Category: Chips on Shoulders

Boxing Day

Boxing Day means different things to different folk – no longer a time for exchanging gifts after a day of prayer – and increasingly a time for manic shopping. (But never of course a time for organised fisticuffs, as some incorrectly conclude.)

But time was when (such an elegant phrase😑) the Upper Ten were wont to ride to hounds today, baying for blood, pink in coat and red in claw.

And regrettably the blood lust persists in these northern latitudes, in the pc guise of population control – of the hunted, that is. What the hunting fraternity do is ‘protect’ the deer against poachers and natural migrations, feed them and then send in posses of gunmen to shoot them down for sport. They claim to be trained marksmen but their prey occasionally survive and limp painfully towards a silent, hungry death. How we laugh!

Even though fox hunting with dogs in England is almost dead, stalking deer is alive and well in many countries. But who dares to rob the rich and famous (or the not-so-rich and bloodthirsty) these days? Robin Hood joined Labour and became a preacher.

Have a nice day, y’all!

Breaking Scotch News

Help me out here. Is it the Stoon of Scoon, the Ston of Scon or just the Stone of Scone a la Sassenachs?

OK. That’s settled then. Except the laddie wot nicked it in 1950 says we the British may not presume it will be available for the next coronation.

And before you say it, I blame Alex Salmond too. Personally I would insert it widthways into an appropriate fundament but that wouldn’t allow it to be returned to Westminster as Mr Major said.

All patriotic suggestions welcome.

Vox populi

Famous men (and women) and our fathers that begat us are never safe from censure as ideas evolve.

Back in the day (horrible expression) a scion of my college had his portrait re-titled ‘Haig the Butcher, 1 million dead’. The job was so professional that it was several weeks before it was spotted.

Now colonial torch-bearer Rhodes is the target; Oriel College has decided to disown his values.

‘And?’ you ask. Well, it’s a shame the facetwats can’t indulge their own prejudices without trying to rewrite history. Haig and Rhodes did important things, like them or not.

Holidays again

Today lots of Danes start 2 weeks off – hardly denting their 6+ weeks p a entitlement. Yes, it’s true – paid leave, I mean. And since Fridays are ‘short days’, they go off today to their ‘summer’ cabins or to the sun.

And that’s what socialist gubmints, egged on by powerful unions want. Of course in the private sector employers don’t always play ball; but that leaves more than half of workers here encouraged to milk the system – so it grinds to a halt now until mid-January, with some people taking ‘days owed’ from 2015.

I laughed out loud today, reading that, per Forbes, Dk is the best country to start a business. Yeah right! And die of frustration in half an hour!

 

 

Spell check mess

Proof readers were never fool-proof but editors now rely on blind electronics to check their texts.

So just yesterday I was treated to a corpse ‘lying prostate’. Well, it is in the dictionary. While the DT today advises that ‘the border force will compromise of…..’ thereby conflating two errors of syntax – one of which is getting ever more frequent, ‘comprise OF’ for ‘comprise’.

Do you get hot under the collar too?

Trump for the White House?

There’s enough hatred and irrational behaviour over there to make it possible.

Hillary is a shoo-in for the Democratic nomination but the Bewigged Bigot could well buy his way to the show-down. Then what?

I’m afraid that if contemporary events conspire with his paranoia, he’ll lead the Americans to war with Islam.

A crazy thought? Persuade me it is.

Flushed with success – eventually

No, seriously, it was a crisis! Suddenly our (cough) pipes of pan were blocked. In fact nothing would leave the bathroom at all. So I said to Mrs J, who was a girl guide before the Flood, ‘Doesn’t Arkela do it in the woods?’ If looks could kill.

Within a desperately long five hours (y’know how it is – when yer gotta go….), Monsewer Rasmussen drove up in his ‘normous tanker. In a trice he exposed our person-holes (very pc ‘ere, innit?), thrust his long black tube therein and sucked fit to bust, pointing out that we have a diameter problem; which was nothing we could fix without rebuilding the house. Apparently size is everything in his business. He could even smile, seeming happy with his lot.

So it all panned out well. I suppose we could have called the cops, but they’d have had nothing to go on.

Absolutely

Drought is a root cause of the Syrian war. It is an absolute truth uttered by our future King. As Thucydides, one of the early Greek chroniclers knew, causes have to be categorised. Some are climatic, others cultural, others political. So it would be helpful if responsible commentators could discuss the matter with HRH. But that’s easier said than done, given the 15-page contract broadcasters are required to sign before any interview.

Backside says, there’s no clever dick like a royal clever dick. Absolutely.

(The Indy and the Grauniad both cover this shamelessly republican tale.)

Motivated?

We have all worked in some capacity or other, sometimes with enthusiasm, sometimes with resignation (double entendre maybe).

Now I was once reminded by a (cough) Hun that getting a salary every month should be motivation enough. So with that in mind I’m always amazed that team coaches claim that a key part of their jobs is geeing up their charges. Sporting types being paid zillions of bucks need to be motivated to perform? How’s about their contracts including a clause like ‘perform commensurately with your rewards or butt out’.

Btw, Morten Olsen has just resigned from coaching the Danish footie team after 15 years. Did he ever motivate them to great success? Not noticeably, but maybe he knew all about silk purses and sows’ ears.