Category: Competition

Sporting pleasure

Back in the woods I’m quietly enjoying the weekend’s events. The Blacks bossed the Walabies, The Special One lost again and blamed everyone except himself and England took five early wickets.

The Janus clan graced the cinema on Thursday to catch up with Bond and throroughly enjoyed it. The mums drooled over James and Backside got hot under the collar about his latest squeeze. The film ticked all the boxes to qualify as a worthy 007 event – a kind of sport in its own right.

So let’s sit back and see if Pakistan will collapse, Lewis will win and Sunderland can get a point. Enjoy.

 

Coin a word

We all use wellingtons, cardigans and hoovers; we bowdlerise and boycott; and use spoonerisms and malapropisms.

Now’s your chance to sanctify somebody you love or hate or simply ignore. Use a name to capture their essential qualities.

I’ll start you off, with a couple of shoe-ins:

A pompous bullying bore: a clarkson.

A mendacious hypocritical self-seeker: a blair.

To piggy-back and exploit another’s success: to hillary.

To get out of jail free: to oscar.

Over to you, coiners!

 

Department of meaningless surveys

The Danes just lurv to find out how well they rate against other countries. The obsession evinces itself every time a commentator spews forth his/her analysis of Denmark’s teams’ performance: ‘Less then world class’, ‘One of Europe’s best’, etc.

And now there’s this:

Click to access rankings_2015.pdf

Bet you didn’t realise that the US of A ranks 90th after Timor-Leste and before Morocco in economic globalisation! Nor did I. Overall the Yanks just beat Slovenia!

Good, ain’t it?

Alles ist nicht in Ordnung

How could VW engineers ever imagine they could hoodwink the American market with fake emissions results?

If ever there was an example of the mighty falling, this is it! VW Group ads here recently have even managed to underline their leadership with ‘Germans do not make jokes’ – a tag-line that I suspect is now verboten.

The auto industry worldwide struggles with recalls but this is surely the biggest b*ll*ck ever dropped. Quite a feat for a firm to lose market value worth $20 bn – or twice the total value of the French rival Peugeot!

Ziz is ze Wnterhorn of our discontent, nicht Wahr? Hehehehe