Over in the Fens, at that inferior tech known among the cognoscenti as The Other Place, punting is under threat. ‘Elf and Softy are at work to render the extreme pleasure of messing about in flat boats totally anodyne.
If you have never tried navigating with the aid of a very long wet pole while standing on the rear end of an unruly craft, you can’t appreciate the sheer folly involved. A state of inebriation is the only guarantee of success – together with the presence of a beautiful young passenger of course, gazing admiringly at one’s prowess.
Punters henceforth will be breathalised before embarcation and warned that non-swimmers must wear life-vests. Water allegedly is…..well, wet and speeding (are you kidding?) is dangerous for all river users.
So my advice is decamp toute suite to the Cherwell, where no holds are barred and the age of waterborne chivalry is alive and risky as ever.
Boadicea's Chariot 
Blimey what are things coming to, Janus?
Are they trying to change the Light Blues into a bunch of wimps?
It’s so long since they won the Race that they’ll try any diversion tactics available. ‘Elf and Softy on the tideway too? 😎
The implications are horrendous! Hard hats for oarsmen, airbags for dinghies, breathalisers for all water-users!
Yes, laugh if you like, but when exactly did a Cam punter get into trouble?
Not sure the Cherwell will be safe for much longer. I don’t like this trend …
http://www.independent.co.uk/student/no-offence-magazine-banned-by-oxford-university-students-union-because-it-may-cause-offence-a6674311.html
Btw, I take it that the “inferior tech” you refer to in the Fens is Anglia Ruskin “university” which has us giggling every time we arrive in Cambridge.
Er no, Sheona. Not that one, the other! 😎
I despair! Taking risks is part of the fun of living – or it should be.
Boa, yes. There is a substantial risk with punting that the poleperson will look a complete prat!
Good punting on the Henley reach of the thames. We used to have a punt moored at Phyllis Court. Always tickled me.to see the rental ones come to grief. Unfortunately the Thames has a sticky bottom there and quite deep, a regular sight was people clinging to poles detached from their punt, sliding slowlyinto the deep!
Splendid stuff. You didn’t have to be pissed to come a cropper with that one!