More from the ‘couldn’t make it up department.’
How on earth do you become a qualified municipal electrician in South Africa?
This an actual sign with instructions for electricians to follow in case of a power failure at the Marikana sub-station, between Pretoria and Rustenburg.
I found it on a site specializing in technology for lawyers so it must be genuine 😉
After class (adult-learning evening class) we sometimes used to go to a pub in Summertown called ‘The Dew Drop Inn’ – (what an awful pun) for a glass of a favourite tipple and a debrief: but the name came to mind this afternoon on the way back from work when I stopped for a photo of the trees hung with Christmas decoration style icicles…. I think they caught my eye because of the sun’s position in the sky.
AN ACTUAL CRAIG’S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I’d like to apologise for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?! Continue reading “Craig’s list ad–Read it closely folks… a good one.”
The Minister for Bankrupting the Country is to be charged with perverting the course of justice, along with his ex-wife. For those that don’t know, Chris Huhne is, or rather was,  Minister for Energy and Climate Change , a post first held by King Canute, yes I know he was really only demonstrating to his courtiers that he no control over the weather, but hoi polloi think he was trying to turn the tides back :-). Continue reading “O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
An early phone call from the UK today necessitates a very quick trip to the UK.
I am the only surviving witness in a Chancery case that has dragged on for years.
Now I’m needed Monday morning in court!, Yeah thanks, a real lot of notice. Fastest purchased ticket in the West! Just to let you know I will be running round like a blue arsed fly for the whole month sorting out my own affairs whilst I am there and will not be here very much.
Just thought I’d let you know before you thought I’d flounced.
In haste…..
There have been very few times in my life when I have thought that I had got it right. Marrying Mrs M, of course. Mostly, I have had doubts about my rightness. Until tonight when another possible example hoved into view.
It seems that one of my fellow Jocks is starting to pall. Billy Connolly is, apparently, getting grief on his current tour for not having new material. I truly did try to warn him about this. Continue reading “I Warned Him”
The Captain of the ill fated Italian cruise Liner, Costa Concordia, started his new job yesterday. Francesco Schettino was quoted as saying: ‘Ah bollocks – not again! Looks like 2012 isn’t going to be a good year’ 😉
The benefits cap. Bring it on. Continue reading “Let them eat M&S.”
Like many cherished colleagues I was brought up with a cricket ball in my cradle, ready for my inevitable success as a player. My Dad was a mean swing bowler and played for Armstrong Siddeley every fine summer Saturday, while Mum was an official scorer, dotting and crossing in all the right boxes. My sister and I soon learned how to do it and waved back to the umpire whenever required.
At more rarified altitudes than ours, the game was socially divided between amateurs and professionals: gentlemen and players – until 1962 when Fiery Fred Trueman (a player of course) referred to it as a ‘ludicrous business…thankfully abolished’. But the distinction had reflected the long history of cricket as a social catalyst. Or was it?
The Beeb had an article only yesterday on that very idea. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16821779. Romantic and salutary apparently. But I wonder. I’m not convinced that peasants performing for the entertainment of their betters (!) represented anything but an expression of the feudal order. Fraternity, Equality and Liberty it wasn’t! Didn’t the gentlemen and players have separate dressing rooms? Or am I mis-remembering?
Boadicea's Chariot 
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