrated. These essays highlight the good points and bad points of various political and historical figures. I don’t do politics so I’ll pass on that one, Magnus; I’ll stick to the low brow. Other Charioteers are invited to indulge in over/under rated articles of their own. It would be interesting to read of their heroes and villains and could bring about lively debate. Continue reading “Overrated: Joan Collins”

Time and all that

As I sup my cuppa, I’m reflecting on the fact that our cherished hosts down under are already gearing up for the arrival of 2013, while our westernmost colleague has barely finished with yesterday! While, not to be outdone in this race for the future, my internet account is already showing my debits for 2nd January. But hey! that’s another year, another krone!

Continue reading “Time and all that”

A wave from The Bay

Shannon Kahn and Berni Freeman wishing all a happy 2013

And a Happy New Year from me too.

This delightful picture by Mike Holmes wishing readers a Happy New Year graces the front page of my daily read today, taken at Hobie Beach right in the heart of the Port Elizabeth promenade.

I thought it too good not to share.

Call it science, doh?

Vintage Christmas Elves Gift Giving Card

Let’s look forward to another year of ground-breaking research; never mind Higgs Boson, when you can marvel at this one.

“Performing deliberate acts of kindness makes pre-teen children more popular with their peers, say scientists.” Well! Would you believe it? Funnily enough I don’t have public funding or charitable tax status but I’ve just witnessed, under strictly anecdotal conditions of course, a similar phenomenon when handing presents to grandchildren, and I’m not even a peer (or Peer if it comes to that).

“I was not completely surprised that students increased in happiness, because we have found the same effects in adults,” said the researcher.” Really? You mean, being nice to older people pays off too? Surely that will need further intensive research during a couple of fully funded doctorates?

For those cherished colleagues eager to look further into this amazing contribution to the sum of human knowledge, see: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-20851434

Tony Greig

1946 – 2012

Born just up the road in Queenstown, educated at Queen’s College, a legend in these parts.

It was always evident in his commentary how proud he was of Daryll Cullinan and Justin Kemp, both Proteas, both products of Queen’s College but perhaps he kept his greatest accolades for Makhaya Ntini, a product of Dale College, located in nearby King William’s Town, a school with close ties, rivalry and camaraderie with Queen’s

I had the pleasure of attending a breakfast with Tony Greig, it was apparent that he loved his trips here and the company of fellow South Africans.

His commentary sessions with Benaud, Lawrie and Chappell are legendary, always balancing the Aussie spin.

Nothing would have given him more satisfaction than the recent Proteas series win, he might have played for and captained England, lived in Australia but I suspect his heart was always here.

Aussie rules

When last did you see one of these when out shopping?

It’s a wooden standard metric ruler just like the one that I would have used back in the day and yes, for some reason mine was also “made in Australia”  (even way back then, BP¹ perhaps!)

So why this nostalgic reminder of our un-PC, non-green, tree murdering past?

Well, I bought a hundred of them last month!

That’s right, a hundred.

I happened to be at a local wholesaler and as luck would have it he was in the process of relocating to larger premises, he’d been in the existing building for as long as I can remember. At the counter were 4 bundles of 25 rulers priced at R10 each (that’s less than £1 per bundle) I bought the lot.

The staff had found these collectors items (and tons of other dated products) and were either going to scrap them or give them away.

What did I do with them?

Why I gave them away of course, 50 to Quest school for their stationery cupboard and the balance to a nearby local primary school.

¹ Before Plastic