One seriously wonders what is going on?

Reading the papers this morning the presages of doom seem to be in overdrive!

It strikes me that the global warming supplicants have moved on from their current busted flush to the munificent bottomless coffers of Monsanto.  Now we are assured that the burgeoning  world population will not be fed unless we accept cloning and GM. Otherwise they are all heading for our patch in ravening hordes. (I thought they were already here?)

Then we are ‘terrified’ by the threat of petrol rationing at £8.00 per gallon.  World shortages, global warming, yeti size carbon footprints, dedadedadeda! Ahem, we currently pay 56 pence per litre here, yes, you read it right, 56p/l. tax included!  That is how much of a shortage there is.

To top it off we are solemnly assured that Yellowstone is about to go off causing world decimation (which it will).  Well, OK that’s true, give or take an odd few million years, but, like now, right now, before lunch??

I suppose we could have a public whip round and buy them a decent book of chilling Fairy tales, a new copy of Grimms would do with which to terrorise the children; other than that-

THE SOONER THE BETTER!  About time the world had a serious clear out and culling.  Better to go with a bang than a whimper, but not before coffee please.

Meanwhile I’m off to count angels dancing on pinheads and study my Mayan calendar.  (Surely Nostrodamus didn’t have THAT MANY descendants that all took the title of journalist?)

Author: christinaosborne

Landed on one side safely.

36 thoughts on “One seriously wonders what is going on?”

  1. Don’t forget, Betelgeuse is going to explode and irradiate us all sometime in the next 100,000 years – but it may be tomorrow, just after lunch.

  2. Presages of doom in overdrive; quite so, Christina.

    I’m still waiting for the invasion of Henley on Thames by hordes of radical followers of Islam, which I was told some time ago was imminent.

    I have taken a chance and booked a table for Friday evening; a precise timetable would be appreciated if only to plan one’s life!

    Meanwhile, vigilance is necessary; in order that one of course can react with alacrity should things go completely pear-shaped from whatever scare the media thinks up next.

  3. Bugger it Bearsy, I wanted to see Yellowstone get the Canadians before I was irradiated out of existence! At 650 miles to the left we should get a good show, being upwind, before the general immolation!
    Aha! Araminta, you should just about have a ring side view on Friday as long as you can see the bridge for the multitudes of ravening tattered hordes pouring into town. Oh dammit! That is the population of Wargrave in disguise!!! (ex incumbent model included)

    Do you think this a concerted effort by the journalists, a doomed occupation, to misappropriate the jobs of sandwich board men?
    The End of The World on ‘wry’ please!

  4. God, yes, the population of Wargrave is a serious problem, Christina.

    Upstarts these Berkshire types; blowing up the bloody bridge has been suggested, but frankly most of them seem to know their place.

    A few of ’em try to make it down the river, but not a serious problem in winter. 😉

  5. Down river!

    Must away to ‘scry’ the refrigerator for lunch. I wonder if one could develop a way of using the contents of the fridge to foretell the arrival of doom? It would be a real pisser to have just spent about £300 in the supermarket and find the end of the world had arrived before lunch wouldn’t it?

  6. If Betelgeuse explodes Bearsy, it should not pass unnoticed, even in Australia, as it is 250 million miles in diameter…I’m waiting for San Francisco to fall off into the Pacific.

  7. Ah! Weel as one of our sages often says.

    GM crops are one of the reason the hordes have been fed so long, at 6 trillion we would not survive long without them, the US corn harvest rose from around 100 bushels/acre to over 250 in 2009. I have not heard of any deaths resulting yet, even in the nations that survive on USAID.

    Just for the record that list is currently 100 countries who receive free food from the US taxpayer (that’s me).

    California, yes, I’ve been waiting (hoping?) for it to fall into the sea since Gerry Brown’s first reign.

    Wasn’t Betelgeuse a two headed character from that TV show?

  8. A, No I had not heard about Peter Freebody, big big friend and drinking companion of No 2 model, but not of mine. I bet that has really cheered him up, not!
    Thank you for the info.

  9. Oh, great, Fear Mongering, now is me chance!! 🙂

    Being a religious person (here we go again) We are now at the end of chapter 12 of the revelation, the time when Satan has been thrown to Earth and attacks humanity by FLOOD. This will go on for a while longer yet, floods everywhere for another 3 years or so.

    While this is happening there will be large earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, viruses and even a war in which those who live by the sword are defeated and on and on an on.

    Then you get the number (The Carbon Footprint Number) that none of you may buy or sell unless you have the number.

    Not that I care, I’m as protected as protected can be, note that in the entire eastern coast of Australia , my area has not been touched by floods, it’s the rest of humanity that cops it. I’m safe. I’m a good little christian you see. Untouchable by Satan. 🙂

    Hard to believe it is all happening at last. Of course, you can pick on all this, deny it , say it isn’t happening, call me a fool and so on, but I think if you have a good look you will know where the truth lies.

    Chapters 12 and 13 …. Chapter 12 started September 11, 2007 … add 1260 days from there and you’ll know why the floods are here. 🙂

    Ok, lets have it … dish it out, come on ….

  10. Donald.

    Thank goodness someone has come up with a timetable; I’ll just get my calculator and I may have time to panic!

    Back soon…….. agh!

  11. Donald.

    OK, silly me just tell me if I have to cancel my table for six this coming Friday evening please.

    Just give me the facts, I promise I will not hold you personally responsible. I should give them twenty four hours notice to be fair, but if we are all about to vaporise, it’s probably not a big deal.

  12. Thank God I’ll be dead before it all kicks off!
    Note to self, consume more claret, ASAP!

  13. Well, what can I say, you have to offer a sacrifice, the last one! so make sure you only serve bread and water.

    Did I mention the hornets? 😦

  14. Erm, can I put a paw in the air for natural selection. Live by the sword and die by the sword, as they say.


  15. Donald – Extremely imminent natural selection beats fear-mongering theology hands down. Every time. 🙂


  16. OZ – That might be true but there’s no money in it, me on the other hand I can scare the crap out of my church members then ask them for a donation on the pretext that it will save their souls, they’ll not only pay it, they’ll leave me all their money in their wills. 🙂

  17. Low Wattage :

    GM crops are one of the reason the hordes have been fed so long, at 6 trillion we would not survive long without them, the US corn harvest rose from around 100 bushels/acre to over 250 in 2009. I have not heard of any deaths resulting yet, even in the nations that survive on USAID.

    Just for the record that list is currently 100 countries who receive free food from the US taxpayer (that’s me).

    Hi LW, you are right to be pissed off. We in Africa are pissed off with US AID as well. It is helping to destroy any chance this continent has of becoming civilized. Dependency on Aid, US food Aid in particular means that the peasants do not grow their own food. They sit and wait until the US provides it. Africa is quite capable of feeding itself. This continent is so fertile, everything grows here. But what the US does is subsidise its own farmers by buying up surplus grain at inflated prices, courtesy of tax payers like you, and then ship it off overseas thereby fulfilling their ‘moral’ obligations to provide aid to the 3rd world. There is a book called ‘Dead Aid’ by Dambisa Moyo, a Zambian economist, if you can imagine such a thing. Actually, by all accounts she is pretty damn smart. In any event, she lays into the whole Aid fiasco. To my mind not only does Aid not work, it is actually corrupt, in every aspect, from source all the way to consumer.

    Monsanto and its ilk are just some of the devils in this area.

  18. Aussie white fella say, “Give a man a fish and he’ll do your bidding; teach a man to fish and he’ll bum around in a boat all day drinking beer”.

  19. Give a Zambian a fish you feed him for a day. Give him a fishing rod and you give him the fire wood to cook the fish you gave him yesterday.

  20. I heard Dambisa Moyo on a World Service programme the other day, supported by the Financial editor of a Tanzanian daily, sorry, name of the guy and the newspaper both escape me. Both of them were arguing along the same lines about aid.

  21. Hello Sipu:

    US food aid may be coming to an end soon, due to lack of supply rather than lack of demand. The latest idiocy by the administration will require 15% ethanol in gasoline in 2011 (up from 10% presently). The US consumes 100 Billion gallons of gasoline per year, so it will require about 15 Billion gallons of ethanol for this purpose. One bushel of corn makes 2.5 gallons of ethanol, so the new rules will require about 6 Billion bushels of corn per year. That’s almost 50% of the total harvest.

    Incidentally ethanol consumes 70% more energy to make than it delivers as a fuel.

    One seriously wonders what is going on!

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