I realise that cherished colleagues have been spurred by the recent spots of spring sunshine to prepare for the long hot summer we all eagerly anticipate. Honing our abs, polishing our six-packs and deepening our perennial tans, we are already planning how to impress the waiting world with our fashion selections for the new season. Aren’t we? No. OK.
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Well, if you are a less enthusiastic beach bum than the rest of us, the good old DT has thoughtfully provided a guide to help us avoid those oh-so-familiar faux-pas which we recognise so readily when others make them but rarely when we ourselves transgress. (I’ll draw a veil over Backside’s protestations that his summer wardrobe is full of most of the forbidden items.)
So here it is: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/9185744/Holiday-fashion-disasters.html?image=17
Be honest – you do favour some of those, don’t you?
Boadicea's Chariot 
My beach faux-pas are not on your link, Janus, and I am not inclined to enlighten you. 🙂
Oh, OK, I’ve worn some absolutely hideous shorts.
Man up! Get a proper tattoo and don’t wear your suit socks with your sandals – ever. And don’t even think about shorts, Union Flag T-sihirt, a knotted hankeee on your ‘ead and a pint of lager in your ‘and at 6 am.
OZ
I am innocent of all these crimes against good taste.
Though, at times, I do wear shorts a bit too frequently — especially when it gets especially warm,
though I never take my shirt off and hardly ever go to the beach.
I confess that I once wore grey morning dress after Ascot week.
Chistopbher – Shorts are fine, provided not accompanied by the other sartorial items on the list.
Sipu – I am shocked.
OZ
Like chris I’m innocent!
Not that you can see under my burka!
Sipu: at first I read that you wore a grey morning dress after Ascot week. Fortunately I did not read it correctly as the shock may have been too great for my poor little heart.
Lobinho: of that I’ve never been guilty. What’s worse yet is people wearing Hawai’ian-print shirts. It’s cruel.
CO: the only time I could imagine you wearing a burqa would be if you were hiding some large weapons.
Picture, picture! 🙂
CO, I note that the DT has become too PC to mention that your chosen apparel is unsuitable for the beach. Shame.
Nope none on that list, I have long been of the opinion that anyone wearing socks with sandals should be issued with a one way pass to the salt mines.
Ah Christopher, I must admit to a liking of the brightly coloured, short sleeve shirt. Guilty as charged on that one.
Tut, tut. Noblesse has lost its grip.
But on the subject of those sandals with socks, isn’t the nadir of taste when the socks are white and the wearer is sporting bermudas? (Often espied on TV coverage of American golf events. Looka out for them at the Masters this week.)
I own to having my hair braided with beads – but that was a long time ago – and I was in Bali…. 🙂
Ah, memories……
I think DT should have issued a health warning with someof those pictures. The one that interested me was the lady in cut-out swimsuit holding a leather handbag. A leather handbag on the beach? Weird! But I am not guilty of any of these faux pas, to the best of my recollection.
Sheona, you are appointed Chariot Haute Couturista – can you supply pics of the latest in cool?
What about this?
http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&biw=1179&bih=622&tbm=isch&tbnid=9i54pLM67qrSGM:&imgrefurl=http://www.twylah.com/fashionfabulous/topics/hair&docid=7LRCzSCkgzsM5M&imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ExtrLR1VpnI/TmtZvzfnM1I/AAAAAAAAGjY/DH6_wQp2-tI/s400/maiden%25252Bform%25252Bbra%25252Bchariot%25252Broman%25252Bvintage%25252Bretro%25252Blingerie%25252Badvertisement.jpeg&w=360&h=400&ei=I099T6vvGKvZ4QTwtOyWDQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=460&vpy=2&dur=62&hovh=237&hovw=213&tx=108&ty=80&sig=106180130650466150362&page=1&tbnh=133&tbnw=124&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:69
Hmm, in this particularly PC age, it some how seems OK for the DT to judge people by the clothes they wear.
Having actually seen the pictures I will confess that I once wore a cowboy hat where I should not have. I had been at a conference in Denver and we had all been given stetsons, (I don’t think they were genuine); a choice of black or white, well beige. Natch I chose black. From Denver I flew to Montreal. It was late winter and still cold, so I was wearing a burberry type mac (definitely not genuine). What with suitcases and laptops, where could I put my hat, but on my head. As I emerged into arrivals in Canada, a passing Quebecois looked at me and with the derision his kind reserve especially for Americans, said, ‘Howdy, coyboy’. That hat is probably still on the top shelf of a cupboard in a Montreal hotel room.
A question for Soutie: When I quote a long blue address (#17), how do I reduce it to a techie-savvy, blue ‘here’? (Yes, yes, I should know by now but I don’t. :-()
Thank you for that unsolicited appointment, Janus, but I must decline. I wear what I think suits me and don’t care whether it’s “cool” or not. The word on the Cote d’Azur just now is that “raspberry” is “in” colourwise, if that’s any help to anyone. Luckily I have a jacket of that colour, bought about 10 years ago in Nice, so it’s true that if you keep an item long enough, it will come back into fashion. As for “haute couture” – some of it I drool over, but the rest … I cannot be an expert on male attire, but a stetson and a poncho, with Clint Eastwood underneath looks good to me. Pity about your stetson, Sipu – I bet the guy was just jealous.
Knotted hankies?
non of the above for me either, socks and sandals NO WAY
Furry: I’m shocked, deeply shocked! I must now skip courses for the day and recover at the beach.
I mugged the happy snapper and ran away with the camera. Anyway, I wouldn’t wish to frighten the horses. 🙂
your original link didn’t take me to the picture gallery, just a page telling me I was lost. How very true, in more than one way. However this is the link for the picture galleries, I hope
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/
What about this
Here’s what I type to manufacture the link
The bits between the inverted commas are a simple cut and paste of the web page that you want the member to be taken to. In your chariot bra pic the address would be very very long but that doesn’t matter the software sorts it all out.
Try it one of your own posts so that you can edit and delete as required.
Re your #17 I’d of simply inserted the picture!
I’m afraid the Maidenform ad reminds me of a line from “Only Fools and Horses” after Marleen has had some “work” done. Denzil says, “Careful, you could have someone’s eye out with those!”
Well done Soutie@25: I was wondering how you were going to type the link code in a comment and have it remain visible.
Janus: The white box in Soutie’s comment containing the code is in fact a picture of the code (a .jpg of it), if Soutie had simply typed the link code in his comment you would of course not see the code but would be directed to the object that the link called up.
As Soutie says it is almost always easier to put an image directly in a comment, (clear instructions are on the header bar under IMAGES). Use the link code to refer to lengthy articles.
Thanks, Soutie et al. Sheona, yes!! 🙂
“I’d have simply inserted…”, my dear chap, “I’d have…”. Good job Bearsy didn’t see that! 😀
OZ
OZ, quite right; standards are slipping hereabouts. 😦
Hee hee 🙂
Reaction sort, reaction obtained!
(albeit not from where I was expecting ;))
Soutie, is that the sort of sought you mean?
😉
😀
OZ