Epic Win

Letter home from school…

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.

A week later….. a letter from “home”

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

>_>

<_<

Yes, I know I went AWOL around the Jurassic era. Rumours of my extinction have been greatly exaggerated, nonetheless.

I’m on a roll.

After a long night of making love,
the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed.


He begins to worry.
’Is this your husband?’ he nervously asks.


‘No, silly,’ she replies, snuggling up to him.


‘Your boyfriend, then?’ he continues.

‘No, not at all,’ she says, nibbling away at his ear.


‘Is it your dad or your brother?’ he inquires, hoping to be reassured.


‘No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!’ she answers.


‘Well, who in the hell is he, then?’  he demands.


She whispers in his ear
 ‘That’s me before the surgery.’

🙂

By Royal Disappointment

Look, I am a bred and born Monarchist. Came the time when I was old enough for self-determination and sufficient intellectual rigour to consider the options, I still chose to adhere.

Sometimes, it is hard. I have no idea if Southron readers of the DT were exposed to the photo spread of our beloved Duke of Rothesay with which we were regaled up here north of the Wall today. This is the only photo that I could find on-line.

Continue reading “By Royal Disappointment”

Rugby World Cup 2011 in NZ – an amateur pundit goes on record

Not a blog for all I fancy, so if not your cup of tea, do feel free to ignore! Although, to attract some of our members, here is a free look at the greatest Number 10 currently playing, young Daniel Carter. A lovely chap, I have met him, he’s very polite and shy:

Continue reading “Rugby World Cup 2011 in NZ – an amateur pundit goes on record”

Yankee Chickens Panic at a drop of rain

When an area of Queensland larger than France and Germany put together was under water, did your image and video code still get corrected so that other Charioteers could view them?   Yes!

When our capital city was inundated under 30 metres of water, were your grammar mistakes and your typos still efficiently put right?   Yes!

When Boadicea and I sat for days and weeks under a metal roof pounded incessantly by tropical rainfall at six inches or more per hour, did the high quality of the Chariot degrade for even a minute? No!

When Cyclone Yasi thundered across our State, remaining at Category 1 for a thousand kilometres or more until it crossed the border with the Northern Territory, did we wimper?   No!

But when New York was threatened by no more than a tropical storm, the American nation reacted as though the Four Horsemen had teamed up with Al Qaeda to precipitate Ragnarök.   Certain cherished colleagues – Charioteers who inhabit the effete country and a timid canis lupus – so lost their intestinal fortitude as to suggest that grammar and punctuation were no longer important.   The editorial suite was shaken to its core.

A dose of stiff upper lip (from the Poms), and a laid back “She’ll be right” (from the Aussies) is what you guys need.   Forget punctuation?   “Tell ’em they’re dreaming” [The Castle, 1997].

Toby Harnden summed it up pretty well on the Telegraph.

No disrespect to LW, CO or OZ intended.   Well, not much, anyway. 🙂