Category: General

Here’s Tae Us

Some claim there’s not much fun in being Presbyterian
With a love of despair as our chosen criterion.
That we try to enjoy but our heart’s just not in it.
So we look for the worst. The best? We’ll just bin it.

But, if you think we are humble, doom-ridden or ‘douce’,
You’d be missing the mark and extremely obtuse.
For we hold it as fact that when God took a shot
at creating perfection, he fashioned the Scot.

We display to you all our practised pretence,
And try not to blame you for not having the sense
to be born a true Jock with all that’s implied.
We’re just very lucky – you can’t call it pride.

A Show of Hands for Pseu

Sorry, Pseu and hands up by me for my  total failure to lend any sort of hand of support to your competitions until tonight. As the hands of the clock move inexorably towards midnight, I genuinely feel all thumbs about not knuckling down and pulling my finger out to make  a fist at some sort of entry.

The truth is that I have been far too limp-wristed in my charioteering this month, although I could hold out the excuse that I have had my hands full at work as our IT is handed over to a new ham-fisted and cack-handed bunch of incompetents who could not find their own back passages even if they used both hands. Sorry if I’m being a bit off hand about them but the digital age can be a right pain sometimes. In my hands on experience. Continue reading “A Show of Hands for Pseu”

Happy Valentine’s Day

The festival of Bread, Love and Chocolate starts today, having been heralded yesterday by a group of  lanceurs de drapeaux dressed in red and yellow medieval outfits parading through the streets to drums and horns, tossing their flags very skilfully.  Well, they didn’t drop any while I was watching.

http://www.amourchocolat.fr/

This is a celebration of baking and chocolate, held in the square outside the Musee Peynet with all his drawings of  “Love is …”.  It’s always held round St Valentine’s Day, which this year is the day after Ash Wednesday and therefore in Lent.  So all the stalls offering Italian delicacies may be tempting people to break their Lenten resolutions.  I shall steer well clear of any meat products.

As for the weather, we are surrounded by snow-covered hills and it is cold out of the sun.  But I shall not complain.

Kazy, Shuzhuk, Karta – and Findus Beefburgers.

What, you may be wondering, do all of the above have in common? Well, it turns out that they are all made with horse meat.

I have been shaking my head over the extensive coverage of the horse meat in beef products ‘scandal’ and wondering what, perzackly, the fuss is all about. I ate kazy, shuzhuk and karta, (all types of horse meat sausage,) while I was in Kazakhstan, where horse meat is very popular, as well as horse meat steaks, stews, casseroles and pasties, and very tasty they were too – even if I did find out, after ingesting it, that karta is, in fact, made from the upper rectum of the horse…hey, it’s all meat and after some of the things I had to eat in China, horse rectum only reaches about a 2.5 on the e-e-e-ewmometer. Let’s face it, a horse is just a cow that can run fast…

There is a serious point to criticism of the coverage of the ‘scandal,’ or perhaps I mean to the reaction to the coverage. First of all, the media use the wrong word to describe what has happened – the beef burgers, lasagna and whatnot are not ‘contaminated,’ the ingredients are ‘adulterated.’ It is entirely legal to sell and consume horse meat in the United Kingdom, but it is not legal to mis-label goods for sale.

Secondly, Findus, et all are the victims here, not the perpetrators. The perpetrators of any offence are the companies who supplied the adulterated product.

A simple solution therefore presents itself. The French were quick to ban imports of British Beef – payback time… ban all beef and beef product imports from lee continong until it can be demonstrated that such products are unadulterated.

Seemples.

PS. I see Findus are changing the name of the dish to ‘Spaghetti Bollogneighs…’

Do People really live like this?

Whilst the two blogs below are amusing do they really have any point of contact with reality?

I just have never had these discussions and were I to do so I’d be out the door in a flash with bags packed! Union rules are declared before one even contemplates a relationship, there are your jobs and my jobs and get out of my bloody way.  Forget dates, presents, celebrations, shopping trips I don’t do them.  If you do, do it by yourself, no reciprocation.   Just make damned sure there is a never ending supply of red wine and cigarettes in the house, failure to do so incurs all night shopping trips and displeasure!

No discussion is to be tolerated on the mundane, boring or tedious.  If you can’t be amusing, witty or verbally vicious, keep your mouth shut!  AND GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!  Only the boy was ever allowed in the kitchen as he was used to the speed of a commercial operation. lumbering sclerotic attempts to help, not appreciated if you want to eat today!

Every husband has been fully appreciative of the need for an extremely large greenhouse to keep himself out of the divorce court, they need not know anything about plants but are allowed to admire them from afar, much more appreciated than personal comments which are not allowed. (Comes under tedious!)

I have never understood this constant need for compliments, flattery, clinging and ego bolstering.  All should stand on their own two feet with supreme indifference as to what any other thinks of them. If that floats your boat, fine, if not, fine! Piss me off once too often and I’m out of here!

And finally do not accommodate sexual peccadillos of partners. I once allowed a  shack up with some advertising executive in Henley, he committed a solecism beyond.  I got home first to my apartment.  Threw every one of his possessions out of the window including his stereo. Once he collected it all and stuffed it in his car I threw rocks at his car and managed to break all his rear lights and back window, a splendid evening’s work!  Subsequently he came unstuck in South Africa by banging a coloured woman and ended up in jail and being deported, all very entertaining!

Personally If I were to suffer such crap as below for about 15 minutes I’d change the model so damned fast it wasn’t true, or , even better, live by yourself!