Author: janus

I'm back......and front - in sunny Sussex-by-the-sea

Sporting pleasure

Back in the woods I’m quietly enjoying the weekend’s events. The Blacks bossed the Walabies, The Special One lost again and blamed everyone except himself and England took five early wickets.

The Janus clan graced the cinema on Thursday to catch up with Bond and throroughly enjoyed it. The mums drooled over James and Backside got hot under the collar about his latest squeeze. The film ticked all the boxes to qualify as a worthy 007 event – a kind of sport in its own right.

So let’s sit back and see if Pakistan will collapse, Lewis will win and Sunderland can get a point. Enjoy.

 

Court banquet

Y’see, Christina will be back soon, perhaps while I’m still conducting my family census in the home counties, dontchya know?

Now before she left for Cymru she let on that she’d be (and I quote) having a lawyer for lunch. From anyone else that would be a chance remark but from CO, our maitraisse d’hotel, it certainly heralded some serious cuisine.

Musing on’t, I reckon she’ll get him in a stew. Perhaps a glass of (old) Baileys as aperitif; traditional porridge to start with, served in chambers – rounded off with lashings of cream.

Any ideas for more courses?

Coin a word

We all use wellingtons, cardigans and hoovers; we bowdlerise and boycott; and use spoonerisms and malapropisms.

Now’s your chance to sanctify somebody you love or hate or simply ignore. Use a name to capture their essential qualities.

I’ll start you off, with a couple of shoe-ins:

A pompous bullying bore: a clarkson.

A mendacious hypocritical self-seeker: a blair.

To piggy-back and exploit another’s success: to hillary.

To get out of jail free: to oscar.

Over to you, coiners!

 

Department of meaningless surveys

The Danes just lurv to find out how well they rate against other countries. The obsession evinces itself every time a commentator spews forth his/her analysis of Denmark’s teams’ performance: ‘Less then world class’, ‘One of Europe’s best’, etc.

And now there’s this:

Click to access rankings_2015.pdf

Bet you didn’t realise that the US of A ranks 90th after Timor-Leste and before Morocco in economic globalisation! Nor did I. Overall the Yanks just beat Slovenia!

Good, ain’t it?

Bags

Brit stores are charging 5p per plastic bag. Big deal.

People are too lazy to change their habits – not just in GB. They’ll try to nick a basket (until it’s tagged).

Over here in DK, the bags are min. 25p! And people still buy them! So what is the solution? Biodegradable bags maybe?

PS we keep a couple of strong cardboard boxes in the car and take them into the store. Easypeasy.

When in Rome

When Arabs live in Britain we are careful to advise them that our rules apply. They are not allowed to do many things they believe to be ok per their ‘home’ rules.

A Brit who has (condescendingly?) ‘dedicated’ his last 25 years to his job in Saudi, has been caught with home-brew wine and seems likely to suffer for it.

Why did he do it? He can’t claim ignorance of the rules. Maybe he’s always flouted them. But one thing is certain, he shouldn’t complain.