Category: The Dark Side

I did swear

When I was a little wolf cub (tumtetum), I learned all the regulations of which there were lots……and I must have sworn the oath of allegiance to HM King George VI but can’t quite remember it. So what, you retort. Well I’ve just checked and it appears I may have committed myself to all his heirs and successors too, which is fine in the case of ERII but which will cause me some distress thereafter. What should I do? Can I now withdraw my oath, the act of a young, impressionable boy? Answers in semaphore, please, preferably from ex-cubs and ex-brownies with a similar conundrum.

Chief Scout Bear Grylls stands with Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

Know wha’ I mean, ‘Arry?

It’s a regular event much anticipated by so many (even if not here!): the mouth-watering appointment of a new England footie manager. After Capellogate and while the incident-prone Terry continues to amuse, the pundits were certain that our ‘Arry (er, Redknapp, if you don’t read the sports news) would get the nod from the sweet FA. Continue reading “Know wha’ I mean, ‘Arry?”

Pragmatism gone mad

The phrase, ‘double Dutch’ is taking on a new value – to describe the contortions of the local politicians trying to cope with appproving/disapproving of cannabis use. Words like ‘decriminalised but not legal’ are evidence of their dilemma. And now tourists, or a third of them, damn them, are making things even more difficult by wanting to buy the stuff in the 700 coffee shops.

So in one region they can’t, unless they’re happen to be German or Belgian – then it’s OK.  Pardon me? Isn’t that contrary to some Treaty of Rome or Maastricht or Shengen or other? Just get a Belgian residence permit if you need to smoke. Better make that a Flemish one, just in case there’s a language problem. But,  but …. surely signing a visitors’ book to get access is…… illegal?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17865151

Dopey, ain’t it? Yes, Holland is going to pot. My advice: keep off the grass. But it might take some Dutch courage!

How to lose friends

Chairman and CEO of News Corporation Rupert Murdoch (L) and Sunday Times Editor John Witherow (R) attend the funeral service of journalist Marie Colvin at St. Dominic's Church in Oyster Bay, New York, March 12, 2012. REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton

He’s a buddy of Blair – so you always  knew he was up to no good. Rupert Père, that is, whose readership in the UK used to be second to none – Times, Sun, NOTW. What a stable!  And young James, silver spoon firmly lodged alongside foot in mouth, had it all. But this week they will have to come cleaner than hitherto, as the evidence of their complicity in crime mounts up against them and their horsey protègè, Rebekka Brooks. The public enquiry into press standards will come alive on Tuesday. Anybody want to buy some newspapers?

Chariot fashions

I realise that cherished colleagues have been spurred by the recent spots of spring sunshine to prepare for the long hot summer we all eagerly anticipate. Honing our abs, polishing our six-packs and deepening our perennial tans, we are already planning how to impress the waiting world with our fashion selections for the new season. Aren’t we? No. OK. Continue reading “Chariot fashions”