Very amusing.

I have just found this on Norman Tebbits blog today in the DT,  by someone called ‘ timbury’.

I thought you might enjoy it.

Battle Hymn of the UK Electorate

Mine eyes have seen the Tories come a-claiming their reward,
Although they did quite poorly and the warnings were ignored,
The moral of the story is the Tories must applaud
Electoral reform…

For Tory votes were less than half, as a-foreseen in the polls,
And in the voting’s aftermath Dave passed the begging bowl,
So Nick has got the last laugh as he held them to the coals,
As to the manner born…

For Nick’s the new king-maker, he’s a-fighting for PR,
His vote’s a make-or-breaker, it’s his finest hour by far,
But is Nick a high-staker or just wants a bigger car?
Will pacts become the norm?

(Chorus)
Brown, you had it coming to you
Brown, you had it coming to you
Brown, you had it coming to you
The debt goes marching on.

The brand new coalition is a-taking up the reins
With Dave in pole position, but the question still remains:
Is Nick’s eye on a mission in the over-taking lane
In England’s middle ground?

In the hurly-burly, Nick’s a-grabbed a-hold of Dave
By the short and curlies, just in case he misbehaves,
So Christmas has come early for the top Lib-Dem enclave,
Nick hasn’t let them down…

For Dave will have to stand the stress, a-ppearing lean and mean,
Revamp the schools, the NHS and cut the state machine,
He’s even got to re-assess the Trident Submarine
And still defend the pound…

(Chorus)
Oh you’ve got it coming to you
Oh you’ve got it coming to you
Oh you’ve got it coming to you
The debt goes marching on.

For Dave must cut the spending, go a-trimming of the sails,
Decisions are all pending and he knows when all else fails,
He’ll blame it never-endingly on Labour’s alpha males
Who used to hold his post…

The markets fret about our fate, a-teetering on the brink,
So it’s too soon to celebrate, it’s harder than you think
To trim an over-bloated state, it drives us all to drink,
So let’s propose a toast…

To Dave, who has his hands full, it’s a-more than he can chew,
He’ll soon find it’s a load of bull, there’s nothing he can do,
There are no strings for him to pull, his options are so few
It’s all an idle boast…

Oh you’ve got it coming to you
Oh you’ve got it coming to you
Oh you’ve got it coming to you
The debt goes marching on.

The coalition deal’s a gem, when a-all is said and done,
By joining Tories and Lib-Dems, the savings have begun,
Instead of having one PM we’ve two-for-the-price-of-one,
For that’s what friends are for…

A little bit of this and that, a-tinkering on the side,
A tax cut here, a rise in VAT, but surely they’ll decide
That neutering the fat cats would be fiscal suicide
With less tax than before…

The duo’s full of pros and cons, a-like as chalk and cheese,
And no one thinks that Dave is wrong to have a few Plan B’s,
For we know Nick is working on a second set of keys
To Downing Street’s back-door…

Oh! You’ve got it coming to you
Oh! You’ve got it coming to you
Oh! You’ve got it coming to you
The debt goes marching on

Old Brown’s body’s not a-shouldering the blame,
Perhaps it was an act of God he called old ladies names,
He claims he never spared the rod, just tried to play the game
Of ending boom and bust…

New Labour’s hoards were beaten off, a-sighing of relief,
Revenge is never sweet enough, we’re in for pain and grief
From Lib-Dems and an Eton toff, it beggars all belief –
They are the upper crust…

And Hague is in the FCO, with George a-counting beans,
And sounding vague and keeping low, we all know what that means,
But Dave says it’s all systems GO, he’s been to see the Queen,
Are they people we can trust?

Oh you’ve got it coming to you
Oh you’ve got it coming to you
Oh you’ve got it coming to you
The debt goes marching on

(Slowly)
Mine eyes have seen the Tories as their a-governing chances soared,
We don’t know what they’re happy for, we know their plans are flawed,
For Dave and Nick the more we hurt the lower they’ll be scored
When next we come to vote…

Mine eyes have seen the Tories come a-reaching their accord,
On Nick Clegg’s day of glory as the first champagne was poured,
But we all know the more we spend the less we can afford,
Our chances look remote…

Mine eyes have seen the Tories come a-returning from abroad,
Labour’s fate was gory as we put them to the sword,
But we all know the more we hope the less that we’re assured
That we’ll be kept afloat…

Oh you have it coming to you
Oh you have it coming to you
Oh you have it coming to you
The debt goes marching on.

Author: christinaosborne

Landed on one side safely.

One thought on “Very amusing.”

  1. Very good!
    I got caught by speed camera on way to work this morning. I’m sure that’s all part of the big squeeze-the-unsuspecting-electorate plan.
    Then again, maybe not…

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