History – Page 8 – Boadicea's Chariot

An old English custom

Some of the meeja hacks are getting hot under their cyber collars about Cameron’s parting gestures to his loyal colleagues. A K or two and a few MBEs. For people who, remember, had to work unreasonably long hours in old buildings whenever Dave and his Mrs needed them. And what else can a departing grandee do these days? He can’t sequester half of Yorkshire or the plate from a couple of monasteries on their behalf. And I wonder what Angela and le petit Hollande can do when they step down? The English honours system is very convenient, full of traditional meaning and cheap to implement. No, I’m afraid it’s raw envy that drives the criticism, and a persistent ignorance of The English Way of politics: it’s about Devil take the Hindmost. And none the worse for that.

Restoration of the House Of Lancaster

Pakistan deserved to win the first test and as fate would have it, the reformed Mohammad Amir scored the winner. That’s sport for you. England have made a few changes and should be stronger. Another thing to take into account is the second test will take place in God’s County: Lancashire.

The county of the Red Rose is famous for many things: Betty’s hotpot, Eccles cake, Lancashire tea, The Big Dipper. With its bold and big landscape there is definitely a case for Lancashire to Engexit and become an independent state. As a naturalised Lanky, I’d go for it. I await an Ambassador’s role in the near future.

lanky-and-dr-devil

Pakistan’s Yasir Shah, the Messi lookalike mystery spinner is ranked #1 in the world at bowling. He is only keeping the spot warm for Jimmy because “our” Jimmy is back. James Anderson is a Burnley man, that makes him one of our own. As England’s leading wicket taker “we” expect him to add a lot of Pakistani scalps in the forthcoming contest. (Pity “we’re” not playing India. That sentence would be better with Indian scalps, wouldn’t it? )

With Lancashire doing so well in the County Championship, and Independence looming, it’s only a matter of time before we receive Test playing status and play the rump of England then go for the stumps of Australia.

A first time for everything

First time in a pub: was 15, was smuggled in by older boys, had three vodkas and orange, was stretchered out.

Son’s first cup of coffee: I don’t drink the stuff and neither do the offspring, though my younger son decided to take the plunge into the unknown for experimental reasons. He said “JW Jnr’s first cup of coffee”. After much gurning and vomiting he said “JW Jnr’s last cup of coffee!”

First ever video recorder owned: Betamax!!!! The boffins at school (FEEG and all his gang) claimed it was the superior technological weapon in the VCR wars. Later, the hegemony of VHS was ended by DVD. In hindsight, maybe the makers of Betamax should have abbreviated their product: BTX.

First time ever I saw your face: First heard this on the underrated Clint Eastwood film, Play Misty for Me, sung by Roberta Flack. Multitude of singers have covered this song. One of the best is the haunting version by Johnny Cash.

First blog ever written: Was on Bebo ( who remembers Bebo?). It was a strange tale of me in the waiting room at the doctor’s, sitting beside some famous figures. I asked Darth Vader if his sore throat was getting better. As debuts go, it was a precocious start. It’s been downhill ever since.

Anybody out there got any unusual firsts (or seconds) they’d like to share. Keep it clean, guys (and MrsO).

Jingo

A Happy Independence Day to our American cousins. Enjoy it as it will be your last.

It is time that the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland ruled the world again. We will start by taking back our lost Thirteen Colonies. Soon the globe will be re-drawn with Union Flags all over it, where they used to be. And if we have sturdy enough winter wear, we will put in the east a British Russian empire.

God Save The Queen.

Why?

Help me out here.

As far as I know, nobody has a good word for Tony Bliar – do they? Think British and foreign gubmints, the British Labour party, the unions, the ‘British establishment’, the Kremlin, the White House, etc. ad nauseam.

So why do the meeja continue to present his BS utterings as news? Who is pulling their strings?

To be clear: no, the UK does not wish too pay him megabucks to negotiate Brexit. No, we do not need him to explain how serious a matter it is.

And frankly, why does he still believe anybody wants to listen to him?

I blame the Vatican.

Rule Britannia!

That’s an order from the People to Westminster. Get it sorted. No more unapproved interference from across the English Channel.

But no doubt Scotland will seek again to defect, N Ireland will once more have to deal with a foreign border.

As an expat my Pounds are worth about 7% less this morning – but that is a personal price worth paying for Britain achieving her people’s will.

Good in parts

Our beloved country is a curate’s egg. (Consult google if in doubt.)

We have a parliamentary democracy (good?) that regularly disappoints (bad?). Be honest, when did we have a competent PM unsullied by dishonest proclamations?

More importantly, we have sports teams that make inconsistent look unbeatable! Today Wales are the best, England are their usual inscrutable (and Scotland?). Come on, N Ireland!

Milk and sugar, Vicar?