…and thicker

Squeeze the facts to fit the goal – and yes, your bum does look big when you do!

There’s a self-styled voice of reason in the Olde Countrie called the committee for the protection of rural England or CPRE for short. Its latest protest concludes that the major road projects over the past few decades have failed to the extent that they have increased the traffic on the roads affected!

I’m tempted to write ‘d’oh!’ But Backside is otherwise imprisoned today so here’s a more reasonable response.

They cite the Newbury bypass as evidence. Now I remember it from before it was installed – a legendary bottle-neck in Newbury town which held up north/south traffic every day. Of course the CPRE is correct, the traffic was diverted and the town recovered. And the traffic entered rural Emgland’s holy portals. But more traffic? Unlikely. Why suddenly drive around remote villages? Maybe a few white vanmen enjoyed careering along ‘short cuts’ but they’ve always done that.

I must consign the CPRE to its fate as a special interest group we cannot rely on!

 

Thick

I had the misfortune of reading yet another dishonest and misleading AP article about the status of EEA nationals in the United Kingdom post-liberation. Were the tone not so predictable I’d almost laugh. These articles usually have a few stock characters fearing for their futures. That the British government has already committed to securing a permanent legal status for them is entirely irrelevant. Nor is it seemingly relevant that the British government has proposed new laws to allow EEA nationals to move to the United Kingdom with a job offer with the explicit understanding that they will not qualify for benefit. Continue reading “Thick”

Tartan Knickers in a Twist

As soon as this evening the Lords might accept the inevitable and send the Government’s Brexit Bill to Her Maj for the royal assent. Which is a good thing. For the next two years the British government, the governments of European states and the EU will have to hammer out the details of the United Kingdom’s withdrawal from the European Union — uncharted waters. Continue reading “Tartan Knickers in a Twist”

Try to keep up

I realised how out of touch I am when one of my young clan emailed me on my birthday, ‘Haps baps Gramps!’ A swift google informed that’s how the incrowd say it these days.

But senility apart, I’ve always been fascinated by dialect expressions, from Cockney slang to common or garden terms. All my grandparents (b. 1878 – 80) used them constantly. ‘Be said!’ ‘It’s a new gansey.’ ‘Give it some elbow grease!’ ‘I’ve got it fast here.’ ‘They’re gilli flowers.’ ‘Give me a dollop o’ that.’ It’s really taters out.’

Still awake? OK – show me yours!