Boadicea's Chariot

Here is my meagre entry. Just about Still Life. Some delicious apples from our local staff-owned supermarket (No, not the Co-op!) with a picture af another one, just before I ate it, on my new toy, a Nexus 7.
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Wow!  Fancy being accorded the accolade of indecency at the right old age of 64!  Chance would be a fine thing!  When you see the selection round here forget it!  Now then, in Wales I still have a couple lined up but they are on a promise for next lifetime not this!  I only ever did sequence not parallel!

I have been far too busy being inhuman this week to bother with silly nonsense.  I am part of the community garden above, here we have our own patches and a communal food bank area to feed a few deserving but mostly the feckless, parasitic and undeserving flotsam of the County.  On the principle that I really do object on elf and safety grounds to people dying of starvation in the gutter, they are so very visually unappealing, I grudgingly give my time and expertise to the project to see them kept tidily fed in their hovels and off the streets!  We were having a tea party to say thank you to all the volunteers and donors that help make the project the success it is.

Apart from that I had an annual committee meeting of a garden club of which I am refreshment officer.  Not much chance of being indecent there though but I have hopes for inhumanity by considering offering hemlock as an alternative to coffee.  (Not that most of them would notice, already dead from the neck up, might as well help along the rest of them!)

On top of that the veg collected from my patch needed processing.  Those aubergines, toms and peppers all came from the polytunnel on the community garden and were converted into  mass moussakas, not for the masses of course, far too good for them, suggest they try Denmark instead!  Plus converting home grown cucumbers to pickles.

So, all in all, a very busy time.  This afternoon I shall carry, as I always do every week, a basket of my veg to the widow of my last hospice patient.  She is 85 with a wicked tongue, hates Indians (red) and lives on the edge of the reservation, she taught Nooksack Indians for 50 years so we have very amusing conversations.  I only hang around the hospice to do wonders for my inhumanity!

PS  Those tomatoes, the basil and lots of other veg are raised by me, I raise them at home under heat but they do better down there on the plain to crop.  Quite what the undeserving do with so much basil is quite beyond me!  Noticing how many brats they breed probably use it as an aphrodisiac!  (Note to self must dust with itching powder!)

I’m afraid I fell about laughing when I heard this one.

Exporting the NHS, to whom? Who would want it? Don’t they know that when people are paying for direct services they actually want service?  The first world already has better facilities and the third world can’t afford to pay anyway.  Do they seriously think that people will pay good money without a clean private room and bathroom ensuite? People who pay are used to getting direct specialist services without the intervention of GPs and quickly, like the next week latest.  As paying customers they expect fast, polite, efficient service and their choice of good food on an a la carte basis.  Can you actually see the NHS providing that little lot?

I swear I think those bloody olympics have caused brain damage!  Should they wish to export anything like the NHS it might be a good idea if they perfected the brand on the indigenous population first! At the moment they would be up to their necks in malpractice claims in the first week alone!  It seriously gives one the twitch even thinking about it, positively gob smacking in it’s idiocy!

DIVORCE vs MURDER

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.” The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he explained, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband, that’s against the law? I’ll lose my licence! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied …

“You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”