Squeeze the facts to fit the goal – and yes, your bum does look big when you do!
There’s a self-styled voice of reason in the Olde Countrie called the committee for the protection of rural England or CPRE for short. Its latest protest concludes that the major road projects over the past few decades have failed to the extent that they have increased the traffic on the roads affected!
I’m tempted to write ‘d’oh!’ But Backside is otherwise imprisoned today so here’s a more reasonable response.
They cite the Newbury bypass as evidence. Now I remember it from before it was installed – a legendary bottle-neck in Newbury town which held up north/south traffic every day. Of course the CPRE is correct, the traffic was diverted and the town recovered. And the traffic entered rural Emgland’s holy portals. But more traffic? Unlikely. Why suddenly drive around remote villages? Maybe a few white vanmen enjoyed careering along ‘short cuts’ but they’ve always done that.
I must consign the CPRE to its fate as a special interest group we cannot rely on!
Let the wind blow high
Let the wind blow low
Through the streets
In my kilt, I’ll go
All the lassies say hello
Donald, where’s your troosers
At my local convenience store today.
The hitching post and buggy parking spots have been there for a while and are often used (sometimes just to leave a deposit as evidenced), the electric car charger is new and as far as I know, unused.
A few captions spring to my somewhat biased mind:
Sublime or ridiculous
Charging or discharging
Bullsh!t or horsesh!t
Nonsense or horsesense
They’re ‘immoral’ – so she’ll bag Trident, with moral support from Jeremy. So what in my day was known as a deterrent will be left to the eight (known) ‘players’: USA, Russia, France, China, Israel, India, Pakistan and N Korea.
Should we draw in our horns then? Accept our role as a has-been bystander in world affairs? Rely on our friends (!) to deter the rest?
Answers please to Janus’s Bunker, somewhere too close to the Baltic Sea.
Next month I’m due yet another birthday.
I’ve grown fond of 72, six dozen, two cubed times three cubed and the year when I was in the wild no man’s land of being 29.
But 73? Numerically boring, even repulsive. But, you say, I’ve clearly got too much time on my hands, if I even think about such trivia.
But anyway I’m planning to milk the max from my last 21 days (3 x 7) of 72. And happily it’s thawing too, so I can commune with nature again; with creatures who understand.
Drought is a root cause of the Syrian war. It is an absolute truth uttered by our future King. As Thucydides, one of the early Greek chroniclers knew, causes have to be categorised. Some are climatic, others cultural, others political. So it would be helpful if responsible commentators could discuss the matter with HRH. But that’s easier said than done, given the 15-page contract broadcasters are required to sign before any interview.
Backside says, there’s no clever dick like a royal clever dick. Absolutely.
(The Indy and the Grauniad both cover this shamelessly republican tale.)
It’s as clear as urinating in snow, as they say in this neck of the woods. The era of playing by the rules ended when contradicting parents, ignoring teachers and disrespecting coppers became the norm.
The world segwayed seamlessly into two distinct societies, the conformers and the rebels; all in the cause of money and power.
But what’s to be done about sports dopers, automotive cheats and common or garden anarchists?
Well, years ago DK sanctioned a district in Copenhagen where the rules don’t apply. It’s Christiania. Of course its freedoms are abused but it satisfies some primeval antisocial urges.
So here’s the thing: sport is easy. Just run two systems, the clean and the ‘open’. Similar to the old gents v. players, amateurs v. pros.
For cars, establish two classes, conforming and others, differentiated by eye-watering tax rates.
All non-conformists would have to choose publicly not to conform but accept the consequences of their choice. Importantly no stigma would attach to it.
It can’t work, you say. No? Well the present set up is a train crash so what’s not to like?
How could VW engineers ever imagine they could hoodwink the American market with fake emissions results?
If ever there was an example of the mighty falling, this is it! VW Group ads here recently have even managed to underline their leadership with ‘Germans do not make jokes’ – a tag-line that I suspect is now verboten.
The auto industry worldwide struggles with recalls but this is surely the biggest b*ll*ck ever dropped. Quite a feat for a firm to lose market value worth $20 bn – or twice the total value of the French rival Peugeot!
Ziz is ze Wnterhorn of our discontent, nicht Wahr? Hehehehe