Faggots

Firstly let me make it absolutely clear that this post has absolutely nothing to do with Elton John, gay marriage, the adoption of babies by same sex couples, the B&B in Cornwall nor the ridiculous furore which has erupted this week over the Belfast bakery which refused to put “I love gays” or some such on their cakes. No, it’s about my mate Pete. Continue reading “Faggots”

In the Clouseau v Cato vein

A little diversion for the weekend.

Mrs W was out. While the cat’s away…

It had been ages since my son and I had wrestled. I waited until I could hear him opening the front door. Surprise was on my side and I lunged with a sliding tackle but he used a stiff-arm fend to push me back. And I was taken aback. What godforsaken sport has he been watching in his spare time?

“Too slow, Shirley Crabtree.”

Continue reading “In the Clouseau v Cato vein”

Enter the Gorgon

It was with great sadness that I said farewell to my oldest son as he recently moved out to live with his girlfriend/fiancée. Friends consoled me by stating that he’ll be back and actually the family will get bigger not smaller when they return with gobs of squabs of their own. That may be so but right now we are a man down. My sons and I like the same music, same TV shows and have a similar sense of humour. Neymar Jrs. Back, we sometimes even play in the same five-a-side team (I get the feeling I’m picked to make up the numbers. I’m only told there‘s a game on at the last minute).

So he’s gone and there’s space. Space. There’s a spare room. Continue reading “Enter the Gorgon”

The Indian Ocean

I drive alongside the Indian Ocean almost every day of my life.

I’m normally in the confines of our sheltered bay, I always marvel at the clear expanse of blue water, the many merchant ships going to and fro, the majesty of the cruise liners that occasionally dock and the many recreational boats enjoying a days sailing or fishing.

My travels often take me past the many miles of golden beaches, the promenades, the hotels and of course holidaymakers or locals simply having a good time.

Yesterday was different. Continue reading “The Indian Ocean”

Another of my loony tunes for the July competition

Happiness is a pint of beer

Happiness is a pint of beer
Although drinking it makes you feel queer
How can one possibly fail
To like the taste of the golden ale?

Is the glass of beer half full
As some will ask as you take a pull
Or is that glass half empty
As some of the others will imply?

The answer to that is so simple
It makes your smile show us your dimple
If you are drinking from the glass
It is half empty, since you ask.

Happiness is a pint of beer
Drinking it drives away all fear
The only time you may regret it
Is when you wake feeling very fetid!

The Babyface gang

That great escapist medium, Comic Books, has its flaws: regurgitated stories, invincibility of the heroes, predictability of plot lines. Where it does captivate and amuse can be in the startling array of varied villains that show up to take over the world or their little part of it. Sometimes the tale is only worthwhile if there’s a good baddie in it.

Bruce Springsteen wrote a song called “57 Channels (And Nothin’ On)” which ends with the protagonist firing a bullet from a .44 Magnum through the television set. Well yesterday I was zapping and powing through 500 channels and there was nothing on. The only magnum I had was an ice-cream. By this time I had buttoned in to the cartoon channels and found nirvana. The DC comics cartoon, The Brave and the Bold, was playing on CITV (Children‘s ITV). Continue reading “The Babyface gang”

Men in white coats

With their being no National Service anymore I have no experience of the military. While I could have enlisted voluntarily I preferred to be a civilian. This doesn’t mean I can’t daydream. And the best place to do this is in the dentist’s chair.

I haven’t been to the dentist for over a year, missing out on two regular six month check-ups. It’s not fear of Dr. Christian Szell that kept me away it was his frontline troops I couldn’t handle; the Checkpoint Charlie receptionists are a dour-faced lot. Continue reading “Men in white coats”

A new entry at Number Ten

It’s (What a start! Talk about courage) always good when one of our own crack the sky. Treading lightly at number 10 in the UK album charts alongside the company of leviathans such as Coldplay, Ed Sheeran, Lana del Rey and…Dolly Parton, are Mastodon, a progressive metal band from America with their new long player, Once More ‘Round The Sun.

I realise, of course, that older members might not care much for this type of music and wish that it were extinct like Harlan’s Muskox, The Tarpan or Toxodon. However, Mastodon are keeping the faith alive.
Play it Loud.