Thank you for your entries, FEEG, Janus and JW. I smiled and chuckled my way through your imaginative, charming and hilarious poems. Each one was a winner in my book, but in the end I decided that Janus had the edge for the invention of the deliciously naughty Miss ANGELICA CINNAMON BUNN.
Congratulations, Janus! 🙂
Get that bikini top back on and think p-o-m-e-s! The Muses deserve some attention, even when the English weather is so unseasonal.
A certain Mandy Rice-Davies is alleged to have coined the oft-quoted question during the infamous (but juicy) Profumo trial 50 years ago; and the man himself had already averred in Parliament that there had been ‘no impropriety whatsoever’. But the papers relating to the Denning Report which wound it all up are still not available for us to slaver over, presumably because there are still some Great and Good chaps around whose reputations might fade in the glare of exposure. http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/jul/18/simon-hoggart-sketch-profumo-scandal-lords .
It’s all very nostalgic for me too.
The T-Rexes weren’t so tough, couldn’t get it on
One little cold spell and they bit the dust
Survival of the fittest and the Herbivores won
We warmed to the Ice Age while the rest went bust
So me and Barry the Bronto, the last of our breeds
We’re never in one place, we roam from jungle to forest
with a hup two, three, four, dress it up, two, three, four
Searching for a verbosari or two to nibble for breakfast
And then we espy a gringomere herb that we’ve not tasted in years
Jurassic Park! There’s a girl using it as a sun bed
And she’s got a hundred and one guardians around her
Times like this us herbies wish we were T-Rexes instead
While cleaning out my old blogs I came across this. This is a slightly revised version and didn’t we all love revision.
*****
The plethora of teenage slasher movies in recent years are all based on the true story of a mysterious assailant who targeted schoolchildren in a Scottish school circa 1982. All of the following is true.
One of the perks given to the fifth and sixth year pupils in the comprehensive was that they could take their lunch in the games room far away from the pell-mell. The games room had comfortable chairs that ringed-a-round the perimeter walls, though the various cliques rearranged the seating in their preferred way; normally an enclosed circle. Three net less table tennis tables stood in the centre of the room, nobody played on them, there were no bats, there were no balls, they kept getting pinched. These tables were used as overspill seating and tabling for late coming pupils. Continue reading “Hit came from Outer Space”
It’s alright for you lot just ‘avin’ a larf!
But that’s me in the picture wot ‘Enri ‘as done.
And it’s my dream ‘e painted; you don’t know the ‘alf!
And my name is Angelica Cinnamon Bunn.
You’ll be askin’ me ‘ow all them animals came
To be sniffin’ around in my jungle that night.
Well I’d ‘ad quite a day, as you do in my game,
With a saunter round fur shops in town – my delight!
Then in the arcade stood old ‘Enri. ‘E’d stopped
To admire my sleek outlines, ‘e said with such charm.
When I told ‘im I’d show ‘im some more if ‘e dropped
A few quid in me purse, ‘e just gave me ‘is arm.
It takes a few hours to ‘do justice’, ‘e said,
While I lay in the buff and just studied ‘is cat;
It was stuffed and lay, looking surprised, on the bed –
But ‘e wouldn’t let on ‘ow it ended like that.
That evening ‘e took me to dinner, you see.
And ‘e asked me to sit again soon, s’il vous plait.
Then I told ‘im my dream while ‘e painted; the fee
For the nightmare was double ‘e’d paid for the day.
Painting by Henri Rousseau (for JW)
I was so entranced by the ‘Magic’ theme that I find myself unable to think of an interesting subject for the July poeticals.
Therefore, this month’s competition is open … except for the inclusion of the names of two herbs (they have such beautiful names) and one creature. You may add more herbs and creatures, if you wish, to create a fragrant, poetic casserole.
Any form, length etc.
Entries by midnight on 21 July 2013.
This is the part we all hate- choosing a winner. Still, it must be done. Only four entries but what the competition lacked in quantity it made up for in quality.
It was quite Testing for me reading Soutie’s paean to an upcoming star in the world of rugby. It also begs the question just how many Petersens/Pietersens are there in South Africa? Nonetheless a fine ode and no derogatory rugger snipes from me.
The mighty Janus once again made his rhyming so effortless in his story of a relative that is a clockwork genius. Living in the land of Lego as he does, I’m sure Janus is no mean constructor and destructor of blocks himself. Very interesting thread in his post as well.
Bilby has proven herself to be an accomplished wordsmith. Beautifully written with an emotional ending. Proof indeed that are many talents on board the Chariot.
PapaG’s entry had me chuckling from the start. Best title for a poem in a long while. His manic romp through a magic show conjured many images. He really got in the act of this theme. Very funny and it did appeal to me.
Thank you to all who entered, you’re all stars. The winner is… Continue reading “June Magic competition result”
The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.
This terrifying tale, Knock, was written by Fredric Brown based on a plot by Thomas Bailey Aldrich. It’s a little story with a big history.
Seeing this yarn as a challenge to myself because I do write exceedingly short stories I wanted to outdo or out little perhaps Brown’s vignette. The bin was overflowing with discarded foolscap of inferior text and threatening to drown me with paper. Struggling to breathe over the sea of A4 at last I finished my saga.
I tap your shoulder. Boo.
These five little words are cinematic in their scope. Consider it, how many times has the camera frightened the audience by giving them a sudden jerk by revealing quickly an unknown entity in their midst. This trick is called in the game- the jump scare. My “jump scare” short story may be filmed, we’ll have to wait and see. The text is frightening enough what will it be like accompanied by creepy music?
My publisher informed me that Quick Books are interested in my work. Quick books are a new company that specialise in condensing major pieces of fiction making them accessible for readers that don’t have time to complete the full novel. Therefore they will be printing an abridged version of my tour-de-force. I am quite happy to re-print the Quick Books adaptation here for your delectation.
Boo.
On a bladderwracked, forsaken isle,
all swirled about with wind-blown gulls,
a wild man keeps his hut and hearth,
eschewing what he held most dear;
awash in toxic madness.
A giant monster, gnarled and raving,
marked by sun and raging winds,
bewitched beneath a pregnant moon,
and twisted like a mandrake root;
harbouring ancient sins.
Boadicea's Chariot 
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