Category: General

Tilting At Windmills

Germany is a special place, special in the nest of three-headed, phosphorescent rats on the shores of Lake Karachay sense. Germany can be difficult to stomach at the best of times. After all, even seemingly mundane matters can give those of us with distinctly Anglo-Saxon leanings fits of the vapours. For example, in order to be enrolled in a “Krankenkasse”, I was instructed to provide a copy of my British health insurance card that does not exist. They were well aware that prior to my descent into madness, I mean, move to Germany, I had been living in the United Kingdom. They were also aware that there is no British health insurance card. Yet they requested it anyway.

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It Ain’t Over ’til It’s Over

For ages now, I’ve felt it best to avoid discussing, except with people with whom one is really really close, two subjects: politics and religion. At this moment, therefore, I’ll confine my comments to saying that I’m incredibly glad that the USA election process has finally come to an apparent end.

Oh, sure, there will no doubt be recounts and even some lawsuits to follow but, the latter being baseless so far as I’ve seen, I’m prepared to accept them as a form of entertainment rather than being annoyed by any intrusion into my alleged mind. Any recounts should go quickly because, with the time-consuming work of signature verification and postmark checking already done, the ballots will need only a trip through a high-speed scanning/sorting machine. What’s most upset me has been the endless yammering of media types, the odd preemption of favorite TV programs, often conflicting and largely incorrect poll results, etc., etc.. In particular, I swear that the CNN people must be paid by the word. I got to the point of almost not caring who would win the Presidential election, just so long as there was no more talking about it.

Let quiet reign, that I may finally sleep soundly. At least until the riots start. Yes, that’s right, the authorities expect that “civil unrest” may break out in Seattle, Portland and a number of other cities. Why all those people want to go out and cause trouble is beyond me, but then that’s a subject for another posting.

Question for OZ

I have a particular luxury. Working online, I can get by reasonably comfortably with a part-time job to supplement my income. I’ve had some informal chats with employers in Portugal about working part-time as an English tutor. The three regions where I have the greatest chances are Porto, Lisbon and the Algarve. Could you please give me some general advice? Things are still embryonic and I’ve also heard some positive noises out of Arizona but I’d like to consider all my options.

Didn’t Happen #2

The study of ancient life. Backwards thinking. Theorising about old rags and bones. Fossil finders that CGi their lucky strikes and make big lizards. I will make a compelling case to argue that dinosaurs didn’t exist.

We’ll start with the skeletons in the closet. Their girth. These big truckers wouldn’t fit in a cloakroom. Then there’s the fact that there are no big beasts around today already throws up a red flag. None of them thawed from the ice! Not one. Not one, from this enormous pack of behemoths, not one had the resilience of a bug. Also, why did the bonefinders generals make them so big. From twigs and ribs they modeled these creatures. This bit goes here, that bit goes there, we’ll put scales on this one. a tail on that one. By Crichton, they airfixed these monsters to ridiculous sizes. Being so huge they would have ran out of food. This, I suppose, is a compelling case for their extinction if they lived in the first place.

Now we move to Animal Planet content. The puritan Paleontologists didn’t place genitalia on their specialized subjects. Go on, give me one example in any museum or Jurassic park franchise where there’s a Dr Manhattan strutting about. Obviously, taking their cue from ancient Greek sculptures and hoping to cash in at the cinema with a G rating they decided that fig leaves were not an option so, boof, there goes your family allowance. The lack of sexual organs is a good a reason as any for non-existence. No T-rexctasy.

The magical world of dinosaurs is populated by giants of all stripes. We’ve got flying saurs, water living saurs, plant eating saurs, nesting saurs, John Le Mesurier. It’s all too orderly for me. The majority have bought this scam. Dooursaurs agree? We’ll see. In this place, all our dinosaurs are missing. None of them blog in this period. Come on, get the stone tablets out and get chiseling. Bronto!

Shed

Sorry folks, another haircut blog. Well, we could be entering LD 2..
I pine for Glynis Barber again.


And she pines for me (yeah right, sub-editor comment)

Sheds are not for me. I’ll leave the carpentry and their abrasives to the Aussies. I’m a fringe guy born and bred; straight and to the front Trouble is Greta could be right. The crow’s feet, sorry, nest has sighted rising tides. By Gore, I’m going to have an island at the forefront of my bonce.

Don’t bother me none. It will rule the waves And it has a dashing, crashing coo’s lick promontory.