Category: Religion

Primogeniture for girls

One’s favourite royal is concerned. He’s afraid his future first grandchild might be female, marry an RC and thereby convert the monarchy to the Roman way of worship. Which raises a few interesting questions, I’m sure. Like: Wouldn’t it be best for him and his subjects if he himself abjured his Divine Right on accession? He must be one of only a few who a) believe that he is on an equal footing with the Godfather in the Vatican, b) want him (the PoW) as head of the CoE and c) care what a monarch does in the privacy of his/her own chapel. Or is he?

Big Ears also worries about all his fellow dukes and other hereditary peers, if the first-born son should no longer inherit as of right. What is the problem? As far as I can see the silver-spooned girls seem to be perfectly capable of rivalling their brothers in privileged education, conspicuous consumption and proxy child-rearing. Or does Charles suffer from the ‘Enry ‘Iggins Syndrome? ” Why can’t a woman……….be more like me?”

All for Nothing

It was early in the fifth century, although nobody seemed too sure about exactly how early,  when Dionysius Exiguus (Dennis the Short perhaps? Let’s call him Den. for short) was asked by his boss Pope John 1 to calculate the date of Easter for the next few years because the previous calculation only went as far as about 500 when the World was expected to end. (some of this may sound vaguely familiar)

Continue reading “All for Nothing”

Done Brown

My Redneck Christmas tree, an annual fixture on the Creek for a few years has been challenged by a monstrous interloper.  Under cover of darkness, my neighbor, all six feet two of her, has erected a twelve feet tall ILLUMINATED inflatable Santa on the end of her dock.  Here they are mocking  my delicate and tasteful annual Christmas exhibit.

What is Christmas coming to.

The gospel according to Matt

As old Groucho remarked, “I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.” And my prejudice is now fully justified by the very idea that the word ‘marriage’ might be misused/re-interpreted/ hijacked to include seeking supernatural approval for conjoining ‘members’ of the same gender (Gerrit? Sorry, Vicar).

Matt Cartoon

Call it goodwill – if you must

Riots tonight: A hijacked car burns at Shaftsbury Square near Belfast city centre tonight as rioting broke out after hundreds of loyalists took to the streets to protest over flags

What is it with Hillary and Northern Ireland?

She just can’t keep away – even when she’s in charge of her country’s foreign relations and the happenings in a small part of a relatively friendly European state must be of minor significance – both personally and politically.

Continue reading “Call it goodwill – if you must”

Anglican angst

I’m popping orf to Olde Englande on the morrow for a gathering of the clan. So naturally my thoughts turned again to Justin Wellby, who has received his first hospital pass even before he starts his new job. It seems a bit odd really, although that may be because I am not privy to the inner workings of Lambeth United.

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Juletide approacheth

Like it or loathe it, you can’t ignore it. The first nisser (elves to you) are now multiplying around the supermarkets to herald the season of ill-temper and untold misery for millions. As one small victim put it so succinctly: “dear santa, larst yere you wos a mean bogger.” But I bring good tidings. Yours truly, Janus Agonensis, is setting up in competition with the ageing Arctic benefactor. After all, two heads are better than one and my delivery service is syndicated to low-tax Amazon. So all you have to do is to tell me your deepest desires – which will be fulfilled, subject to your signed agreement to the terms and conditions detailed in a special app available from Boots and all good garden centres, price $49.95. Thank you for your attention and have a nice day. Welcome to the Agonalia! (see Wiki for assistance as required).

This year’s word

I’m not hogging the home page deliberately. It’s the absence of other porcine posters that causes my glut, but I have to mention that the Oxford American Dictionary has plumped for ‘gif’ as the word of the year. Which only goes to prove that I no longer live in the real world. ‘Gif’, my Backside! Something to do with techie life, I hear. I can relate to one of the runners-up, ‘Eurogeddon’ though, that end-of-the-world state caused by eurocratic megalomania.

Another invention from the Great American Election debates – ‘Romnesia’ – struck me as deserving of a place in posterity, to denote that endearing quality displayed by all successful politicians.

Do you have any contenders?

It might as Welby

On paper the new head honcho at Lambeth Palace has nothing going for him: Eton and Cambridge, a number-crunching career in big biz, severe francophilia and by all accounts a thoroughly nice bloke. Hardly the qualities one expects of the Anglican Anachronism. He’s even talking about rethinking his own opinions on touchy topics! P-lease! To top it all, he’s only been in the first team at Durham for a year; hardly the practice ground for the Lords* work. But not being on the supernatural xmas card list, I don’t have a vote and can’t possibly comment – so this is Justin jest.

*select your own apostrophe, depending on your interpretation of my point.

Another modern GF – a November pome

My teacher says Guy was a terrorist – and
The Government practised rendition back then.
Is it true that this is a protestantfest?
No. (And please don’t breathe the smoke, dear.)

My mate and his dad made this really cool Guy,
To burn at the stake on November the fifth.
So can we have one of our own next year?
No. (And please don’t breathe the smoke, dear.)