Home > Chips on Shoulders, History, Techo stuff, Uncategorisable > A first time for everything

A first time for everything

First time in a pub: was 15, was smuggled in by older boys, had three vodkas and orange, was stretchered out.

Son’s first cup of coffee: I don’t drink the stuff and neither do the offspring, though my younger son decided to take the plunge into the unknown for experimental reasons. He said “JW Jnr’s first cup of coffee”. After much gurning and vomiting he said “JW Jnr’s last cup of coffee!”

First ever video recorder owned: Betamax!!!! The boffins at school (FEEG and all his gang) claimed it was the superior technological weapon in the VCR wars. Later, the hegemony of VHS was ended by DVD. In hindsight, maybe the makers of Betamax should have abbreviated their product: BTX.

First time ever I saw your face: First heard this on the underrated Clint Eastwood film, Play Misty for Me, sung by Roberta Flack. Multitude of singers have covered this song. One of the best is the haunting version by Johnny Cash.

First blog ever written: Was on Bebo ( who remembers Bebo?). It was a strange tale of me in the waiting room at the doctor’s, sitting beside some famous figures. I asked Darth Vader if his sore throat was getting better. As debuts go, it was a precocious start. It’s been downhill ever since.

Anybody out there got any unusual firsts (or seconds) they’d like to share. Keep it clean, guys (and MrsO).

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  1. christinaosborne
    July 9, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    First time I drove a tractor.
    I was 8, couldn’t reach the pedals, I was set up by my bloody brother who showed me how to point it but not how to stop it! nearly ploughed it straight through a 40′ brick based greenhouse. The old man appeared screaming like a banshee and the brother had second thoughts, death defyingly he ran and leapt on the careering Alice Chalmer and swerved the wheel missing the greenhouse by a whisker and roared through a barbed wire fence instead. We were very popular!
    Never driven a tractor since!!!

  2. July 9, 2016 at 10:11 pm

    Life is a game of inches as Pacino said, Christina. Love your tractor story.

    It reminded me of two incidents I have witnessed. One true, the other fictional. There’s an episode of Mad Men where a secretary runs a John Deere tractor over an executive’s foot (which he subsequently loses) in the office during a party. Hilarious, absurd, over the top, it’s got everything.

    The other is a bit sadder. Went to Spain with a few friends when I was a teenager. After surrendering our passports and paying through the nose with pesetas we hired scooters from a…scooter hire shop. First time scooterers, young and free we took to the hills. Alas, one of the bikers missed a turn and fell, nastily, into the gravelled road. He carried the scars on his arms, legs and face for the rest of the holiday. It didn’t make him attractive to women. Alas, again.

  3. Four-eyed English Genius
    July 9, 2016 at 10:54 pm

    First pub visit: 14. I was a big lad for my age. Several pints of Youngs Special and I got home under my own steam (just)

    You are quite right about Betamax. Vastly superior technically to VHS. Thanks to better marketing and the porn industry, VHS won out in the end. However, the Philips V2000 VCR system was far superior to both.

  4. O Zangado
    July 10, 2016 at 7:46 am

    First time I saw colour television. At my great aunt’s house, a documentary about fly-fishing on the River Test. I distinctly remember the kingfisher.

    First time I drank Newcastle Brown Ale. I was only fifteen and was drunk as a skunk as a result (another first). Never been able to face the stuff since and the mere thought of it still makes my stomach heave..

    First entertainment in a car. No, not what you are thinking, you potty-minded Charioteer! I’m referring to a second hand eight track cassette player with cartridges the size of a paperback book and the tape on a continuous loop. It came with a Burt Bacharach album and some light classics, so the prospect any other type of entertainment in my first car was dead in the water from the very start.

    OZ

  5. July 10, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    First time I or Mrs J have been here – on our hols. It’s in the EU, it’s warm, it’s windy, it’s great for seafood, it’s got S American connections. Where are we?

  6. July 10, 2016 at 10:26 pm

    Haw Janius.

    Portugal?

  7. July 10, 2016 at 11:00 pm

    Italy?

    (Pel/l/es’ connection)

  8. July 11, 2016 at 5:56 am

    Janus: if I recall correctly it is Portugal. You mentioned some time ago that you would be going to Iberia’s better country and that, flights and all, it would cost less than the same amount of time in Skagen.

  9. O Zangado
    July 11, 2016 at 6:51 am

    Janus – If you are indeed in the home of the new European football champions who, with the tango ego Ronaldo off the pitch injured and unable to take any credit beyond what his publicity team can drum up, beat the French in Paris last night (Smiley, big smiley with sunnies and a huge pulsating, grinning yellow smiley as well), then where exactly are you? I would be very miffed if you were in Algarve and kept it quiet.

    OZ

  10. July 11, 2016 at 7:49 am

    Miff thee not, OZ! It is Ericeira with its seafood, surf and sun-kissed tiled facades. And Christoper, yes I did! And it’s still raining in Skagen.

  11. July 11, 2016 at 7:51 am

    PS there was quite a party in the town last night – but Momma insisted everybody should be home and in bed by midnight.

  12. July 11, 2016 at 6:44 pm

    First time I drank spirits was in the Customs Hotel bar in Jersey aged about 17 and over a long afternoon I downed about 13 gin and tonics. Feeling rather ill I climbed the stairs to my room and vomited in chunks and chundras into the wash basin. For more than twenty years I couldn’t stand the smell of gin and only rarely since have I drunk gin.

    First time I was asked to play organ at a wedding was for an Irish couple in Dublin. I explained that I had only ever played at funerals (I had played about 4) and the guy said to me “oh dats alright, just play a bit faster.” (True story.)

  13. Boadicea
    July 12, 2016 at 5:07 am

    Since most of the reminiscences here seem to be about a first alcoholic drink, I will relate my tale. My first drink of whiskey was when I was six – my father opened a bottle of what he thought was ginger ale and gave it to me… it was actually whiskey! I remember being rather ill and hating both whiskey and ginger ale thereafter…

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