Janus

Down in the forest……

Flintinge Byskov

Something stirred. So faint that I scarcely heard,
But the forest leapt at the sound,
Like a good ship homeward bound.
Down in the forest something stirred,
It was only the song of a bird.

But it was quiet inside the 5,200-year-old burial chamber, just a stone’s throw from our front door. It’s what’s known as a ‘passage grave’ – referring to its construction, not its purpose! Excavated 140 years ago by the then-landowner, about the same time as our house was built for his gamekeeper-cum-forest bailiff.

15 minutes with Backside, 2

British politics has had its pantomime villains down the years but nobody, I submit, as deliciously villainous as Burlesquoni, the Abanazar of the year-round theatre that is Italian life! I mean, we’ve all booed at Prezza and whistled at Archer but their misdemeanours pale in comparison to Baron Bunga-bunga.

Even now – when he’ll have to do community service – he might still qualify for public office! Imagine the scene: a PM giving singing and dancing lessons for free to disadvantaged immigrants from North Africa.

Grazie, Silvio!

15 minutes with Backside, 1

I see that schools are now prohibiting girls from wearing skirts, insisting on trousers just like the boys wear. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-23522499

Well, it was never an issue when I were a lad because schools were segregated, so the lasses were never inspired to reveal too much leg or wha’ever. In fact the trouble always starts when boys and girls are thrown together, innit?

The solution is to dress all girls in floor-length gowns, with bags on their heads. No show, no see, no problem. Sound familiar?

That’s how it is

My headline is the lazy response from people who really want something but won’t work for it.

Some stalwarts (a small number) still post their experiences, thoughts, enthusiasms and prejudices here – so why don’t the rest of you? It takes perhaps 15 minutes every few days.

Answer: you really don’t care that much. Pity.

On the move – or not

As my occasional reader knows, Backside is a stickler for good form. ‘Good’, meaning less irritating than people usually are. So when it comes to walking around public places, he’s lined up a few of his grumpiest gripes.

1. Have you noticed the door-stops? They stop to scratch themselves (or wha’evah) plumb in the entrance to a shop, an escalator or a bus, thus preventing all mobile users of the facility?

2. What about the broad-sides? They walk confidently along, happy with the delusion that they are not wider in girth than normal folk and can easily get through the available gap in the crowd.

3. And the ubiquitous pram brigade? They congregate in garrulous groups with the obvious objective of filling the pavement completely and endangering the lives the rest of us.

Don’t you just love people too? Do tell.

Hell-o-oh!

‘Scuse me, Boa Boss! Poetry ain’t TBA no longer. It be up and running, alive and kicking, fit and well!

https://charioteers.org/2013/07/25/summertime-the-august-poetry-challenge/

‘Normous smiley wotsit.

This way, gang!

In the heavy evening air she was pursued by hundreds of manic males and chose our white garden parasol as the scene of her nuptials. But no shrinking violet this girl! She fought off one suitor after another, demanding the attentions of only the strongest and most persistent. It went on for hours until darkness fell and the bodies of the successful males lay scattered acrosss the white fabric. No doubt the queen ant had already settled on her new home, somewhere nearby.

That’s life in the wild wood.