Me

I am 62 years old. I have lived, or worked for extended periods of time, in Aden, Australia, Brazil, Cambodia, China, Cyprus, the Falkland Islands, the Former Yugoslavia, Germany, Hong Kong, Kenya, Korea, Malaysia, Netherlands, Philippines, Russia, Singapore, Taiwan, Republic of China, Thailand, Viet Nam. I have worked for shorter periods of time in Canada, Greece, Iceland, Italy, Laos and Turkey. I am literate in English, Chinese, (Mandarin and Cantonese,) German and Greek. I also speak Russian and Serbo-Croatian. I can read a newspaper in Russian. I can chat in Spanish and French. I have some knowledge of Thai and Shanghainese and a few words in Bahasa, (Malay and Indonesian,) Vietnamese and Shanghai dialect. I read a lot, mainly in English and German. My current news sources of choice are The Telegraph, The Times, The Sydney Morning Herald, the Times of India, the South China Morning Post, Da Kong Pao in Hong Kong, CNN and Al Jazeera. By training I am an analyst. I served 25 years in the Army. I have been to war twice. I have also done my time in counter-terrorism in Northern Ireland. I am now an Independent Security Consultant. My role involves anything to do with the security and safety of people and assets, including information and intangible assets. I train, teach and coach. I am the father of three well-adjusted, successful children and grandfather to two more as well as sponsor of a number of children in different countries. I have friends on all continents of the World with whom I correspond more or less regularly. I have contacts in many countries, and if there is somewhere where I don’t know someone, it is almost certain that ‘I know a man who does.’ I am an atheist and a true libertarian. I do not categorise individuals by race, colour, creed, gender or private sexual preference.* I do understand that there are distinguishing social and cultural viewpoints and values that are shared, to varying extents, by groups of people.

What is my point? It is to make a request. Please do not assume that any opinions I express here, as opposed to matters of fact which I generally attempt to support with appropriate references, are lightly formed or based on other than experience, education, (in the sense of reading and researching as widely as I can on subjects that concern me or about which I wish to be informed,) and reflection. Please do not, (as is particularly the case with the followers of organised superstition,) tell me I do not understand – show me, by all means. Learning is a continuing process, if not, one’s brain turns to cold porridge.

Thank you.

*This does not preclude my personal opinion that the insertion of part of one’s body into a tube full of excreta is a revolting act.

The hoard again

Here is a short poem based on one of the artifacts of the Staffordshire Hoard.

Folded Cross


To fold a cross into a pocket,
the soft gold arms doubled inward
re-forming its branches into
the pliable and wayward.

Along these paths of gold,
creatures intertwine,
course out from round garnet
to round garnet. Their fluid
motion caught mid tangle.

Who has done this?
Creased one mystery into another.

Artisan? Merchant? Thief?

Bending the cross’ four directions,
thin mirrors of the planet,
into the center—

None of us are perfect but….

Do not be hectoring or arrogant. Those who disagree with you are not necessarily stupid or insane. Nobody needs to be described as silly: let your analysis show that he is. When you express opinions, do not simply make assertions. The aim is not just to tell readers what you think, but to persuade them; if you use arguments, reasoning and evidence, you may succeed. Go easy on the oughts and shoulds. ( Telling people they are talking nonsense is a bit of a turn off; and does not further the debate.)

Do not be too pleased with yourself. Don’t boast of your own cleverness by telling readers that you correctly predicted something or that you have a scoop. You are more likely to bore or irritate them than to impress them.

Do not be too chatty. Surprise, surprise is more irritating than informative. So is Ho, ho, etc.  ( Hmm, don’t agree with this one at all, but I suppose it wouldn’t go down too well on the Economist)

Do not be too didactic. If too many sentences begin Compare, Consider, Expect, Imagine, Look at, Note, Prepare for, Remember or Take, readers will think they are reading a textbook (or, indeed, a style book).

Yikes:  I think I am doing it all wrong!

Very amusing.

I have just found this on Norman Tebbits blog today in the DT,  by someone called ‘ timbury’.

I thought you might enjoy it.

Battle Hymn of the UK Electorate

Mine eyes have seen the Tories come a-claiming their reward,
Although they did quite poorly and the warnings were ignored,
The moral of the story is the Tories must applaud
Electoral reform…

For Tory votes were less than half, as a-foreseen in the polls,
And in the voting’s aftermath Dave passed the begging bowl,
So Nick has got the last laugh as he held them to the coals,
As to the manner born…

For Nick’s the new king-maker, he’s a-fighting for PR,
His vote’s a make-or-breaker, it’s his finest hour by far,
But is Nick a high-staker or just wants a bigger car?
Will pacts become the norm?

(Chorus)
Brown, you had it coming to you
Brown, you had it coming to you
Brown, you had it coming to you
The debt goes marching on.

Continue reading “Very amusing.”

Whacko of the Week (2)

Had to add an extra Whacko of the Week when I saw this. It is a joint award; to the Daily Telegraph for publishing this crap, and to Hartwig Hausdorf, the ‘expert’ in question:

Aliens ‘hijack’ Nasa’s Voyager 2 spacecraft, claims expert.

Herr Hausdorf is a graduate of the Munich Tourism Trade School. He worked in a travel agency specialising in tours to the Far East and now heads a Travel Agency. He writes books on the para-normal, (that is, fairy tales.) That is his ‘expertise.’ Bad Daily Telegraph!

Doggerel

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.

Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors , emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.

The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. Continue reading “Doggerel”