Curmudgeonly principles

As you all well know, I subscribe strictly to the ‘wogs begin at Calais’ principle.

I have been nursing my xenophobia for a good 50 years and have no intention of changing the habits of a lifetime.

Every now and again one has to stand up and be counted.  Last Wednesday was such a day.  I spin every two weeks with a group in one of these heritage homes, as usual, a mixed bag of people but heavy on the woolly liberal do gooding ex university lecturing variety.

One pops up with an idea that for our Christmas do gooding we should contribute to some wretched group of peasants in Peru that spin and weave for a living. Pictures were passed showing perfectly healthy, fully clothed, non starving bowler hatted ‘ladies’.  Cheque books at the ready, this was greeted with enthusiasm by all and sundry.

Except me.

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One of the better weekends!

No Bank holiday here and it is raining, so one must amuse oneself somehow.

In a spirit of utter triumphalism what a truly splendid weekend.

The score thus

Gaddafi’s son and three grandchildren. (4points)

Bin Laden, his son (2 points) and his wife who he was using as a human shield, what cowardice!(5 points) Executed neatly, (1 point) no trial for the BBC and bleeding heart liberals to emote over (1 point) No need to listen to all the self justifying claptrap (1 point) No costs of World Court trial (10 points) and to crown it all dumped in the seas to feed the sharks with no appropriate martyrdom site (1point).  Perhaps they can issue a fartwah against sharks?

A truly splendid, trouble free, dry, happy Royal wedding (5 points)

Score more than enough to nil to the WASPS.

Not a good weekend for jehadist ragheads and republicans.

Quite enough to totter off and open a celebratory bottle of alcohol to go with one’s Duchy Original pork bangers! For once I do wish I lived in New York. I’d join the party at Ground Zero.

Ruminations on Japan.

Japan has taken the 5th largest earthquake ever recorded in the 20th &21st Centuries.

What is truly amazing is that the vast majority of the buildings survived the earthquake pretty well intact.  It was the tsunami that did for them subsequently.  When you compare the whole event with the debacle of Haiti and Indonesia and the relevant death tolls of both of those events  one has to have nothing but admiration for their civil engineering, stoicism and self control.  Had Christchurch received the ‘benefit’ of an 8.9, theirs was only 6.2, I doubt a brick would have been left standing in the city.  Seemingly the only other country that appears to have anywhere near the survival rate of structures is Chile.

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One seriously wonders what is going on?

Reading the papers this morning the presages of doom seem to be in overdrive!

It strikes me that the global warming supplicants have moved on from their current busted flush to the munificent bottomless coffers of Monsanto.  Now we are assured that the burgeoning  world population will not be fed unless we accept cloning and GM. Otherwise they are all heading for our patch in ravening hordes. (I thought they were already here?)

Then we are ‘terrified’ by the threat of petrol rationing at £8.00 per gallon.  World shortages, global warming, yeti size carbon footprints, dedadedadeda! Ahem, we currently pay 56 pence per litre here, yes, you read it right, 56p/l. tax included!  That is how much of a shortage there is.

To top it off we are solemnly assured that Yellowstone is about to go off causing world decimation (which it will).  Well, OK that’s true, give or take an odd few million years, but, like now, right now, before lunch??

I suppose we could have a public whip round and buy them a decent book of chilling Fairy tales, a new copy of Grimms would do with which to terrorise the children; other than that-

THE SOONER THE BETTER!  About time the world had a serious clear out and culling.  Better to go with a bang than a whimper, but not before coffee please.

Meanwhile I’m off to count angels dancing on pinheads and study my Mayan calendar.  (Surely Nostrodamus didn’t have THAT MANY descendants that all took the title of journalist?)

Why Can’t I own a Canadian?

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.   The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.


Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them:

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I was really rather amused at janh’s post on New Year’s resolutions or more likely in her case revolutions!

Not that I could be bothered with such self improving claptrap for a moment, far too dissolute, disinterested and indolent to even consider a list.

However, by sheer chance, I have managed to rather trap myself into something I have been vaguely considering for six months or so. Believe it or not, I rather miss the dying, after 8 years of extensive practise I miss the conversation of those past caring about the impression they make on others, so had tiptoed around the thoughts of volunteering at a hospice.

This country deals with dying in a quite hideous manner, as if it is a disease that can be staved off by hope, bright cheery fake voices and a total refusal to face realities of non existence with a huge indegestible dollop of christianity to gag the most enthusiastic!

Anyway, it went thus, I happened to be in the library last week and there on the noticeboard was a request and course for volunteers at the newly built hospice ( the only one in the county).  I rang them up and explained I didn’t ‘do’ faith, children or women, but crusty males were just fine, I got a laugh.

“All the ones no one else can cope with eh?”


Oh God, hoist on my own petard, I start a course at the end of the month. Nothing like seeing the poor old sods off fast is there?  Some of my more laconic observations should send them on their way with an unexpected laugh or a heartfelt desire for ‘the off’.  I shall be quite back in harness.

I do hope I am not spoiling my record of a lifetime of non event New Year revolutions.  No, and you can’t have pictures!

A note for Bearsy and Bo

I note today that the US has already offered Australia assistance through diplomatic channels (Wikileaks not withstanding) as announced by the State dept.

I must say, to have offered help too early would have looked more like assuming an inability to cope which is obviously not the case.  Timing is sometimes a rather difficult area to get right.  After all, no one wants to be lumped in the same club as Haiti! (drowning not withstanding!!) I hope this satisfies you that others were not totally insensitive to your adverse weather events.

History of Profiling

The day it all started was March 6, 1836.  On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo. He then walked up to the observation post along the west wall of the fort.
William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already there, looking out over the top of the wall. These three great men gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving toward them.
With a puzzled look on his face, Crockett turned to Bowie and said: “Jim, are we having some landscaping done today?”