Category: Sport

Seein’ as ‘ow my youngest is due to add Number Nine to the Janus clan in the Autumn, I feel qualified to comment on the theme of naming children, further aroused by the Beeb:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21229475.

Auntie (possibly wishing to avoid some nasty social aspersions being cast) seems to have missed out a very widespread reason for countries restricting the choice of names – RELIGION. Some countries allocate days to ‘holy’ names – so if you are born on 25th December you automatically become Christos/Christina (!); and although I confess to knowing almost nothing about Islam law, I have the impression that babies are only given ‘approved’ names.

What surprises me is that Denmark – otherwise notoriously free of constraint in almost every imaginable respect – has its own list, outside which a child may not be named. The religion or what’s left of it, is Lutheran but its tentacles still reach into daily life by awarding Spring days off work for General Prayer, Ascension and Whitsun respectively, promoting the Confirmation industry among greedy teens and, yes, forbidding one to ‘christen’ a baby with the Liverpool cup-winning team. So there’s the rub – what a pity their holiness doesn’t extend beyond their sanctified monikers!

In Britain of course the rich and famous persist in giving their offspring silly names, often of dubious gender and provenance, like themselves in many cases. But relax, friends, it’s all cyclical and soon the Johns and Joans will be rife amongst us again.