They don’t like dogs

Boadicea and I were watching the news this evening, a short article about an army handler’s dog that had been lost for weeks in Afghanistan, but had been found and reunited with his human partner.   There were cute pictures of dog and man, both obviously delighted to be together again.

This really brought it home to us – Muslim’s don’t like dogs; they call them “unclean” and shun them.   That does it for us.

Every Muslim in the whole wide world is condemned.   They are not dog-lovers, and anyone who doesn’t like dogs should be exiled to the outer darkness.

No reprieve, no remission.   Islam is declared anathema until every adherent acquires a six-week-old puppy and gets enthusiastically licked.

Bearsy has spoken!

No, the site is not to blame (article now complete)

No, Val, I’m not shouting at anyone.   All I’m trying to do is to help all you Charioteers get the best out of this site.

Those with super-fast broadband don’t have to worry about download times, but those with slow connections do; even Boadicea and I, with a medium-fast ADSL1 connection, get extended times with really large files.   We are all affected by being profligate with WordPress storage, and we all want our photographs to display on our colleagues monitors with the best possible quality, don’t we?

So here is a detailed tutorial on pictures, file sizes and formats, download times, compression techniques and browser rendering engines.   I urge you all to read it – it’s in simple English – even those one or two of you who know as much, or more than I do about the subject (because you can correct my errors).   I’ve left out a lot of detail where I think it doesn’t matter, and I’ve rounded many of the figures (so please don’t attack the maths).   If you want to know more, there’s lots on the web – here’s a possible starting point.

You will find the tutorial here, and on the menu bar, as a submenu under ‘Images’.

 

Do NOT even think of reading this

Why Julia lost the Ashes

 

Some of you disregarded my advice on a previous article and were shocked and offended by Australian humour and Australian vocabulary.

Today’s antipodean article is written by a more literary bloke, and is hilarious if you genuinely understand down-under politics and cricket.

The comments and the author’s responses to the comments are mirth-making too, to those of us that have had the lobotomy.

I emphasise that all those who sneered at the earlier offering from The Punch should avoid this one like the plague.   John Mackie, Soutie and Sheona may possibly find it entertaining – or perhaps even they may not.

You have been warned.   If you ignore the warning and then complain, you will be probably soundly abused and insulted – and Boadicea will not protect you! 😀

Don’t read this article …

Don’t read this article in “The Punch” if you are unable to cope with Australian vocabulary and Australian humour.

Don’t click on the picture to access the link if you’re an up-tight Pom, even an expatriate up-tight Pom, unless you’re prepared to be amused by off-beat, tongue-in-cheek commentary.

If you click in error, close the page before you read the article.

If you do read it, don’t slag me off, I didn’t write it.

John Mackie may possible enjoy it – but I could be wrong.

They’ve got to go!

Andrew Hilditch - Chairman of Selectors
Tim Nielsen - Team Coach
Don’t take my word for it – this is Michael Slater‘s verdict.   Though I have to say I agree whole-heartedly with him. 

When a team fails, the coach is for the chop!   It’s tradition.   Between them, these two gentlemen are the primary cause of the decline in Australian cricket.   Sure, Punter and Pup have done their bit to guarantee defeat, but who decided Hauritz wouldn’t play – who kept Cameron White out of the side – sacked Andrew Symonds and ensured that Shane Warne would retire last year?

That’s right – these two crims!   Find ’em a quiet spot in the top paddock, and forget ’em! 👿

What’s religion got to do with it?

Latest addition to the Australian Test Squad - Usman Khawaja

One of our journalists headed his article on young Usman’s elevation to the peerage with the remark “First Muslim to represent Australia”.

He received blunt answers from all but one of the on-line commentators, which were all along the lines of  “He’s an Aussie, he plays good cricket, who cares about his religion?” They went on to observe that journos don’t mention the faith of other team members, so why should they try and make an issue out of Usman’s?   It’s a non-event.

Usman himself didn’t see it in religious terms either; he plays guitar (whoops, the Imams will have a fit), plays Playstation (likewise), and doesn’t interrupt his innings to bang his head on the pitch at regular intervals.   He is a non-drinker of alcoholic beverages, but as Katich (his NSW captain) points out, that means he can act as taxi-driver when he joins the lads to go out for a night on the town.   Which he does.

The journo’s efforts to stir up trouble rather backfired.   Good!

Oh, the one dissenter?   He observed that religion must be important, because with the weird selection policy operated by current State boards it was practically impossible for any promising new youngsters to be selected unless they fitted some arcane profile which had little to do with their proficiency at cricket!   Oh, parochial politics in sport – beats religious bias every time! 😀

So where’s the foreign aid?

Bundaberg, Queensland

An area larger than Germany and France together is flooded.   22 cities and innumerable small towns across Queensland are inundated.   Thousands have been evacuated to rescue centres, thousands have lost everything – the cost to the Australian economy has already been estimated to exceed $6 billion.

Yet where are the offers of help from the USA and Britain?   There are none.   No rescue helicopters, no food drops, no financial support.   Nothing, nada, zilch; just a deafening silence.   Special relationships?   Don’t make me laugh.

Where are the generous aid packages from Pakistan, India, Indonesia, China?   There are none; not a brass razoo.

Australia will as always quietly get on with the job, on its own.