Category: Techo stuff

Call it science, doh?

Vintage Christmas Elves Gift Giving Card

Let’s look forward to another year of ground-breaking research; never mind Higgs Boson, when you can marvel at this one.

“Performing deliberate acts of kindness makes pre-teen children more popular with their peers, say scientists.” Well! Would you believe it? Funnily enough I don’t have public funding or charitable tax status but I’ve just witnessed, under strictly anecdotal conditions of course, a similar phenomenon when handing presents to grandchildren, and I’m not even a peer (or Peer if it comes to that).

“I was not completely surprised that students increased in happiness, because we have found the same effects in adults,” said the researcher.” Really? You mean, being nice to older people pays off too? Surely that will need further intensive research during a couple of fully funded doctorates?

For those cherished colleagues eager to look further into this amazing contribution to the sum of human knowledge, see: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-20851434

Papa’s got a brand new bag

Well, actually, it’s a brand new toy for Christmas. A Chromebook.

For those who do not know, a Chromebook is a simple netbook type computer based on the Google Chrome browser, where all the apps are on the network. This means they are all up to date all the tine and as the system does not need so much power it is quite cheap. It also means that the system is ready for use about 5 seconds after switching on, but unlike a tablet, it has a proper keyboard.

It promises to be fun. We shall see.

Acer C7

Juletide approacheth

Like it or loathe it, you can’t ignore it. The first nisser (elves to you) are now multiplying around the supermarkets to herald the season of ill-temper and untold misery for millions. As one small victim put it so succinctly: “dear santa, larst yere you wos a mean bogger.” But I bring good tidings. Yours truly, Janus Agonensis, is setting up in competition with the ageing Arctic benefactor. After all, two heads are better than one and my delivery service is syndicated to low-tax Amazon. So all you have to do is to tell me your deepest desires – which will be fulfilled, subject to your signed agreement to the terms and conditions detailed in a special app available from Boots and all good garden centres, price $49.95. Thank you for your attention and have a nice day. Welcome to the Agonalia! (see Wiki for assistance as required).

Yet another modern GF

Ode to a sparkler


O slender wand, what pleasure looms
As Dad ignites your bulbous head!

That burst of light and hiss that comes
With flying sparks so quickly dead.

We practice chants and magic spells –
Abracadabra. Let’s play swords!

‘Til ‘one of us’, my sister tells,
Is writing all the rudest words.

And then, you’re gone. It’s dark once more.
Just wiry junk left on the floor.

‘A modern GF’ – a November pome

My name is Fookes, Guy Fookes, the spook.        
Yes, Doubl’-O-K, so spell it right!
Licensed to kill, I am, and look!
I’m all tooled up and fit to fight.

You’ll want to know who runs my show.
A British ‘M’? A Euro-cell?
The Mossad? CIA? Er, no.
Thing is, I actually don’t know. Continue reading “‘A modern GF’ – a November pome”

Gossip makes the best history

I’m reminded of this fact by Christina’s frequent anecdotes which round up all sorts of facts of every imaginable kind. Christina, you’re the Herodotus of the modern age! A strange comparison you may think, but akshully (thanks, Furry) the father of European history displayed an encyclopedic memory for both the valuable and the trivial, be it politics, geography, family life, war or mythology. He called it his ‘enquiry’, a record of his travels around the known world in the middle of the 5th century BC. “Ἡροδότου Ἁλικαρνησσέος ἱστορίης ἀπόδεξις ἥδε” – “This is a presentation of the enquiry of Herodotus of Halicarnassos”.

Watch out

Everybody I know (except my sister who is only just starting to use the remote for her telly) has a mobile thingy somewhere about their person. And the younger they are, the more complex their devices. Something to do with apps and uploads – whatever they may be. So as I was noticing yet another Rolex ad on t’telly the other day, I thought, “Why do people bother? ‘Cos I don’t.” OK, I’ll modify that. I realise that fashion victims have to display bejewelled time-pieces as a mark of their wealth/coolness/superiority, but normal people really don’t need one, do they, even if they work at two hundred fathoms? Just nudge your ikit and check the time in every time-zone imaginable. And the same goes of course for alarm clocks, grandfather clocks and Big Ben himself. Surplus to requirements, redundant, as useful as a chocolate teapot, if Christopher will allow me.