Author: theroyalist

Fawkes Hunting (Bearsy poetry comp etc.)

Originally to be found buried in the monolithic thread. Now fully deserving a place of its own.  A William Hague ditty about old Guido.

Beware the tales you tell backfire on you
Trails of entrails snaking the milieu
Causing untold harm to each and everyone
Repent! Repent! Unlearn to loose your tongue
Curb those barb’d blurbles that gush frequently
Vandalising lifestyle ways snarlingly
Slaughter you’ve wrought blood red under sky blue
Scales we call justice are swinging for you

You can run and you can hide like a fox
We’ll claw your dial as sure as ticking clock
The bles’d poets down here write nothing at all
The pen fell’d dead violently on the wall
Clemency for your effigy. No luck
We’ll dance on your grave with lighted fireworks

For want of a Book

As I glanced at the text on the computer screens I noticed a change in their layout. This had the effect of bewildering me to the spot; an occurrence that only happens when a shop changes its floor plan drastically without consulting me. Sensing my confused state from underneath a pile of books on her desk, the librarian’s opening gambit was the trusty, “can I help you.”

Not expecting conversation confounded me further that only after a pregnant pause could I explain I was here to use the library’s search facility machine. Continue reading “For want of a Book”

Definitely not Sports Illustrated (September C/W)

Chuck and his buddies were practicing on the basketball court to much jeer leading by contemporaries who favored football. Chuck made a few free throws.
Missed. Missed. Missed.
Hoops of derision rounded from the sidelines.

Continue reading “Definitely not Sports Illustrated (September C/W)”

Exodus- Blackpool 1986

To the best of my knowledge all of the following recollection is true-

There were nine of us altogether. Me, my future wife, my future brother-in-law, my future sister-in-law, my future mother-in-law, my future wife’s auntie, my future wife’s uncle and a futureless male/female couple who were friends of the uncle. Not having learned to drive at this particular juncture the uncle and friend agreed to share the driving duties on the mini-bus they had hired from their work. At six AM we headed south on a day trip to Blackpool. Continue reading “Exodus- Blackpool 1986”

The waters around you have grown

Once upon a time I knew the ninety-two home venues of the teams in the Football League. They were constant, reliable, Swiss clockwork even. A few stadium disasters later grounds got upgraded and things changed. Some of them changed names. For a traditionalist like me 1987 was a Bosman year. This was the year a team got promoted from the Conference (second tier football or League 5 in other words) and the bottom team in Division four got relegated. Now, every year there were new grounds to learn and we lost some of the old ones. Since 2003 two teams now get promoted. Continue reading “The waters around you have grown”

Shoedown at Horseless Gulch (August C/W2)

The beautiful brunette was sashaying down the street oblivious to the stir she was creating: men were falling off ladders, walking into lampposts, filling in crosswords wrong; the smokers outside The Draughty Lum were toppling like dominoes; bin men, dumbfounded, found that they had lost their inherent ability to whistle. The lady’s journey took her past two young men who went by the aliases of Dutch and Beandance.

“She fancies me.” said Dutch. Continue reading “Shoedown at Horseless Gulch (August C/W2)”