To Google or not…

There are an estimated one billion Google searches a day, give or take a few million either way. I am delighted to be in the minority of internet users that do not use the search engine’s facility. For the record I also don’t Ask Jeeves or use the other lesser-known singing search machines like Bing, Sinatra or Dean Martin. I am of the opinion that if I am in the dark, I’ll stay there. Where is it said that you need to know everything? Continue reading “To Google or not…”

Just call me Sir

My headline is a quote from the ever charming PoW, addressed to his first wife; but it is also my own reply to this delicious BBC piece about French waiters.

http://www.bbc.com/travel/blog/20130918-is-this-the-end-of-the-rude-parisian-waiter

Are the Froggies finally seeing the error of their ways? I doubt it but it’s fun to watch them squirm.

This formula is not only for nerds

What’s he going on about now? Formula? Nerds?

Yes, I’m sorry. It’s Backside again, being abstruse (one of his fave words). It’s about poetry – wot he likes doing – but he finds it impossible without a formula, a framework, a function. The three Fs, you might say.

So your mission this month, should you wish to engage, is to reveal your innermost workings by means of this plan:

 

  • The first line of the poem involves an emotion: sadness, anger, confusion, hurt, love, jealousy.
  • The second line describes the emotion as a colour. For example, you might describe anger as “red as a rag to a bull ;” happiness might be “as pink as a chimp’s chuff.”
  • The third line starts with “It happens when . . ..” For example, “Anger happens. . .when I’m told to move myself or words to that effect.” “Confusion happens when I do it but apparently not well enough.”
  • The fourth line begins with “It sounds like . . ..” For example, “Sadness sounds like. . .a Rangers supporter.”
  • The last line of the poem repeats the original emotion.

There! That was easy, eh? Only five lines at a time, rhyming or not, scanning or not, serious or not – but as many emotions as your constitution will stand. But no deviation from the formula, p-lease!

Closing date 27th October after Backside’s standard, formulaic breakfast. Thank you.

The Epic poem result

It won’t be long until The Chariot Epic poem (Earth- stranger visits third rock from the sun) is read in universities around the world. The tale of Marvin’s wander through the wonders of this world will thrill generations to come. I’d like to thank the three contributors to this ambitious enterprise: Janus, John Mackie and FEEG.

JM used the opposite tactic of mine of not sucking up to the judge. His anti-Glasgow verses flowed smoother than Edinburgh trams and made me laugh. His poem was a stoater.

FEEG’s account of nasty politicians was anything but feeble. Some inspired rhymes in his denunciations- CO2, poo, venturi, Alpha Centuri. High definition poetical stuff.

Janus took Marvin all over the place. Marv will be glad to see the backside of him. Of the many J odes I particularly liked the Yorkshire moors one. And me being a Lancashire CCC man, born and nurtured. Janus book-ended the epic nicely meaning I didn’t have to insert one of my eccentric codas.

And the winner is… Continue reading “The Epic poem result”

Don’t trust the fridge

“We trust the fridge” said the oriental-looking stand up guy, Michael McIntyre. Sadly, the comedian’s observation was wrong. Before going away it is sensible to shut down all electrical appliances, excluding the fridge, to prevent, in the worst case scenario, a house fire due to faulty electrics. My friend followed this rule but on his return from holiday he found his fridge had conked out and his kitchen flooded. He didn’t have one of the more modern frost free models. Not only were the goods in his cooler ruined there was also a penetrating pungent smell in the room. Something was off. That’s a shame.

Personally, I’ve not returned from a trip to find a calamity. Not unless you count the number of enveloped bills that have built up behind the door.

Had a great day

Mrs FEEG and I had a great day yesterday.

First was a visit to Southwark Cathedral, followed by a tasty lunch in Borough Market.

After that, a quick stagger to the Shard and a couple of lift rides to the viewing galleries. The bottom one is enclosed and has lots of computers explaining the views you see, which were great. It was a trifle hazy so we could only see abut 10 miles in each direction, though.  The staff there were also very helpful explaining what you were actually seeing. Then a trip up to the upper gallery, which although safely caged in, is also open to the elements. As it was a hot afternoon, the fresh breezes up there were welcome. It was rather outstanding to look down on a police helicopter flying by!

When we finally dragged ourselves down and had had a coffee, we got on a Northern Line train to Clapham and had a great slab of ribs followed by pecan pie at Bodean’s Smoke House.

All in all, a great day out!!