An Interesting Election

Local elections in the United Kingdom have yielded interesting results. Wavey Davey’s beleaguered Conservatives did remarkably indifferently in England and Wales. Proving that Scotland is if nothing else a world onto itself Ruth Davidson led her party from the political wilderness into being the official opposition at Holyrood. The fragrant Wee Nippy, as I predicted last year, remains the leader of the devolved regional government but  without a majority. The SNP overplayed the nationalist card. Unionist Scots are growing highly adept at tactical voting and this has helped to destroy the majority that Alex Salmond, the historical, present and eternal source of all Continue reading “An Interesting Election”

The Trial of the Last Century

Having watched the excellent ten part The People v O.J. Simpson on TV, marred only by the miscasting of Cuba Gooding Jr. as OJ- in this critic’s eyes he’s too small to play the part, I read the book that the series was based on. The book is a real clichéd page turner. I’m not undermining the book by saying that. It is a comprehensive recount of the tragedy.

We can all recall the events of the trial and the pre-trial low speed chase when it actually happened but in hindsight this case really was something else. The book could easily pass as a piece of fiction. It’s got all the potboiler ingredients. I could name four dozen plays that would make a first down. There were dysfunctional prosecuting lawyers, duelling with themselves defense lawyers, a vain judge, a Brentwood Hello (don’t ask), racist cops, barking dogs, DNA experts (unheard of at the time), OJ’s hanger-ons, the first public awareness of the name Kardashian, XtraLarge gloves that didn’t fit, a biased jury and on and on I could go on. As the writer weaves the reader through all the entanglements it’s easy to forget that two people were murdered.

There are lots of asides in the book that the TV show missed. When the National Enquirer ran topless photos of the prosecutor, Marcia Clark, she was so humiliated she sobbed in court. Her co-prosecutor, Scott Gordon, quick as a flash jotted down a response on the paper next to her. “The Enquirer was going to publish the same photos of me but Greenpeace wouldn’t let them do it”. This made Clark smile.

The verdict went in Simpson’s favor, though once a rogue always a rogue. He is currently serving a jail term for armed robbery and kidnapping. His luck might have run out but never forget that this was a bad man that got away with a double murder.

Of Beards and Men

It seems to be de rigueur for young men nowadays to sport beards and/or facial growth. One of my sons sometimes lets the bristles grow a bit before applying the clippers. This is usually before he visits his gran and I can understand why he reaches for the cutter.

When I were butter lad (© J-Man) I toyed with having a beard. My mother shot this idea down in flames. The woman don’t like facial hair, not even a Zapata tache passes mustard. She didn’t fancy Magnum one bit. Maybe it was the actor’s name, I don’t know. Anyway, she warned me if I grew one she would shave half of it off in the middle of the night. I figured she thought men with beards had “something of the night about them”.

Therefore, my father was always clean shaven. Sometimes I know he shaved twice in a day! Wilson’s Sword! I’m not jesting if I say he might have shaved three times just to break a record, as you do. His skin was like leather. I can still hear the rasping of the open razor as he filed away at his Adam’s apple. Not one cut on his face. I think the blade was more afraid. It screeched in agony.

Thankfully, and I blame the not so close electric razor for this, I can go through a few days without shaving. It is bliss to bask with a three day five o’ clock shadow on my boat race. The horror starts when mum pays a surprise visit.

Leicester

Richard III

When I were butter lad, Leicester was a boring city only 24 miles away on the wrong side of the Watling Street. Like my home town Coventry, it’s an unlovely product of Midlands industry with more success hitherto as a ‘rugger’ city; the Tigers are still a force in the pro game.

But now they play a bit of footie too, it seems. And celebrated Mark Selby’s 2nd snooker World title on the same day as the Foxes won the Premier League. Mark’s another Leicester lad.

So what? Well, not much really! Except it makes a change when provincial places grab the headlines innit?

Oh yes, and Richard III’s bones were discovered there! No more wintry discontent now!

Poor Britain

I have terrible news… Long-suffering Britain has to face yet another nightmare… From Tone Bliar to Gordon Brown to David Cameron to terrible storms and floods. Now, Britain faces a crisis of even greater proportions. You may have guessed it, but I am making a return visit this summer. From the 10th to 17th August I will subject Dorset to my reign of terror. On the night of the 17th I will be secreted by the Caledonian Sleeper to Fort William before travelling south to Glasgow for a few days. Brace yourselves!

Gory details

The obituaries columns in newspapers do throw up some interesting facts and sometimes not even about the deceased. Reading the Prince obituary in the Times last week it was revealed 2 me that on account of the sexualised lyrics on some of Prince’s music a new profanity police was created. It came in the guise of a similar looking woman to Mary Whitehouse. This being was the second lady of the United States (1993-2001), Tipper Gore, wife of the veep (same years or ditto), Al Gore. It was Tipper that instigated the “Parental advisory: explicit content” sticker that prevails on CDs to this day.

Well played, the Gores. Not content with saving the planet they also are trying to save the innocence of youth. Ironically, Prince toned down his act, curtailing swearing, and became a Jehovah’s Witness.

As for the Gores, they are a couple no more. Still, nothing compares 2 em. The ozone’s got his hat on and you need to prove you’re 18 before you can buy a Cannibal Corpse record; tip, tip, tip hooray.

Ho Hum

Ho hum. I finished my certification to be an English teacher today. I also have a confirmed departure date from Spain of 1 December 2016 with the destination of Stockholm. Where will I be in January? Will it be Russia? Will it be Japan? Will it be Taiwan or Indonesia? Who knows.

Trump aces it

Yes, he is gross and boorish; offensive and arrogant; uncouth and incorrigible, etc, etc…

But his foreign policy speech hits the mark, by pointing out that foreign policy is about establishing and protecting his country’s interests. A blinding flash of the refreshingly obvious!

So UKGov, please note. Enough already of mealy-mouthed false altruism, hand-wringing concern for distant beggars, the pretence that the world cares about the UK’s well-being.

Grow some, Cameron! Learn from Trump’s focus on what matters for us.