Category: Bad Poetry

A paean for London 2012

They know the price of everything
(Don’t they just, don’t they just!)
They carp about the air we breathe
(Don’t they just, don’t they just!)
Our celebration of the rings
Our vict’ries and our winners’ wreaths
D’you wonder why we make them seethe?
They envy what we all achieve!
(Don’t they just, don’t they just!) Continue reading “A paean for London 2012”

A Modest Proposal

A Modest Proposal, with profuse apologies to Jonathan Swift

“A modest proposal for preventing the children of poor people in Ireland from being a burden to their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the public”

The Irish problem could be solved, there’s quite a simple cure,
By dining on the offspring of the nation’s poor.
Oven-ready babies could be sold when weaned,
They’d fetch a fortune so I‘m told; ten shillings maybe more.

Continue reading “A Modest Proposal”

The green and gold

After much debate and heartache, Oscar’s off to the big London show
the question we ask ourselves now, how fast and far can he really go?

He’s running the four hundred and the four by four
Fate dealt a cruel cruel blow, not set back by that score
With a buffalo’s grit, the heart of ten lions
we’ll see him compete with fellow Olympians

There is of course, more to The Games, than just winning
respect, treatment as a fellow human being
I’m sure he’ll reminisce as he grows old
of that day, he pulled on the green and gold

The renegade swift


                     Jonathan

There once was a nondescript swift
(Try this after several glasses)
Whose antics left other swifts miffed,
In partic’lar the swift upper classes.

Problem was: he didn’t do swooping
Or hanging round roof-eaves or gables.
And nest-boxes left his wings drooping,
Like the corners of cloths on fine tables. Continue reading “The renegade swift”

Henley the Bearded Dragon (Poetry Competition)

Wiki photo

Grey and pretty, frilled and scaled,
with blood around her head,
at first I couldn’t ascertain
if she were live or dead.
“Some bastard hit her”, I did cry,
“And left her on the road to die.”

Continue reading “Henley the Bearded Dragon (Poetry Competition)”

Ode to a Strawberry Roan: Poetry Competition

Ode to a Strawberry Roan

A flighty filly, highly strung,
Prone to sudden shies.
The dogs attack, in fun no doubt,
In gleeful barking cries.

The hounds close in, she tossed her mane,
And in a sudden rush,
Her rider landed, winded now,
Into a handy bush

Continue reading “Ode to a Strawberry Roan: Poetry Competition”