Some claim there’s not much fun in being Presbyterian
With a love of despair as our chosen criterion.
That we try to enjoy but our heart’s just not in it.
So we look for the worst. The best? We’ll just bin it.
But, if you think we are humble, doom-ridden or ‘douce’,
You’d be missing the mark and extremely obtuse.
For we hold it as fact that when God took a shot
at creating perfection, he fashioned the Scot.
We display to you all our practised pretence,
And try not to blame you for not having the sense
to be born a true Jock with all that’s implied.
We’re just very lucky – you can’t call it pride.