The Dark Side – Page 19 – Boadicea's Chariot

Dave’s day

Pigs and flies take on a whole nuther dimension. But hey! Who hasn’t been embarrassed by reminders of student indiscretions? I know Backside has.

And luckily for Dave, Rebekkah is back in town, ready I’m sure to rejoin his Cotswold country supper set. Lol. So look out for more local goss, old chap.

Meanwhile the arch chav, Jerry, can’t help little Nicola with her CND revival, but ironically gives the Scottish labourites some ammo to fight her with. (Sorry about the preposition at the end there, Boris.)

And over in NY NY Dave’s leading the Syrian Peace Corps, with the help allegedly of our new mates, Iran, and Putin, suddenly everyone’s best friend.

More pigs and flies, Dave? Probably.

Alles ist nicht in Ordnung

How could VW engineers ever imagine they could hoodwink the American market with fake emissions results?

If ever there was an example of the mighty falling, this is it! VW Group ads here recently have even managed to underline their leadership with ‘Germans do not make jokes’ – a tag-line that I suspect is now verboten.

The auto industry worldwide struggles with recalls but this is surely the biggest b*ll*ck ever dropped. Quite a feat for a firm to lose market value worth $20 bn – or twice the total value of the French rival Peugeot!

Ziz is ze Wnterhorn of our discontent, nicht Wahr? Hehehehe

I’m a catfish

In webspeak, that is. Old Backside and I, his ever-controlling head prefect, are conning you all into buying our ginormous pile of ordure; leading you up the proverbial garden path, as it were; painting a portrait which might not be a reflection of reality.

I recall that some years ago I appeared at the Big House purporting to be a young ballet dancer learning flamenco in Iberia; family in Surrey, etc., etc. and quite a few correspondents chose to befriend me. It was frighteningly simple to become a persona. When I owned up, some were less than complimentary; others disappointed.

Here on the chariot we are so few that it’s had to imagine any of is a simulacrum, to use an old word. But maybe we have the odd catfish lurking in the shadows? I wonder.

PC again

Last week it was a politician being rebuked for comparing disabled with ‘normal’ folk for the purposes of employment. This week Snow White is making an appearance on stage but friends have to take the place of dwarves.

Is the norm – in any social context – no longer a suitable topic for comment? Are we not allowed to refer to any less usual combination of attributes except by avoiding mention of the usual?

The trouble is that a significant number of common English adjectives is now outlawed: blind, deaf, crippled, etc., unless euphemisms replace them. Which ironically takes us back to the reign of Victoria, when so many conditions were unspeakable.

I am not proposing offensive bluntness. Just a proper understanding that censorship tends to have effects quite opposite to those intended. Calling a spade a coloured person doesn’t advance the cause of integration.

Wild captions, please

Rewilding

Apart from the horror of the word, let’s pause to consider the sheer madness involved in reintroducing species which man deliberately wiped out long ago.

I like the article’s final line: ‘The Scottish government has said there are no plans to reintroduce large predators’.

But what about fish? The little Sturgeon is quite enough, thank you; not to mention the untameable Salmond.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/rewilding-reintroduction-extinct-species-back-to-britain-will-be-enormous-challenge-study-finds-10478370.html

At long last

My fifteen year old granddaughter has her GCSE results – excellent stuff, luv!

Over here, the silence of the beechwoods will be shattered by the attentions of 200 bikers who can’t resist temptation to camp nearby.

But summer has also appeared!

So we’re off for the weekend. Seeya!

Not so blamelesss

The fragrant Valerie Hobson has always been cast as a victim, the ever-loyal wife of the errant politician, John Profumo. And good-time-girl Christine Keeler has been presumed guilty of being a conduit for state secrets between Profumo and Ivanov, a Russian spook.

But soft! See today’s Indy. It was Valerie who allowed Ivanov access to the study where secrets lay open to view.

Fascinating innit, when the evidence is finally revealed.

But enough…..

…..of sparring with unworthy opponents.

What about the disintegration of the Labour movement back home?

The party will soon revert to its grass roots policies – public ownership and the redistribution of wealth – which Bliar abandoned, in favour of personal fame and fortune.

Do we care? Yes, if it means alliances with other madcap parties to name but the SNP.

Let’s face it, most sane voters reject ideologs. Practical politics works better.

Howzat?

No matter if our Caledonian prophet of doom manages to jinx our lads and they snatch defeat from the jaws of Nike, nothing can spoil the memory of 60 all out. A new meaning for down under perhaps. The day Extras top-scored. Enough ducks for a feeding frenzy. Let’s fill our white boots.

Ben Stokes celebrates