Author: janh1

Part-time hedonist.

Pyrotechnic manoeuvres in the dark

Tonight, I’m going to stare into a fiery pits of a diabolically massive bonfire and get neck-ache going “oooh” and “ahhh” at some wondrous good rockets and other fireworks.

Bonfire night is one of those occasions I hate to miss. Not because I like noise – though I don’t mind it – but because of the connection with real fabulous, leaping fire, which you don’t see much these days unless you’re an ardent fire-engine follower – and the chance of seeing fireworks that are even more spectacular than last year’s. Continue reading “Pyrotechnic manoeuvres in the dark”

Creative Writing Comp – October

My eyes play tricks on me again. It’s not the first time this has happened but I don’t have the medication with me. When I stumbled a man and woman came to help me. As I sit here now on the bench in the graveyard, the lights are bleeding into the dark stone of the church. They confuse me. They drip down in long lines and then they flash like fireworks.

Continue reading “Creative Writing Comp – October”

The goddess revealed

I could never watch Nigella Lawson’s cookery programmes.

I tried a few, but quite frankly all that sensous finger-licking and general lusciousness left me cold – and it was quite clear she was primarily selling the whole “domestic goddess/perfect family” lifestyle aspiration with tasty, reliable recipes only a kind of accessory. Continue reading “The goddess revealed”

Hurrah for local newspaper website message boards

I’m sharing this because it made me laugh.

 

It’s comical that any new “bar venue” in Gloucester could be described as ‘classy’ and the comments, as sometimes happens here aboard the Chariot, are comic and add up to so much more than the sum of their original part.

 

Look out for Tarquin Cordwangler-Smythe!

 

Surprise! Oh. Er….

Things go wrong, I know. Nobody’s perfect are they? But it’s annoying when things go wrong that actually, you could usually do blindfolded.

I’m talking cooking. I completely take it for granted now after 30 odd years of cooking that I don’t need to think twice about whipping up a sponge, a pavlova, a casserole, a roast, a wicked crumble, a unique bread and butter pud, and, recently, reasonably yummy cheesecake. Continue reading “Surprise! Oh. Er….”

Feline dog-training II

Starting to see results dog-training the kittens. They both come and greet me at the door when I arrive home without me calling them. Leo bounds over to say hello vocally, cavorting and purring loudly. Think feline lawnmower. Lily takes her time as though she’s slightly resentful of having to turn out when she was, after all, fast asleep. Her purr has got louder. You no longer have to place a hand on her back to tell if she’s purring or not by feeling the vibrations. Continue reading “Feline dog-training II”

How to give a cat a pill

A friend sent me this. Some may have seen it.  But I like it.

How to give a cat a pill

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Continue reading “How to give a cat a pill”