Worlds Apart

There was orange peel all along the mantelpiece. Not so much ‘S’-shaped orange peel, more ‘C’ shape as if Auntie hadn’t the strength to peel a whole orange in one strip. Her hands were arthritic and she was in her eighties at that time, though still fairly tough and resourceful, making her own envelopes and birthday cards and chopping her own firewood. But the orange peel was something else. When we questioned her she said it was for the fire. I guess it was some kind of fuel. Besides the orange peel, there were two or three candles on the mantelpiece. Auntie didn’t like to waste electricity. In fact, auntie didn’t like to waste anything.

Her nephews would visit her two or three times a year and would usually find old food in the refrigerator, food long past its sell by date. Auntie used to treat her nephews to dinner and tea but that was before she began to get dementia.

Continue reading “Worlds Apart”

Clouds and stuff

Share my delight, dear charioteers! The cumulo-nimbus græcus has a silver sterling lining, which some of us expats in countries which are euro-friendly will appreciate – in every sense of the word.

Since almost 3 years ago my poor little pound has bounced uncomfortably on the bottom, down as much as 15%, but now it has leapt up again, as financiers desert the two-tier euro.

Thanks are also due to M. Hollande – who plans to lash out on golden growth for the froggies – spending with gay abandon (no, I know he’s not) the euros he doesn’t have.

While our Ange is not for turning. Hold tight onto that handbag, Ms. Merkel!

You won’t believe this but…….

Given that the Anthropogenic Global Warming scammers are retreating rapidly on all fronts, there is still a group of scientists trying to convince the world that animals greatly affect the climate. This time we are not talking recent history, but prehistory and then some.

Some scientists are claiming that during the Mesozoic Era, there was a period of global warming on Earth caused by dinosaurs farting!!! What about that big shiny thing in the sky, then?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/17953792

The Cuckoo

An interesting article in today’s Telegraph about the cuckoo. The bird is not native to this country it originates in Africa and flies here in the spring and returns to the African continent for most of the year.

As the missus and I were having our elevenses she said “I wonder why the cuckoo flies from Africa to here just to lay it’s eggs, what is so special about the British Isles”. This set me thinking in my normal warped way.

Now let’s look at this from a human perspective.

The bird does not live here and is an immigrant.

It comes here and finds a ready FREE nest to lay it’s eggs in; resulting in the native bird population to raise the cuckoos brood.

The bird gets free food while it is here.

The cuckoo’s only contribution to the economy of the bird population is that it is very vociferous and you can hear its cuckoo for miles as it rants about something or other.

The nestling destroys the native bird chicks and takes everything free from its host.

My how humans from other countries have copied that model here in the UK.

See we can learn from nature.

Short Story – ‘Magical Thinking’ for Bilby

Magical thinking

I come downstairs just as the girls are ready to go out – they had spent so much time getting ready and now I can see the end result of their ‘finery’ – their hair, the fake tan, the spiders’ legs coatings of mascara. All that time and money does not disguise their thickened waists. Rowena at 5’11” is taller than me, just, but in her 4” stiletto heels she towers above me, and Angelica is wearing thigh-high black boots and a very short leather skirt, of the type I have heard described as a pussy pelmet. I didn’t understand how Melinda could let them go out like that. Since I only assumed the role of step-father just as they were going into their teens I have never felt I have any authority over these girls and they treat me with disdain.

Melinda arrives in a gush of exuberant compliments.  She can’t wait to see her darlings before they go out and I can so clearly see the similarity between her and her daughters: the coarseness and petulance if everything doesn’t go their way. Of course in the early days I couldn’t see that, smitten as I was, still grieving for my first wife.

The girls call me Albert.

“Hey, Albert,” said Rowena, “What d’ew think?” She strikes a pose.

“Will you be warm enough?” I ask her, “without a coat?”

Three pairs of eyes are raised to the ceiling and I shrug as I pick up my newspaper. Continue reading “Short Story – ‘Magical Thinking’ for Bilby”

Forget-me-not

“Oh, no!” said Cyclo, “I’ve found a packet of seeds. Forget-me-nots. Have you forgotten to plant them?”

Haha!
The seeds were from the Alzheimer Disease Society: a freebee. A nice idea, but I didn’t need them.

My garden is full of Forget-me-nots which flower freely Continue reading “Forget-me-not”