Author: janus

I'm back......and front - in sunny Sussex-by-the-sea

The Marmite of the retail sector

Love them or hate them, M & S commands respect in the biz community. Like coriander in the kitchen perhaps.

I recall just what a demanding time we had whenever as suppliers we were summoned to Baker Street to field ultra detailed questions about our product’s performance in their stores. Any justifiable consumer grouse had to be reimbursed five-fold.

But hey! I hear Backside retort, that was all nearly 50 years ago; although I doubt anything has changed.  So I’m impressed with Cameron’s choice of Stuart Rose, ex M & S boss of renown, to chair the campaign to stay in the EU. Just as Maggie the Great chose an earlier Baker St. Boss to mastermind her slimming of the overfed Civil Service 30 odd years ago.

So when I pop back home later this month, I’ll do homage to St. Michael and top up with hanks and socks, my kind of Marmite and coriander you might say.

Wannabe happy?

I am shocked to read that of all the places expats like to decamp to, Mexico and Russia star in the top ten! The rest seem reasonable choices. But why those two at all? I mean really?

I confess to knowing a bit about Mexico from a family connection over 30-odd years; and my information includes stuff about corruption and feudal attitudes. And how come the Russian social life is so appealing? Any suggestions?

http://www.bbc.com/capital/sponsored/story/20150916-the-12-happiest-destinations-for-expats

Only when I laugh

It’s the pain, doctor.

Where exactly, Janus?

Just here (pointing to heart).

And when do you get it?

Whenever I watch English teams play.

So it’s home-sickness then, the call from home?

No. That’s a sweeter feeling, like hearing I’m to be a grandpa for the 10th time.

Congratulations then! But back to the pain?

Yes. What’s the cure?

Get rid of the sports channels. Watch Danish tv. You’ll feel no emotion whatever and sleep extremely well. That’s the true meaning of ‘hygge’ (pron. hew- ga)!

Typical

Over in the Fens, at that inferior tech known among the cognoscenti as The Other Place, punting is under threat. ‘Elf and Softy are at work to render the extreme pleasure of messing about in flat boats totally anodyne.

If you have never tried navigating with the aid of a very long wet pole while standing on the rear end of an unruly craft, you can’t appreciate the sheer folly involved. A state of inebriation is the only guarantee of success – together with the presence of a beautiful young passenger of course, gazing admiringly at one’s prowess.

Punters henceforth will be breathalised before embarcation and warned that non-swimmers must wear life-vests. Water allegedly is…..well, wet and speeding (are you kidding?) is dangerous for all river users.

So my advice is decamp toute suite to the Cherwell, where no holds are barred and the age of waterborne chivalry is alive and risky as ever.

 

Dave’s day

Pigs and flies take on a whole nuther dimension. But hey! Who hasn’t been embarrassed by reminders of student indiscretions? I know Backside has.

And luckily for Dave, Rebekkah is back in town, ready I’m sure to rejoin his Cotswold country supper set. Lol. So look out for more local goss, old chap.

Meanwhile the arch chav, Jerry, can’t help little Nicola with her CND revival, but ironically gives the Scottish labourites some ammo to fight her with. (Sorry about the preposition at the end there, Boris.)

And over in NY NY Dave’s leading the Syrian Peace Corps, with the help allegedly of our new mates, Iran, and Putin, suddenly everyone’s best friend.

More pigs and flies, Dave? Probably.

Alles ist nicht in Ordnung

How could VW engineers ever imagine they could hoodwink the American market with fake emissions results?

If ever there was an example of the mighty falling, this is it! VW Group ads here recently have even managed to underline their leadership with ‘Germans do not make jokes’ – a tag-line that I suspect is now verboten.

The auto industry worldwide struggles with recalls but this is surely the biggest b*ll*ck ever dropped. Quite a feat for a firm to lose market value worth $20 bn – or twice the total value of the French rival Peugeot!

Ziz is ze Wnterhorn of our discontent, nicht Wahr? Hehehehe

The first tv commercials

Backside et moi, we were 12 sixty years ago when ITV first appeared, gracing our 12″ b & w telly.

I recall ads for the TV Times – a household must now, with two national channels!

Otherwise which brands stick in the furthest recesses of the old memory? Cigarettes. ‘You’re never alone with a Strand.’ Was that on the box? ‘You’ll wonder where the yellow went, when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent!’ That was. Hamlet cigars. Black Magic chocs. And probably some more when I’ve had a couple of pints.

What do you remember? 😏

Deadly designer

Danish telly eventually offers interesting stuff. Today it was the tale of Hardy Amies of whom it has often been said. And it’s true. But did you know he was an SOE hitman in WWII? OK, you did. But did you know I worked with him on his interior decor range in the 70s? No, you didn’t.

He was an ultra polite, rather uptight man who seemed, if anything, not superior but guarded, for all his talent. With a fascinating cv – see wiki.