Month: July 2015

No less tedious than most “news” stories — and perhaps slightly more amusing in sick, twisted way!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/craigsilverman/people-in-toronto-created-a-memorial-to-a-dead-raccoon-after?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpgp#.xle5byzBm

I fear, Oberkommandant Backside that our cover has been blown due to poor choices in plants. My mission to peacefully integrate the United Kingdom into a greater German Empire has not gone as planned. In shame, I will resign from the mission and go into self-imposed exile in China. I regret that my failure will lead to Germany’s continued Orkney Cheddar deprivation. The fault, however, is not entirely my own. Your choice of Dougal MacDog as mole was a poor one indeed. Also, you seriously underestimated the abilities of Scotland’s two finest Mi6 agents, Mr and Mrs Mackie.

Continue reading “Och Aye”

The waiting is almost over and the premier cricket event of the year is about to start.

I refer, of course, to the ICC World T20 Qualifiers 2015 which start tomorrow. There are lots of mouth-watering fixtures to come over the next fortnight. We kick off against the UAE and the match next week between the USA and Jersey looks particularly tasty.

http://www.icc-cricket.com/world-t20-qualifier

To be fair and given our weather at present, most of the games will probably be rained off so I may have to seek other entertainment.

There seems to be a match going on just now between England and some touring Colonial side. I suppose I could check it out.

Greece has voted “oxi” to the EU’s demands. Fair enough, they’ve achieved nothing but making an already bad situation infinitely worse over the past 6 years. Over the last week there were countless threats from all corners of the Old Continent should the Hellenes not bow to the pressure of the Huns and Allies. So will the sky now fall? Will the Flying Dutchman sail on Syntagma Square? Will Godzilla tear down the Acropolis? Or will, in extremis, the Bank of Greece simply print 20-euro notes by the stone? It’s worth keeping in mind that the Latin Monetary Union collapsed after Greece and Italy printed banknotes past the last inch of credibility.

It is 99 degrees here in Germany with high humidity. We have no air-conditioning and all fans are sold out. I will shortly lock myself into a cellar.

We have all heard of the expression “going down like a lead balloon”, have we not?

Well, some students at the University of Bristol have managed to make a lead balloon fly. Is nothing sacred?????

http://www.bristol.ac.uk/news/2015/may/lead-balloon.html

The Lead Balloon.

Well, we finally get rid of Christopher tomorrow.

He seems to have enjoyed himself and I await, with interest,  his critique of Embra and those parts of Caledonia that he has visited in the past week.

All credit to him. He has dealt with everything that I have thrown at him, including the Full Scottish Breakfast which he consumed on the banks of the Union Canal on Friday. This was particularly impressive when you consider that he had just visited the home town of Alex Salmond.

Anyhow, here’s that breakfast:-

The chips are, to be fair, not his (although he did pinch a few). Not that I’m bitter.

Haggis and black pudding front left. Potato scone rear right behind the beans.

When we offered him  his choice for his last meal in Scotland, he specified another FSB. I will be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to prepare it for him.

No beans will be involved but he’s going to have to cope with a bit of clootie dumpling.

Photo to follow.

As usual, a government report is published and produces no result whatsoever. The Airports Commission’s report on which option is best for a new runway in the south east of England amounts to not a lot. The recommended solution is a third runway at Heathrow with the rider that Gatwick is also a credible alternative.

The truth of the matter is that the result will be dithered over for as long as possible and it is likely that Gatwick will be chosen to have a second runway, as fewer ministers constituencies are affected by any new runway, as well as the fact that far fewer people will be affected, although Heathrow makes more economic sense. It will not affect us either way, as we live relatively close to both of the airports, but not close enough to be troubled by extra planes. In the meantime, Amsterdam, Frankfurt and various other continental airports are expanding apiece.

Oh well, In the end I expect demand will be so high that there will be a new runway at Heathrow, Gatwick and Stanstead.

What do you guys think?

This idiot, whose name I had never heard before, is apparently standing for the leadership of the LibDims.  I don’t know whether this suggestion will actually be on his manifesto.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/11709766/Peppa-Pig-childrens-show-should-have-gay-characters-Lib-Dem-candidate-suggests.html?WT.mc_id=e_DM28261&WT.tsrc=email&etype=Edi_Pol_New&utm_source=email&utm_medium=Edi_Pol_New_2015_07_01&utm_campaign=DM28261

What possible reason could a childrens’ programme for a very young age range have for bringing in homosexual characters? My two little granddaughters love the Peppa Pig characters. There are boys and girls, Mummies and Daddies and some grandparents and other adults.  There are no sexual connotations whatsoever and no need to introduce any.  If the LibDims really want to commit political suicide, they now know what to do.