Category: General

Bloody Voters

Well, this wasn’t supposed to happen. The Tories have been in power since 2010. The hapless/hopeless/charmless/unloved/useless Toxic Tess’s government has a 29pc approval rating. Saint Jeremy of Islington walks on the Thames every day on his way to Parliament. The enthusiasm of young voters will make historical gains inevitable. Wandsworth, Westminster and Barnett will go Labour causing a Tory collapse in all parts of London, blah, blah, bloody blah. So far, neither party has done especially well but the Tories have held their own. That Labour are so desperate to spin an underwhelming performance as a great success makes one wonder if Saint Jeremy is even more useless and Toxic Tess.

Sweet Irony

I have long advocated an electoral system that requires a minimum level of qualification. The great and the good have always countered that such a system would be undemocratic and even raising the subject bordered on fascism. So it is with a sense of sweet irony that I read this article in the Guardian, written by none other than a black lady from Zambia, (formerly Northern Rhodesia) in which she extols the benefits of a qualified vote. Has she really forgotten what Rhodesia was all about? Anybody from any race was able to vote, provided they met certain qualifications. Whether those qualifications were too rigorous is a moot point, but the principle remains. And that, hopefully, is the thin end of a wedge which for one will certainly welcome.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/may/02/democracy-crisis-plan-trump-brexit-system-politicans-voters

California Dreaming (Via Sweden)

The problem with planning a trip nearly five months in advance is that you can never know what last-minute hiccoughs will arise. Travelling from Dorchester South to London Waterloo is generally speaking straightforward. I drag myself out of bed, clamber awkwardly through Dorset’s county town and board a direct train. Track work and industrial action made this impossible on the one day I had to travel to London.This necessitated drastic action; namely, National Express. Continue reading “California Dreaming (Via Sweden)”

Ripley’s believe it or not!

It’ll soon be the 50th anniversary of the historic Apollo 11 moon landing. On that Sunday 500 million viewers worldwide tuned in, mostly on black and white TVs, to watch the  Lunar parking. I missed it myself, only three at the time, and probably in jammies in bed. Now for the older, wiser (?) me the buzz words “over eyes” and “pull the wool” knit my brows. Was this a big hoodwink?

You could say I am an agnostic Moon Landing conspiracy theorist because I believe it could be 50% right. Firing a rocket with men in it to the moon seems possible. It’s the getting them back that puzzles me. The spaceship has shrank, there’s no scaffolding on the moon that can support/straighten Apollo’s back to earth trajectory and the computerised age of steering things is in its infancy. No drone technology here, only rotary dial phones. Cars in the 60s were basic beasts and prone to breakdown, what chance a ship going all those light years without any wear or tear? I mean, even the communication system was on the blink and the sound man missed an a on Armstrong’s rehearsed script.

I blame Concorde. Continue reading “Ripley’s believe it or not!”

Beyond, totally, utterly Beyond!

How in God’s name can a 78 year old be dragged off by the pigs on a murder charge when defending himself and his home?

So some lowlife gets hoist on his own petard, in this case a lowly screwdriver, and snuffs it.  Jolly good, one less piece of lowlife, give the guy a medal who achieved it, certainly not a murder charge.  Ironically it was the pensioner himself who called the pigs, pity he didn’t just drag the corpse out into the gutter and leave him there!

Continue reading “Beyond, totally, utterly Beyond!”

These aren’t the Droids you’re looking for

Unlike, say, Exorcists, hypnotists are for real. There’s no way the charlatan mesmeriser can put so many pre-planned plants on the stage. Like the bodysnatchers of old they’d run out of bodies. Ergo(es my reason for living), hypnotism must be a genuine article. That being the suitcase, this means we can all be mind benders, if we put our mind to it.

Corrupt hypnotists

All walks. It has to be said that if there was an upsurge in the hypnotist community a roguish element would take foot and mouth and hand and Adam’s apple. These non-Marquess of Queensbury rules hypnotists would indulge in all manner of crimes: robbery, humiliation, blog post manipulation. The world would be their Facebook. Luckily, the gift of hypnotism is limited to a less few humanoids.

Instant Kaa ma 

I’ve tried and tried to hypnotise without success. My human hypnotees, in pity, shake their heads at me as I fail to make them recite a Loony Limerick. In desperation, I turn to inanimate objects and will the clock (i.e. hypnotise the clock, not the clock is called Will) to go an hour forward. I stare at the face of the time machine. Look me in the eyes. Right in the eyes. Come closer. Closer still..

Steve Smith must be sacked

. . . and never allowed to play for Australia again

The cheek of the man!

He’s blatantly guilty of pre-planned ball-tampering and yet he says he won’t resign.   How dare he be so arrogant?   He must be immediately removed by CA from the captaincy and from the team.   Forever!

Australia has always prided itself on not cheating – that’s a reputation that will take years to re-establish.   On any home ground, Smith will be booed off, I’m sure.

I’m also inclined to the view that the “leadership group”, whoever they are, should also be banned from playing in their country’s colours ever again, whatever that does to our chances of winning international matches.   Actually, they’re not all that hot at the moment and there are plenty of young (and not so young) state cricketers ready to take their place.

On behalf of Australian Cricket, I apologise for the deplorable behaviour of our National Cricket Team and its ex-captain.

Sob!

Less or Fewer?

. . . actually, I couldn’t care fewer 😉

puzzled-man

Most Charioteers have at least one favourite grammatical rule, even if they’re not fully paid-up grammar tragics like Janus or me.

It’s not one of my personal bêtes noires, but I am aware that the rules governing the use of less and fewer are dear to the hearts of one or two of our company, and when the occasion arises I’m usually happy to grin, nod sagely and let them get on with it.

But I was fascinated to discover this article, which I reckon is a gem of its type.   Perhaps you’ll think so too. 😎