How in God’s name can a 78 year old be dragged off by the pigs on a murder charge when defending himself and his home?
So some lowlife gets hoist on his own petard, in this case a lowly screwdriver, and snuffs it. Jolly good, one less piece of lowlife, give the guy a medal who achieved it, certainly not a murder charge. Ironically it was the pensioner himself who called the pigs, pity he didn’t just drag the corpse out into the gutter and leave him there!
The Corona float delivered pop door-to-door. We paid a deposit on the bottles and were reimbursed when we returned them to the pop-man a week later. Then shops and plastics and cans took over the pop trade, deposits were forgotten and the rest, as they say, is detritus. Continue reading “When I were a lad……”
Unlike, say, Exorcists, hypnotists are for real. There’s no way the charlatan mesmeriser can put so many pre-planned plants on the stage. Like the bodysnatchers of old they’d run out of bodies. Ergo(es my reason for living), hypnotism must be a genuine article. That being the suitcase, this means we can all be mind benders, if we put our mind to it.
Corrupt hypnotists
All walks. It has to be said that if there was an upsurge in the hypnotist community a roguish element would take foot and mouth and hand and Adam’s apple. These non-Marquess of Queensbury rules hypnotists would indulge in all manner of crimes: robbery, humiliation, blog post manipulation. The world would be their Facebook. Luckily, the gift of hypnotism is limited to a less few humanoids.
Instant Kaa ma
I’ve tried and tried to hypnotise without success. My human hypnotees, in pity, shake their heads at me as I fail to make them recite a Loony Limerick. In desperation, I turn to inanimate objects and will the clock (i.e. hypnotise the clock, not the clock is called Will) to go an hour forward. I stare at the face of the time machine. Look me in the eyes. Right in the eyes. Come closer. Closer still..
. . . and never allowed to play for Australia again
The cheek of the man!
He’s blatantly guilty of pre-planned ball-tampering and yet he says he won’t resign. How dare he be so arrogant? He must be immediately removed by CA from the captaincy and from the team. Forever!
Australia has always prided itself on not cheating – that’s a reputation that will take years to re-establish. On any home ground, Smith will be booed off, I’m sure.
I’m also inclined to the view that the “leadership group”, whoever they are, should also be banned from playing in their country’s colours ever again, whatever that does to our chances of winning international matches. Actually, they’re not all that hot at the moment and there are plenty of young (and not so young) state cricketers ready to take their place.
On behalf of Australian Cricket, I apologise for the deplorable behaviour of our National Cricket Team and its ex-captain.
Sob!
. . . actually, I couldn’t care fewer 😉
Most Charioteers have at least one favourite grammatical rule, even if they’re not fully paid-up grammar tragics like Janus or me.
It’s not one of my personal bêtes noires, but I am aware that the rules governing the use of less and fewer are dear to the hearts of one or two of our company, and when the occasion arises I’m usually happy to grin, nod sagely and let them get on with it.
But I was fascinated to discover this article, which I reckon is a gem of its type. Perhaps you’ll think so too. 😎
We need a fresh horse for the Chariot
So I’m stalking my prey with my lariat.
When I’ve tracked the beast down
And we’ve hacked back to town
I’ll need bacon and eggs at the Marriott.
Now it’s your turn!
He has a strange name. He should be a diarist* with a name like that. He is? Oh, sorry, Q. Anyway, he rang a few of my bells with his thoughts in today’s DM.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5503019/QUENTIN-LETTS-lists-linguistic-pet-hates.html.
I’d add a common pleonasm people employ,as follows: ‘They both attended the same school.’ Just one will do, dear.
I bet my reader seethes over a few common malapropisms too.
* Didn’t you have a Letts diary as a youngster?
Don and Kim’s unprecedented head-to-belly calls for some creative thought. Geneva won’t do – because the boy went to school nearby. Singapore is too, well, Asian. So for me, that leaves Cuba, which has all the requisites for a world title fight. History, communism, cigars, Gitmo (the honey-pot destination for serial-killers) – and proximity to Florida for the inevitable round of golf. Don claims to play off nine; no doubt matched by Kim’s as-yet-unpublished handicap. Cuba will also enable Don to show off his perhaps limited Spanish vocabulary, upstaging the (allegedly) polyglot Korean. Covfefe, por favor, barista. And Ladies and Gentlemen, your Master of Ceremonies for this headline bout is none other than the darling of the media, winner of the Nobel Prize and everybody’s best friend, Barack Obama! Enjoy!
It will probably end in tears.
As a nation, we Jocks are terribly good at being plucky/gallant/unlucky losers. We also get robbed far too often. In my opinion. Continue reading “Hubris”
Over four months have gone by since the last Hunnish election. At last, Hunland has a government. It will be another grand coalition. Despite having earlier misgivings, the Swamp Beast former EU “Parliament” President, Marty What’s-it caved in after extracting key cabinet positions. The Social Democrats will get the foreign ministry and finance. Merkel will be re-elected Chancellor by the Bundestag next week and will will go on as normal. Or it won’t… Despite being a grand coalition, this time there are far fewer seats. After all, both parties saw a marked decline in support. On all three sides of the coalition there are grave misgivings. Continue reading “It’s Not Over”
Boadicea's Chariot 
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