Restoration of the House Of Lancaster

Pakistan deserved to win the first test and as fate would have it, the reformed Mohammad Amir scored the winner. That’s sport for you. England have made a few changes and should be stronger. Another thing to take into account is the second test will take place in God’s County: Lancashire.

The county of the Red Rose  is famous for many things: Betty’s hotpot, Eccles cake, Lancashire tea, The Big Dipper. With its bold and big landscape there is definitely a case for Lancashire to Engexit and become an independent state. As a naturalised Lanky, I’d go for it. I await an Ambassador’s role in the near future.


Pakistan’s Yasir Shah, the Messi lookalike mystery spinner is ranked #1 in the world at bowling. He is only keeping the spot warm for Jimmy because “our” Jimmy is back. James Anderson is a Burnley man, that makes him one of our own. As England’s leading wicket taker “we” expect him to add a lot of Pakistani scalps in the forthcoming contest. (Pity “we’re” not playing India. That sentence would be better with Indian scalps, wouldn’t it? )

With Lancashire doing so well in the County Championship, and Independence looming, it’s only a matter of time before we receive Test playing status and play the rump of England then go for the stumps of Australia.

7 thoughts on “Restoration of the House Of Lancaster”

  1. You soon-to-be-independent North Brits can forget about ‘us’, the England teams who bring such honour to our own private sovereign state. 😎

  2. Right then JW.

    Thats my Yorkist ‘winter of discontent’; right off the Richter scale, Southron supporting-wise.

    Lancashire? Bloody Lancashire? Cheap and nasty cotton and not the honest wool which moulds itself to the posterior of our Lord Speaker in time-honoured, sackish tradition

    You can stick your cotton in your ear as far as I am concerned, bud!

    Moving on, welcome back to the cricketing big time, You may, temporarily be above the Big County and could, I suppose manage to cling onto Div 1 status. Whatever. Be prepared to be second best to the White Rose for yet another year.

    The big news is, of course, the revelation that Theresa May was thwarted by the Eton Mafia in her desire to reward the institution that is the greatest living English cricketer. .

    It’s now only a matter of time until Sir Geoffrey arises.

  3. To be fair, Janus, the future Sir G would be utterly keech at ‘Battleships’

    He would take far too long to make any move of any sort and it would, when it finally happened, be over defensive and fairly boring.

    Does not, necessarily, make him a bad person, of course.

  4. JM, just back from watching the Queen’s XI. Kranjcar is an absolute class act. I am getting carried away after two games but believe me we will win everything this season.
    What were we talking about anyway? Oh yeah, the colour of roses. Yet another Game Of Thorns.

    Follow, followed the Lancs v Durham game on Cricinfo this afternoon. Exciting stuff, it was played at Southport, we narrowly lost. Drat! Still up there, though, and still have a cushy fixture v Yorks to play.

    Cotton bud remark was good and best of luck against the Maltesers in the second leg, hope they don’t sicken you..

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