Category: General

For the blessed Fumada

Aka that damned cat!

ImageYou may remember that Oz’s cat took to his new jumper and misappropriated it as a new sleeping blanket?  Fortunately I had a couple of ounces left and some other stuff, eh voila, a new cat blanket.  Needless to say I have not actually uttered these heretical words in this canine orientated household.  Hairy horrible hound denizens would wreak havoc at such betrayal!!

NOW OZ, what we/I want is to see you in your new jumper and the cat on her blanket in a picture. Get to it!

My God, Christmas presents for cats, I’m truly in my dotage!

I wonder……

I wonder how many Gigawatts of electricity were generated yesterday by all the glorious peoples’ windmills during the storm?

The answer, I suspect, is not a lot, as they cannot work in high winds and even if they do, can overload the grid so have to be shut down. Al Gore and Wavy Davy have a lot to answer for!

 

BTW, after all this humbug, Happy Christmas to all our Charioteers! 🙂

Can I claim it on expenses?

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a police officer comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The policeman was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen MP’s lined up waiting for a free haircut.

Dummies

Ha ha, I’d love to buy this guy a drink.

How on earth do you stand there for how many hours next to an untold number of V.I.P’s and not burst out laughing?

Where on earth were the C.I.A, M.I.5 or is it 6? This guy could have … who knows?

My daily read today tell me that the A.N.C employed him, they of course deny this and point the finger at our very own S.A.B.C. who’ve made it quite clear that they have their own signers in a separate studio (which I believe.)

My newspaper also reports that “The Deaf Federation of South Africa said it has warned the A.N.C about the man more than a year ago after a member complained.”

It was apparently all unintelligible gobbledygook, but surely he could have been signing “let’s declare war on China” or ” I never really knew Madiba but … ” the possibilities are endless.

Anyway, one national newspaper claims to know his name, if they read this buy him a beer on me 🙂

Flights of fancy

Cameron and Clegg are on a plane journey,when Cameron says

“You know, I could throw £1000 note out the widow rght now, and make someone very happy”

“Ah ha” says Cleggie “I could throw ten £100 notes out of the window right now and make ten people very happy”

Pilot turns to the co-pilot and says

“We could throw the two of them out the window right now and make thirty million people very happy”