Author: janus

I'm back......and front - in sunny Sussex-by-the-sea

1963

My reader may not remember 1963, owing to age or wha’ever, but it was a year when the Tories had little local difficulties as potentially disastrous as their current turmoil. They also made prurient reading – often referred to as the Keeler affairs, with her famous beau, Cabinet Minister John Profumo and a Russian diplomat, Yevgeny Ivanov.

We were entertained by Christine Keeler’s fellow ‘escort’, Mandy Rice-Davies, immortalised by her comment in Court when confronted by a Defence Barrister: ”Well ‘e would say that, wouldn’t ‘e?”

The gubmint fell and Labour’s Harold Wilson became PM.

https://news.sky.com/story/profumo-affairs-christine-keeler-dies-at-75-11157992

The simple truth

I think it would be fair to say that Britain has not always dealt with Ireland fairly or squarely. Think famine and the Troubles. But I have always wondered why the Protestant Sect in the north has been allowed to create endless mayhem when it has been obvious that the best solution would have been a united, independent Ireland. There are enough precedents around the world that would support the idea.

Of course it won’t happen but I’ve had anough of the tail wagging the dog over there. And now the Republic wants to impede progress with Brexit. Typical.

Court but not behind

Our thoroughly modern royal house seems to be keeping up with the latest trends (may one say, at last?). Their Spare Scion, only likely to succeed if four others fail, has introduced novelties of Churchillian proportions by proposing marriage to a Yank and that’s not all. Dare one say a colourful choice?

But more significantly, the worldly-wise Windsors are alleged to be avoiding the Trump factor altogether by simply not inviting him to the nuptials. I mean, who would, under any circumstances? That’s what I call Realpolitik. He of course will claim to have better things to do, whenever it is. But won’t he be a tad hurt with such a stellar rejection? One hopes so. (That ‘One’ may or may not refer to Harry’s Grandmama.)

Even more important – what will the bride wear? Will the groom’s best mate be revealed well in advance so that dirt he can be royally dished, character-wise, in good time? These and so many other vital issues to consider and so little time. So good wishes from me.

Sledgers strip off

As every British cricket lover will confirm, watching the match is indeed a serious business, calling for a suitably sourced blazer and tie, a faded panama hat and preferably a proper deck-chair close to the action.  Certain compromises are acceptable – but only if the match happens to attract thousands of fellow devotees – and there must be limits.

Now, however, in some corner of a foreign outfield, an upstart authority has sanctioned mixed bathing just a few feet from long-on! I mean, a gentleman’s sauna at Headingley for April fixtures would be bad enough, but really! Blowers would have found le mot juste, I’m sure.

If you can bear to learn more, the shocked meeja can help.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/shortcuts/2017/nov/21/gabba-pool-deck-get-women-bikini-into-ashes-test-match-cricket

The price of precedence

We are all air travellers. We choose the deal that suits our needs and our pockets. Meanwhile the airlines tempt us with every conceivable incentive to pay less or more, while pretending to consider our comfort and convenience.

And BA, perhaps our homeland’s favourite airline, are coming clean. So that if you pay a higher ticket price to travel with them you get ‘priority boarding’ – which Ryanair and easyJet have offered for a while at a premium price.

Result? Shock horror that BA could be so class-obsessed! ‘Rich people given priority’ according to Osborne’s London rag. But as far as I know, his rich people always got it  – with BA and every other airline. Although the chavs he appeals to will always cry foul if they can’t get to the front of the queue.

I have noticed during my many years of easyJet travel that there are folk who gladly fork out double the ticket price to occupy the front row on the plane, preening themselves as superior beings. BA know how to catch them! And good luck to them.

A Dorset lad’s pome

Thomas Hardy dun gud, lik wiv pomes. So eres won wot I lik. ‘The Darkling Thrush’, 1900

I leant upon a coppice gate
When Frost was spectre-gray,
And Winter’s dregs made desolate
The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted nigh
Had sought their household fires.

Continue reading “A Dorset lad’s pome”

All topped out at last

Thanks to 12 daytime periods of rain, it took the friendly thatcher nine weeks to complete the renovations. And last Friday a symbolic shower accompanied the traditional ceremony of topping out, flags ‘n all. We stood outside to enjoy a red sausage with a bread roll, mustard and ketchup dips, washed down with probably the best beer Denmark can offer. Believe it or not, that really is the traditional fare for such occasions!

He recalled that he himself had re-thatched parts of this same roof 25 years ago – and could even remember the details of his earlier work, replacing some rough-hewn battens with modern planed timbers, by now specified as to quality and dimensions by the building authorities. Not surprisingly, the latest requirements take account of the burgeoning girth of the craftsmen they must support!

Skål! Og vi ses! (Probably not.)

A name to conjure with

Carles Puigdemont. It’s a cracker, anagram-wise.

Let’s leave aside the bizarre concept of an elected European pollie seeking political asylum in Belgium – whose own cultural conflicts deserve serious attention!

CP offers us some marvellous phrases:

Is he RECOMPUTING DEALS? Does he come from the CAMPGROUND ELITES? Is Catalonia now an IMPREGNATED LOCUS? Is Madrid PROSECUTING LAMED ducks? Or are they all MODULATING CREEPS? Is there a MOULDERING ASPECT to all this? Is JP PERMEATING CLOUDS? Or is it a storm in a SMOLDERING TEACUP?

Have your own fun with it – the list is endless.

About time too!

I am married to a life-long smoker. Some years ago, by way of gentle retaliation, I calculated her consumption had already exceeded over half-a-million fags but of course I had not yet worked out the potential cost in time-outs in the modern world. But in Japan…….

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2017/10/30/non-smokers-get-six-days-extra-paid-leave-make-smokers-cigarette/

I retired before smoke-free offices were enforced but I do see groups of addicts standing outside their places of work at all hours of the day. So I can see the problem. Meetings interrupted or postponed. Phone calls unanswered or delayed. Simples.

If they wish to claim their addiction is a medical problem, then they must submit to treatment. If not, the Japanese solution is fair.