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Breaking Scotch News

Help me out here. Is it the Stoon of Scoon, the Ston of Scon or just the Stone of Scone a la Sassenachs?

OK. That’s settled then. Except the laddie wot nicked it in 1950 says we the British may not presume it will be available for the next coronation.

And before you say it, I blame Alex Salmond too. Personally I would insert it widthways into an appropriate fundament but that wouldn’t allow it to be returned to Westminster as Mr Major said.

All patriotic suggestions welcome.

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  1. sheona
    December 20, 2015 at 8:52 pm

    It’s the Stone, as pronounced by everyone, of Scoon, as pronounced by Scots. My complaint is mainly with the way you Sassenachs pronounce “scone” as in small edible teabread, which should be pronounced to rhyme with “thrawn”.

  2. December 20, 2015 at 11:54 pm

    The Stone of Scoon. Which, I should add, I’ve seen and have also visited Scone Palace.

  3. December 21, 2015 at 7:01 am

    May I call you peripatetic, nay ubiquitous, C?

    Sheona, we Southerners can’t agree how to say scone as in teabun thingy. Some say scon, others scone, nobody scorn. 😬

  4. December 21, 2015 at 7:27 am

    Janus: call me what you like. But I have not yet actually addressed the point of your post. A thief presumes to hold moral high ground ’cause Alba gu bràth or some-such. I have grown ever so slightly peeved at Nats. They wanted more autonomy, they received autonomy. They wanted a bleeding parliament, they received a bleeding parliament. They wanted a rudding* plebiscite on Scotland remaining a constituent country of the most successful union in the history of the world, the greatest country of all time and they received a rudding* plebiscite. The Union won and the Nats still whinge. There is nothing left but pettiness and pitiful attempts to poison the water. They ought to be told to get stuffed and then be summarily ignored.

    Ed. rutting and ruddy are both OK, but rudding?

  5. December 21, 2015 at 7:37 am

    The Nats have comprehensively proved their incompetence. Let them keep digging, say I.

  6. December 21, 2015 at 7:41 am

    Janus: furry ’nuff. Give them all the rope they want. I simply hope that they hang themselves before they cause further damage to Scotland and the United Kingdom.

  7. December 21, 2015 at 7:44 am

    Good morning, Sheona. Fit like, quinie?

    I now understand why jazz’s former workmate had difficulty being understood in Germany. It seems clear to me that the ‘education’ provided by the University of Aberdeen is so heavily influenced by the local Doric dialect as to make the English taught there pretty well incomprehensible to most of Scotland let alone to the rest of the world.

    There is no way that ‘scone’ rhymes with ‘thrawn’ for anybody with a good standard Scots tongue in their head. To those of us blessed with such a gift, the two words have about as much in common, pronunciation-wise, as do the relatively flat country to the South West of us and large cetacean mammals.

    The word rhymes with ‘gone’ for me and with ‘tone’ for the likes of Araminta and sic like Southrons when we’re having our tea. Wikipedia has the truth of it:-

    ‘I asked the maid in dulcet tone
    To order me a buttered scone;
    The silly girl has been and gone
    And ordered me a buttered scone’

    In any event we could save all this unnecessary confusion by giving things their correct names. The teacakes are bannocks and it is the Stone of Destiny.

    Or isn’t if you believe in the Blessed Prophet Alex (blame be upon him).

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/scotland/2136221/Stone-of-Destiny-is-fake-claims-Alex-Salmond.html

  8. sheona
    December 21, 2015 at 9:24 am

    A’ right, Johnnie? I don’t speak the Doric, though I can understand it. It did take me a while to work out Ian Rankin’s “Furryboots” though. In this season of goodwill, even to citizens of Edinburgh, I will overlook, though not necessarily forgive, your comments about the University of Aberdeen and simply state that I used the word “thrawn” quite deliberately.

  9. December 21, 2015 at 9:48 am

    Janus, it’s Scone with the wind. Happy Christlemass.

  10. December 21, 2015 at 9:50 am

    Er, excuse me? A scone is not a teacake – which is sweet and has dried fruit therein. A scone is not sweet but has to be made almost edible with jam and clotted cream. The extreme SW Celts have tried to hijack it and prefix the concoction with Cornish but as any fule kno (better?) scones did not originate there at all. See this erudite exposé: http://www.foodmag.com.au/news/origins-of-the-scone

  11. December 21, 2015 at 9:52 am

    John Mackie “….I now understand why jazz’s former workmate had difficulty being understood in Germany. It seems clear to me that the ‘education’ provided by the University of Aberdeen is so heavily influenced by the local Doric dialect as to make the English taught there pretty well incomprehensible to most of Scotland let alone to the rest of the world….”

    The lady in question had an Aberdonian accent but it was far from incomprehensible – what I would describe ( in a none patronising way ) as educated Scots……..a bit like Miss Jean Brodie, but not so affected.
    The thought of anyone speaking Doric to the Germans is quite amusing, they’d probably think it some strange form of Norse.

    Re. Scone.

    My mother who was upper middle class Southern English pronounced this, as JM says, as in ‘gone’, my father being Scots did the same.
    Pronouncing it as in bone is akin to calling a napkin a serviette, holding your knife like a pen or raising the ‘pinkie’ while drinking tea.

  12. December 21, 2015 at 9:52 am

    Akshully, PG, they do tend to exacerbate flatulence, I’m told. Is it the chemical additives, I ask?

    And a good yuletide to you as well!

  13. December 21, 2015 at 9:53 am

    jazz, take care: your slip is showing…….. 😉

  14. December 21, 2015 at 9:59 am

    And to fellow Southerners, if you wonder what Doric is: http://www.scotslanguage.com/The_Doric_uid72/A_Little_Doric_History

  15. December 21, 2015 at 10:27 am

    janus “…jazz, take care: your slip is showing….”

    It’s OK, I don’t wear a kilt.

  16. December 21, 2015 at 10:42 am

    Jazz, hahahaha! 😄 🍻

  17. December 21, 2015 at 11:08 am

    Good morning, Janus

    It is possible to get Doric language lessons online:-

  18. December 21, 2015 at 11:51 am

    When I was at sea working up north (cable ships and oil industry). We occasionally listened to the Scots fishermen yakking to each other on VHF. Completely incomprehensible ! Some form of ‘extreme Doric’.
    They spent so much time talking I’m surprised they caught any fish.

  19. December 21, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    JM, I thought Danish was hard…. 🎓

  20. Four-eyed English Genius
    December 21, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    Personally, I think that us English should swap the Scone of Stone as described by Terry Pratchett as the throne for the Dwarf King for the Stone of Scone. No-one would ever notice.!

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarfs_(Discworld)

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