Category: Competition

Newly Dead

The top floor of the building of Moss and Rose had a room the two antique dealers liked to call the Overgrown Patch. Pete Moss and Herb Rose were hard at work in OP trying to organise the unwanted clutter into some semblance of order. A table was littered with dozens of copies of Shakespeare first folios. To give them some work space, Pistol Pete, with a sweeping backhand toppled the books to the floor creasing the pages. Managing to survive this manuscript massacre was a key. It sparkled amidst the dust on the table.

“Any idea what this key is for, Pete?”

“I’ve not seen that before. I wonder how long the key’s been there and more importantly what it’s for.” Continue reading “Newly Dead”

A Match made in Heaven: Short Story Competition.

Scene One: Castel Sant’Angelo, the Library.

He looked at Simon, the picture of despair, his elbows resting on the other side of the desk, his head in his hands.

What the hell are you going to do, Simon? It’s make your mind up time, I need some sleep. Are you going to marry her or what? Frankly, it’s a bit bloody late in the day to be having this conversation. We’re supposed to be at the church in precisely seven hours.


Ed, I just wanted to be normal, you know, not the target for stupid jokes from bigoted nutters. Jesus, I haven’t done it since I was seventeen. Do you know what that feels like? Always hiding, pretending to be something I’m not.  Look, Edward, just give me the bloody key; this may be my last chance!

Edward shook his head sadly as Simon just groaned again and poured himself another brandy. Edward took the key from the desk, opening the windows and raising his eyebrows, stood clear, and tried again to get through to his brother.

Who was it said “The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.”. Just don’t do anything stupid, and I really think you should tell Kate if you are determined to go through with this. It’s her life too, you know.

Oscar Wilde? Simon responded automatically.

No, I can’t let her go and I can’t …

Simon hurled the glass in the direction of the fireplace , unfurled his wings and flew slightly unsteadily out of the open window. Continue reading “A Match made in Heaven: Short Story Competition.”

Aunt Lisl comes to stay

He was the sole occupant, his left hand grasping the remains of a pint that was resting on a small copper-topped table, its polished surface weakly reflecting the evening sun through a puddle of what looked like blood, but was probably only Campari. The key was placed carefully away from these dregs, lying half concealed by his leather driving gloves. Nobody wears them any more, but in the early sixties they were still an accessory to be admired, an indication of a certain wealth, or at least of breeding, in the owner.

I had followed his instructions to the letter, turning left off the A3 at the Malden roundabout, and heading south towards Worcester Park. His directions had been accurate, The Plough coming into view on the right almost immediately after I had passed under the railway bridge. I had pulled across the traffic into the car park and rushed into the bar. Mine host had looked up expectantly, but I had already seen what had to be the Snug; a small room half-hidden behind the fireplace. Progress has since replaced it by a modern extension of the restaurant, but in those days it was a lovingly preserved adjunct to the old building, roughly built from local stone, with two tiny windows and ancient wooden bench seats, now comfortably covered with deep red cushions. Continue reading “Aunt Lisl comes to stay”

Let’s get this into perspective…..

The photo competition this time is on perspectives… in particular the vanishing point of parallel lines, or the vanishing point of a river or road, or anything where the vanishing point is shown, maybe on a smaller scale …. you get the picture? See what I’m after?

The deadline is Friday November 4th at midnight UK time.

Please post your photos in comments. Thank you!

16th Photo Competition – Result.

Well, my apologies for not getting this done yesterday. Not that I was at all distracted by the absolutely terrible mood brought on by the dreadful, pathetically inept departure of the English team from the RWC at the hands of, for pete’s sake, why them? Anybody else I could have stomached, any other team – Zimbabwe, Dubai, Luxenbourg, Monaco, but why, of all teams, couldn’t they just raise their game long enough to beat the bleedin’ French…

I even laughed at this joke sent to me by my Brother wot lives in Sydney, (well, Newcastle, actually, though at the moment he’s driving his supertanker somewhere around the Southern Ocean – he’s the smart one of the family.)

An Englishman, Irishman and a South African walk into a bar

………………at the departure lounge.

Ha, bloody ha, ha.

Anyhoo, on to a much more congenial subject. I liked all of the photos – Araminta’s was especially creative, I thought, and OZ’s was, well, OZ’s, though he did redeem himself with the charming shot of Das Furballen cuddling each other

Soutie’s pride was splendid – we often hear the expression ‘feral grin,’ but the middle lady in the shot really embodies the phrase.

Toc’s gatos rechonchos look expressively indolent, and RR’s Cleo, with her tail mid-twitch, has that ‘You think you’re getting away, don’t you,’ look that cats do so well, even with a furry toy.

But the one I liked best, was Pseu’s, even though it marked a sad occasion. The slightly glazed look in the eyes says, ‘Yes, I know I’m on the chair, but I’m going to sleep, live with it.’

So, the winner is Pseu – over to you, Ma’am.

The Imminent Wedding

Zorb of Klig slithered across the room on five of his tentacles, swiveled his single green eye towards her and bid a hearty hello to his inamorata, the lady Billa of Arachnia.  She had curled her millipedal self into a perfect spiral in the middle of her favorite armchair and was awaiting his arrival with interest.

Continue reading “The Imminent Wedding”

Short story competition relaunch – October 2011

It is time to restart the short story  competition and as I raised the subject this time I have I stepped forward to set the ball rolling…

The short story should be posted as a separate blog and linked to this one.
It should be up to 2000 words long on the theme of ‘wedding.’
The first scene will start with two people in a room. There’s a key on the table. During the story you should include the words ‘football’ and ‘armchair’.

The closing date is October 31st at UK midnight. I will judge the entries and announce a winner. The winner will set the next competition.

Have I missed anything?

16th Photo Competition

First of all, thanks all for the kind comments. To tell the truth, the pic of the shadow of the tree on the church was an ‘accidental’ shot. You all know me and buildings 🙂 I was shooting pics of the church and discarded this one from the ‘church’ shots because the shadow of the tree distracts a little from the image of the church I was trying to get. I kept it because, despite not being a shot of the church I liked, I did like the actual composition, and when the subject of the competition came along…

I like dogs. I don’t have one of my own because I travel so much and usually live in flats – I don’t think that flats are the right environment or dogs, they need space. That’s why I have a cat, pop her in her travel bag and she goes anywhere. Mind, I do like cats too. You don’t own a cat in the same way that you can own a dog, they’re much too bloody-minded and independent. I always call my cat my owner because that’s how, I’m sure, she sees me 😀

So, the subject of the next competition is ‘Cat!’ (Note the exclamation mark 🙂 )

Entries please by midnight UK time on the 8th Ocotber. (Extra week because I’m probably going to be travelling in the last week of September.)

Creative heads on!

A Literary Quiz

Earlier this week, I came across a book called ‘Wrotten English’ which contained some interesting references to the literary world. Below is a list of rejected titles for some well known novels. Can you work out which they are?

  1. First Impressions – Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen – Ara, PG and Google, with objections by CO!
  2. Novel Without A Hero – Vanity Fair, W M Thackery  FEEG
  3. Two and Two Are Four – HArd Times, Charles Dickens – Araminta
  4. 1805 – War and Peace. Leo Tolstoy – Papaguniea
  5. The Body and Soul of Sue – Tess of the Durbervilles, Thomas Hardy – Araminta
  6. John Thomas and Lady Jane – D H Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover – Araminta
  7. Four Years of Struggle Against Lies, Stupidity and Cowardice – Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf – Bearsy
  8. Ba! Ba! Black Sheep – Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell – Araminta
  9. Something That Happened – Of Mice and Men , John Steinbeck – Theroyalist
  10. Zounds, He Dies – Farewell My Lovely, Raymond Chandler, Araminta.
  11. The House of Faith – Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh – Araminta
  12. The Last Man in Europe – George Orwell’s 1984 – Araminta
  13. If Wishes Were Horses – From Here to Eternity, James Jones – Araminta
  14. The Kingdom by The Sea – Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov – Araminta.

Try not to Google if you can help it. I think it would be more fun to work it out. If it is necessary, I will provide the names of the authors, in a random manner, as a clue.

Thanks Soutie.  OK here are the missing authors:

James Jones
Thomas Hardy
Charles Dickens
Jane Austen
Vladimir Naobokov
John Steinbeck
Raymond Chandler
Evelyn Waugh
Margaret Mitchell

Thank you all.