No, not tomorrow’s vote, Monday’s meeting in Nice between the rich kids of England and another, less feted team. Yes, Iceland.
It will be a win-win for the Davids, whatever the result. But for England it will not be a breeze; rather storm-force gales from the North.
Defeat should be unimagineable – but it isn’t, because as usual England are dithering, unable to stick to a plan worthy of their famous individuals.
Will Woy finally deliver? Who knows?
Our beloved country is a curate’s egg. (Consult google if in doubt.)
We have a parliamentary democracy (good?) that regularly disappoints (bad?). Be honest, when did we have a competent PM unsullied by dishonest proclamations?
More importantly, we have sports teams that make inconsistent look unbeatable! Today Wales are the best, England are their usual inscrutable (and Scotland?). Come on, N Ireland!
Milk and sugar, Vicar?
With the whole world now revolving around the times of 3pm CET, 6pm CET and 9pm CET important duties have to be sandwiched between the Euro 2016 games or discarded altogether. Discarsions, for me, have included no trampolining practice or parkouring. Other pieces of business have to be rushed. Blogging has been put on the Croatian flares backburner.
Then a window of opportunity presented itself. Right now.
Pass the open window
For it bodes ill
The sash could break
Your neck on its sill
Wanting it and wanting it now was the ‘eighties mantra – and things obviously haven’t changed at all, especially in the two fields that matter most to many people: politics and football. So let me mention a few prize-winners in the race to hang themselves this year.
First in politics, Dave and Donald. The Pied Piper should be their emblem. Follow them to oblivion, folks.
Then, inevitably football. Follow the money, guys. And now they’ve got everything they asked for, they must show us what they are worth. I mean the two Mancunian clubs and their new heroes, Pep and Jose.
This is probably going to be the year of pyrrhic victories, methinks.
They are easy to spot – but if you are in any doubt, here are a few naturals:
Boris, not Dave; Donald, not Hillary; Jose Mourinho, not Louis van Gaal; and long ago, JFK, not LBJ.
And if you still need proof, the Leith Lads showed their approval yesterday! And their opponents’ arch rivals will discover that their new manager, Brendan, doesn’t have it.
Peter Alliss may have a point! The wives of Muirfield golfers are extended privileges denied to other women – so that’s the obvious route for wannabe female members to follow! There are of course all-women clubs which men cannot join either and even marriage to a WI person will not get fellas access to its mysteries.
So is the fuss justified? Why do the Open authorities disapprove – I mean really? The said females can’t play in the Open either, can they, even if they beat all the men? (That’s different, I hear somebody say.)
Not being a golfer, Backside doesn’t understand but he’s sure some cherished 19th holers will help.
Call me queer but I’m sure society has lost its marbles.
The Nat Union of Students, always slightly bent, is demanding college accommodation should segregate LBTGwo’evah from er….others, presumably referring to what I call normal folk. (Go on, sue me.)
Why not segregate by colour, religion, football affiliation, hair colour, height, weight, dietary choice – oh and of course country of origin? Not to mention any other passing fad.
And bugger the education.
When I were butter lad, Leicester was a boring city only 24 miles away on the wrong side of the Watling Street. Like my home town Coventry, it’s an unlovely product of Midlands industry with more success hitherto as a ‘rugger’ city; the Tigers are still a force in the pro game.
But now they play a bit of footie too, it seems. And celebrated Mark Selby’s 2nd snooker World title on the same day as the Foxes won the Premier League. Mark’s another Leicester lad.
So what? Well, not much really! Except it makes a change when provincial places grab the headlines innit?
Oh yes, and Richard III’s bones were discovered there! No more wintry discontent now!
Marlon Samuels. He’s a bit of a character. Brandoesque.
For Elizabeth, St George and England!! For Shakespeare, the Commonwealth and Yorkshire pud!! For the Ashes, the Ryder Cup and the Six Nations!! It’s about pride (and prejudice), natural justice and common law!! It’s Spring, it’s cold and wet, it’s just the way it is!! England!!
Boadicea's Chariot 
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