Month: April 2016

Extreme justice

Anders Breivik, self-confessed Nazi mass-murderer, has won a court case against the ever-correct state of Norway. The food and living conditions are not up to snuff, as it were.

Not that the monster is likely to be treated very much differently in future.  Perhaps an M & S ready meal now and then, but certainly no ‘association’ with other inmates.

So was it worth the legal costs – not a krone paid by him, I’m sure? Even the purists must wonder.

 

Bucket List: Snickers to that one

While I can still run it crossed my mind to complete a marathon. Reasonably fit, for my age, with a bit of training the 26 miles would be a walk in the park for me. My feat would evoke envy in those runners that have the marathon on their bucket list. With the goal of outbucketing the bucketeers I prepared. I got as far as buying comfortable training shoes but after a few jogs I got phed up with dese and chucked them in the bin.

There’s no point in a marathon. Going pell-mell with the hoi polloi in the peloton, all those miles of torture just to fleetingly pass El Diablo and then there’s the side stiches.  Do it for charity not the glory, opined some. I do charity, I never pass a bucket in the street or shops without throwing in some loose drachma. You can do it in a chicken suit, opined others. οικόσιτα πτηνά, my left caruncle. Don’t spartan something you can’t finish, opined the do ‘ave ’ems. They were right, that’s what got this silly run going in the first place.

I blame the Persians. If only those ancient sons of Zoroaster could fight.

Grow a pair, Australia

I have never been so disappointed with my favourite country than I was this morning.

The background to this sorry tale is that last year one Amber Heard, current Sheila of actor Johhny Depp, smuggled two small dogs into Queensland on a private jet while he was filming for the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ franchise. Now Ozzies in general are a pretty easy going bunch, but one thing you most certainly do not do is take the rise out of their Customs and Border Protection Service, the consequences for which can be both life changing and eye-wateringly expensive.

On top of the smuggling charges charges dear Amber was also charged with submitting a false immigration declaration and pleaded guilty on all counts. However, the Queensland judge gave her a one-month good behaviour bond of 1,000 dollarooos (just over £500) with no conviction recorded. This amount is payable only if she breaks the bond (my italics).

The pair were also ordered to record a sincere apology, the result of which can be seen here True sincerity. Is it just me, or are these two taking the pish to epic levels and is there one law for s’lebs and another for ‘civilians’, as Liz Hurley once referred to those not on the red carpet?

What I do know is that some starstruck functionary in the Australian public service or the judiciary needs to grow a pair.

OZ

Welcome Back – Hands Across the M8

Those of you not fortunate enough to endure existence in Caledonia (stern and wild) under the benevolent and all-intruding rule of Wee Nippy (aka Mother Nicola)  probably don’t care very much about the football-related tribal strife which has, on occasion, stained our national name.

Wow. Just wow! That’s a whole paragraph with one sentence. Mind, I’m swithering a wee bit about whether it needs a comma after ‘wild)’ and ‘Nicola)’.

 Whatever!  Continue reading “Welcome Back – Hands Across the M8”

‘Twas ever thus and evermore shall be so

Politics has always been a mean and dirty business. It’s what makes historical tales of power and passion so fascinating. Think Caesar, the Plantagenets, the Tudors, the Kennedies….pick your favourites.

So of course the Brexit issue is a messy, manic business – even dirtier than the US primaries will become. So many individual reputations are at stake – but truth be told, little else. Yes, I mean it.

‘Markets’ will wobble, governments will fall and rise again, but otherwise Brexit will be less risky than Remain. Why? Because unelected oligarchies mean trouble, controlling economies without popular choice. Because for every Remain argument there is a balancing reply in the real, non-political world.

So there.

Reborn in the USA

The building designers of the future have their work cut out  if things carry on as they’re going. It’s all The Boss’ fault. Bruce Springsteen cancelled a concert in North Carolina over its “anti-gay” law.  The state law requires people to use public toilets that correspond to the sex listed on their birth certificates. Apple, PayPal and the Bank of America are amongst others criticising the law.

Supporters of the law said allowing transgender people to choose their restroom could lead to women and children being attacked. My proposal is that the only way to please everyone is by building more toilets. The current three outlets- men, women and disabled- are clearly not enough to cater for the modern world in all its legalised eccentricities. A separate toilet for the LGBT community should be introduced. Architects will be up all night figuring out the design for that one.