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Greatest Year

In the author’s opinion 1953 was the greatest year in human history. The list below gives an indication of some of thee historic events in that calendar year. There wasn’t enough room to mention more though I dare say the lot of you well remember this was the year of Myxomatosis in the UK. Tic-tac-toe, it was not.

The coronation of Queen Elizabeth II

Crick and Watson discover DNA

Two other blokes discover REM sleep.

Hillary reaches the top.

Piltdown Man is rock bottom.

Magnificent England beat Australia to reclaim the Ashes which the Aussies had held since 1934.

Hungary thrash the Horrible English 6-3 at Wembley.

Gordon Richards wins the Derby at long last.

First issue of Playboy.

Two thirds of Rush are born.

Most importantly, the famous Glasgow Rangers win the Scottish Football Championship on goal average.

The Poor Folk are at it again

PREFACE

I know that short stories are not really in demand on The Chariot these days but after reading a few Russian novels I decided to throw up a fable set in the Motherland. I wrote it quickly as I was Russian to finish it in time for tea. There are a few modern influences in the tale though the joke is an old one. However, as the story takes place in the 1850s maybe this was its first airing. Apologies for any grammatical errors in advance. I know what you lot are like.

Read it or don’t read it. You have your choice. I have a massive back catalogue of blogs on MYT with no views and no comments so I’m not bothered if this is sent to Siberia.

Pass me the wooly hat. Continue reading “The Poor Folk are at it again”

This is the way your world ends…with a bang

Just finished reading Crime and Punishment for the second time. The first time was twenty years ago when it was all Russian to me. Being older I had a better understanding of the novel this time.

One of the passages that caught my eye on this reading was when Raskolnikov, after five days of delirium, reads the previous five days newspapers. He is searching for details of the double murder. Before he sees the reports of his crime, there is a flavour of the news in Petersburg of that era. There is an accident on a staircase, four incidents of fires (was there an arsonist on the loose?) and spontaneous combustion of an alcoholic shopkeeper. This brought a smile to my face as I thought of a funny episode in a film.

In a scene from the rock music spoof, This is Spinal Tap, one of the band’s drummers dies from spontaneous human combustion. Most of the drummers, party animals, seem to have a small shelf life and die from various causes. But if you gotta go. SHC is as good as any. Continue reading “This is the way your world ends…with a bang”

Stationery to Stationery

According to a recent poll, stationery is the 41st thing that Britons love the most. In my book, I’d place it considerably higher. There really is not many better feelings than the smell of punched paper (or is that paper punched?) first thing in the morning.

What’s not to like about stationery? Pencils with tiny rubbers, shatterproof rulers and a compass to arc and map the page; just like being on a boat only without the waves or the sea legs.

Another reason for the love affair with merchandise office supplies is that much the same as office affairs, eventually it will reach the terminus. Stationery is mortal and for that we have the utmost sympathy and empathy.

• The little sharpener loses its edge and can only cut random slices out of the pencil.

• The rubber will erase itself and turn into disappearing ink.

• Old files are given the medieval treatment at the teeth of the shredder

• The Tipp-Ex bottle runs out of fluid and more urban correction methods are used.

• Modernists write their missives on machines leaving foolscap and his papermates to fade away.

Wannabe happy?

I am shocked to read that of all the places expats like to decamp to, Mexico and Russia star in the top ten! The rest seem reasonable choices. But why those two at all? I mean really?

I confess to knowing a bit about Mexico from a family connection over 30-odd years; and my information includes stuff about corruption and feudal attitudes. And how come the Russian social life is so appealing? Any suggestions?

http://www.bbc.com/capital/sponsored/story/20150916-the-12-happiest-destinations-for-expats

Entente cordiale?

Help me out here.

Thousands of ‘migrants’ are congregating around ugly Calais, apparently destitute but equipped with wire-cutters and determined to get into the Tunnel to Blighty.

OK so far?

Why? What’s wrong with Spain, Italy, France (etcetera ad nausem) where they entered the fabled EU?

Send answers please to a jobsworth in Brussels who will reply after les vacances, peut-etre.

The Wattage Two Day Cure for all Ailments

It’s true, doesn’t matter if it is lumbago, rheumatism, arthritis, sciatica or a bout of the gout this is guaranteed to cure the lot in two days.

Firewood, cut it, split it, stack it on the woodpile.

firsts

There are three trees worth here, a Hickory, an Oak and a Maple, all hardwoods, probably totaling about three cords when cut and stacked, seasoned it should weigh about six tons, wet as it is it probably weighs twice that. The big stuff with the dark heartwood is the hickory. Bitternut is the variety that grows around here and it is very heavy wood, and one of the best in terms of heat content for firewood.

Continue reading “The Wattage Two Day Cure for all Ailments”

Mud, Mystery, Murder, Manuscripts and Madness.

I heard this story when I was a lad from my father and grandfather; no mention of it was ever made in school.

The geezer in the muddy boots is Dr. Orville Ward Owen a medical doctor from Detroit, the date is May 1911, the place is close to the low tide mark of the River Wye in the shadow of the walls of Chepstow Castle.

What led the man to this place was never explained to me back then, although what he sought was well known to my relatives, and their view was that he was wasting his time and money. He made several visits, one lasting longer than six months. In all twelve or fourteen shafts were driven into the river bottom, some deeper than twenty feet. All he found were some heavy timbers that were the remains of a Roman landing stage, these were not what he was looking for.

 

 

 

 

Continue reading “Mud, Mystery, Murder, Manuscripts and Madness.”